Did you keep your name choice secret til birth?

We didn't even have a name until she was born and we were in the hospital

Yes.

My DH got to announce the name along with safe arrival and birth weight.

I'd be pretty disappointed to get zero reaction.

What's the name? Is it pretty mainstream? Maybe it's a one that's nice but not that notable?

I didn’t tell till DCs were born, it felt private and personal between me & husband. It was also before your were told the sex of the child before birth

Nope, didn't share the names at all really, I didn't want monogrammed stuff just in case we changed our minds (and we didn't know the sex with first baby).

My FIL told everyone in his local I was pregnant before my husband could tell his own friends (husbands friends were there at the pub) which got my back right up so we didn't share anything with him again.

Names are personal to you, and nobody else's opinion should matter. Not sharing early means nobody gets to have an opinion!!

I would honestly really try not to worry about this, when we settled on a name we honestly couldn't have given less of a shit as to what other people thought lol so we happily told everyone! I've seen people on mumsnet criticise my boy's name on a couple of baby names threads I've seen, people have strong opinions on diminutives not being proper names and I still don't care! We love his name but appreciate everyone has different tastes, it's such a personal choice. I've seen/read about names that I think are boring that are probably considered classic names but everyone is always going to have different opinions. Just stick with your name and don't worry about it at all!

Yes - but only because I didn’t want any negative reactions to put me off. But luckily it sounds like you didn’t get these - just “blah” which to be honest is probably what most people feel about other people’s names (outside of a baby name board, where you are more likely to find name obsessed people like me 🤣).

The only exceptions to that “ blah” reaction in RL might be to more uncommon names (where the reaction risks being a bit more marmite), or perhaps with a popular name that people love because it’s also the name of a friend/family member/their pet.

I’d stick with the name you love too (unless there’s some obvious teasing potential or something but that doesn’t sound like the case here) - you’ll get enough positive reactions to your baby themselves once they’re arrived.

No it wasn't a secret.
But we didn't settle 100% before they were born.

Had happily settled on names for both sexes. DD arrived and we both looked at her and agreed nope, she's just not an XXXXXXX

So that was us back to the drawing board. The same may happen to you!

I think you’re overthinking it, but I also get why you feel a little disappointed that you haven’t had the Big Reveal when the baby is born.

But look on the positives. For the name to be disclosed (accidently), dh is subconsciously calling your child this name so it’s a name he must love.

I remember talking to a colleague and she pursed her lips when I asked had she thought of a name (I had just shared ours) and said ‘oh I wouldn’t tell anyone that’. With the greatest of respect baby names only matter really to the parents and child, I think it’s lovely your dh already has it coming so naturally to say the baby’s name!

We shared with immediate family as I wanted to take the risk and gauge their reaction. My in laws loved it. My family were not massive fans (apart from my lovely Dad who was very sweet and said he wished he had that name). The rest politely responded but didn't shower it with praise.

I was okay with that. Neutral to positive responses felt like a normal reaction to a name. You are never going to find a name that everyone loves.

It also doesn't matter when they arrive. They become the name and nobody will be able to think of them with a different name.

Don't let that neutral reaction put you off.

Yeah my DH did similar and it pissed me off too.

But I wouldn’t not name your child that as a result

I did chat a bit to my parents about our name ideas, partly because they had a slight connection to something else and I wanted to sound them out about whether it was weird or not. But mostly because I absolutely trust them to be supportive of us and our choices and not have weird reactions etc.

Didn’t tell any wider circles name ideas but mostly because it’s generally a good idea to be confident in your own choice and not have a load of people saying “hmm that’s ok but actually I prefer Ethan” or “eugh I knew a weird David, don’t use that”.

But there’s no sense for yours that it’s tainted or not a good surprise any more - I agree that people were respecting the “pretend you didn’t hear that” part. If you are really worried ask someone you trust who is supportive of you what they think. Or dive into the vipers on here 😆. But I wouldn’t worry.

I don’t think it matters that much.

I find the birth announcement a lot more interesting when a friend/relative hasn’t shared the sex or name during pregnancy. I’ve known people who announce the sex and full name at 16 weeks pregnant so there’s not much to announce at birth other than the weight.

But really… I don’t think it’s a huge deal 🤷‍♀️

I didn't and people told me that I couldn't call a child that - I was talked down from that name and 20 years later still wish I had called him it.

After that I did keep it quiet, and then my niece who was pregnant at the same time announced she was calling her boy the name I had chosen, so I was then stuck for a name.

A few weeks before I was due I watched a Matthew Perry romcom, and that was where I got my name.

With DS2, I was keen on a name and discussed it with my mum,,,,,who then told everyone what the baby was going to be called, which was fine but I changed my mind - he now has that name as a middle name as I felt I had to keep it in there somewhere.

It's a tricky one

I don't get all the secretness around baby names. It just seems daft and precious to me.

Sure people can have a downer on some baby names but so what? Actually someone pointed out something in a potential baby name that we had that would have had rude initials that we didn't spot , so thankfully that was avoided!

Nope, wasn't bothered about it being a secret. Didn't know the sex either time but was happy to let people know what boy and girl names we were pretty set on if they asked.

It's not that exciting to other people. If you've chosen something outlandish they might react negatively, if you've chosen a nice normal name then there's no particular reaction to expect.

We kept both our kids' names, and their sex, quiet, mainly so as to not solicit unwanted opinion on them (both families quite vocal about such things...) but also in case we changed our mind on the name once they were born.

Particularly with names, it's a very subjective thing, and you just can't please everyone, and so it should be your choice. My mother in law made her opinion known with our daughter, ("it's a very plain name"🙄🤨) and my poor brother had my mum telling him she'd had sleepless nights over his choice for his son. (Ever the drama queen, but that's another story.)

They're now all much older and, guess what, it's all fine...

I dont understand the need not to have a name locked in before the baby is born...

We are all different and have different wants and needs.

OP: you're hormonal and overreacting. But its ok, you're allowed to be - you are pregnant. Try and ignore it, the name hasnt changed its still the same

honestly no one will really care as much as you and your husband.

I’d just relax about it….

Honestly no one really cares. We’ve shared the name we like, but it may change! People only ask as they think they’re meant to. It doesn’t matter to them one bit!!

Your DH slipped up, he's only human. Your friends were respectful. You're being very dramatic.

Yes. Didn't want unsolicited opinions on them. People very unlikely to criticise name choice once it's already announced as baby's name. I did actually ask for some specific limited opinions on our proposed name choice for DC3 though but even that was after the birth and we settled on the name formally about a week after.