Naming your child something that is difficult to pronounce in English.

My husband has name that he has to spell every time he says it. It wears thin. If your husband can’t even pronounce the name it would be silly to call the baby the name. She would have a lifetime of correcting people.

Don't do it. If they are going to grow up in the UK, give them a name that can be spelled and pronounced in English.

If your DH can't even say it then it's a no.

My dgc, age 6, can't even pronounce her own foreign (middle) name correctly, despite being raised bilingual, so the rest of us have no chance of ever saying or even spelling it right.
Thankfully, her first name is common in both languages, and is still recognisable whether said in English or the other language.

I wouldn't give a child a first name that is going to require an explanation of how it should be pronounced, and that will have to be carefully spelled out, every single time there is contact with anyone outside of the family and friendship group who are in the know.

Think what it is like on the phone to, for example, an insurance company, utilities or a government department, trying to get put through to the right person - sometimes you are transferred through countless departments or call-center handlers before you get to the person you need, and it's not unusual for every single one of those departments to make you go through all your personal details again. That is frustrating enough (not to mention time-consuming) with a common and supposedly easy-to-spell name, never mind one that is going to be totally unrecognisable to just about everyone.

To me it depends on whether the name contains a sound that isn't used in English (like a rolled R) or whether English people would expect it to be pronounced very differently (like English Theo versus German "Tayo"). If it was an unfamiliar sound, I'd consider whether I'd mind if people who couldn't pronounce the sound used the local version (I probably wouldn't). Some English people (including me, and I've studied languages) find it physically very difficult to pronounce a rolled R, and if I was in your position, I wouldn't mind if they used the English form of R. The Theo/Tayo problem would be more annoying as it literally doesn't sound like the same name.

It depends on the name.

Some sounds aren't present in other languages so are really difficult for people who speak different languages to pronounce accurately so with the best will in the world, the name will always be pronounced inaccurately.

And some names have different connotations phonetically in other languages. I used to have a Turkish friend named Fahti which is pronounced farty phonetically. So he chose to use an English name when he was living in England.

Give it to her as a middle name, but you can use it as a special pet name for her yourself. I think her first name should be something her dad can say!

There are sounds you simply don't hear or can't hear the difference between if you didn't get exposed before 7.

I have friends who can't say the R in my name and it doesn't bother me.

But I'm not sure how I'd feel if nobody around me could say the R, including one of my parents.

Shubhendra 🙂 means blessing.

I am Eastern European and remember working with a senior auditor whose first name was Shubhendra. I was astonished how English would call him...."Bob".... I felt that was rude, lazy, arrogant and ignorant or a mixture of all. I always made sure I just would address him by his actual name. It was not difficult, but attitudes were entitled to simplify and anglicise. I am opposed to easy generally anyway. Your choice is to give up early to avoid a fight or be prepared to fight/ correct/ educate for a long time.

Friends with tricky to spell and pronounce Gaelic names have all called their own children simple names like Jane and John.

after a lifetime of hearing their own names mangled and putting up with crazy spellings they didn’t want their kids to go through the same.

People have tried to foist an Anglicised nickname on me or call me by my initial, but I don't let them.
The worst was when I met a man whose two syllable name means " Incomparable" and he said to the office " Just call me Annie".

As someone who has a name that's difficult to pronounce in English don't do it! A lifetime of dreading people asking my name, repeating myself, correcting pronunciation (and them still not getting it right anyway!), being asked "what does it mean?" 🙄
(And also giving a fake name in Starbucks because it's easier lol)

Is there an acceptable English shortening of the name you are happy with so they could have the best of both worlds? (even if it's not conventional - like sometimes people are just known by the first letter, Diana = Dee etc, is there something in the name you'd be okay with as the shortened version for 'public' use while your family have the heritage version to use?)

When you say English people can't pronounce it, does it literally have sounds in that aren't in the English language? In which case I wouldn't - because a large number of people, despite how hard they may try, will not be able to physically make the sound. Is that why your husband can't say it?

I have a friend with a name that is mispronounced in English, so she has changed the spelling so it is phonetic and easy to pronounce in English.

On the fence.
I have such a name, and definitely have to spell it out and coach pronunciation when I meet someone for the first time. I have an anglicised nickname which I didn't choose, but which I go along with as so many find my actual name unpronounceable.
I also love having a really clear link to my heritage. People generally feel little compunction about asking where I'm from ("No, like really, where are you from?" or complimenting me on my unusual name.

They can't though. There are sounds in other languages that don't exists in English and can't be pronounced by people who don't speak the language properly.

I don't see that it matters though. I have friends from many places that don't say my name quite correctly and vice versa, it makes no difference at all. We get the closest possible to it 🤷‍♀️

I'm irish with an English dh and gave my son an old Irish name. Dh hadn't a clue at first but he learned and so has everyone else. I'm expecting again and our second child will also have an Irish name. People will learn to say it , you just have to not be extremely fussy about exact pronunciation

If they can pronounce Tchaikovsky they can pronounce names from another culture.
Tchaikovsky has been transliterated from a different alphabet and spelled phoenetically for English speakers, so it's not a convincing case for using a Dutch namw with the original spelling. In fact, it's a good example of why you shouldn't.

A friend of mine was known by the shortened version of his culture name as no one could pronounce it. This went right back to when he was at school.
With his own children he gave them both a name that sounded the same in both countries , although they were spelt slightly differently. His in laws were horrified partly because in their culture it was the custom for grandparents to name the child.
He said that his children whilst obviously would learn about their parents culture ways and traditions would be brought up in the uk and therefore needed a name that everyone could pronounce as he had spent his whole life from when he came to the uk at the age of 10 correcting people and spelling out his name.

I have a very common English name and people still get it wrong!

I think go for it if you both love it. People can learn about new cultures and pronunciations, it’s not a bad thing

i picked an unusual name for DC and it suits him perfectly

I think it would be lovely to give your daughter a name that recognises her heritage but only if it can be pronounced by someone whose mother tongue is English. If even her dad struggles, then her friends would also find it difficult and she would either get frustrated by having to continually correct them or would be embarrassed.

Incidentally, why will she grow up only speaking English? Do you speak Dutch fluently? If so, it's a shame that she won't grow up bilingual. Couldn't her Dad speak to her in English and you in Dutch?

Yes, that has been my experience, and my name is not even hard to pronounce. I could not understand why it seemed so hard for some people to remember it.

What a load of bollocks.