Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Anyone ever recovered from a "stolen" baby name?

194 replies

bee2121 · 19/10/2024 11:08

I did the biggest mistake of my life by giving a true answer when a co-worker asked what baby names I like. I was caught off gard and I am a terrible liar. She is not going to have children so I was like whatever, better just say it as it is. Unfortunately another co-worker where closer than I though, she walked in just seconds later, my guess is that she overheard us because a few months later she announces she is pregnant and guess what name her baby got? My name!

If it where to be a common name I wouldn't have batted an eyebrow, but knowing she overheard us and the fact that it's a very uncommon name (but still old/classic, not a weird name) makes me believe she "stole" it.

I know the fault is mine for sharing in the first place, but it was hard not to feel a jab in the heart when I heard the name for the first time. She spelled it slightly different but it is pronounced exactly the same. I didn't confront her but man did it sting in my baby-longing heart.

I no longer work there, but I did for about a year after her baby arrived.

Thing is I love this name, it was a name from my heart really. But having someone else reference their kid as that name over and over it just feels so weird naming my own that name. I love names that are somewhat unique (but not weird, I'm not that tragedeigh mom!) and probably couldn't name a baby something really common. It's like I want them to have their "own" name that no one else has, at least not someone we know.

Did this happen to anyone else? I wonder if it's possible to overcome this feeling or if the name is "ruined" forever for me? It feels like it's ruined but I don't want it to be.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
KateDelRick · 19/10/2024 18:00

@Pinkelephant66 - I'm not sure, it doesn't seem like she's pregnant, so it could be all about future planning. However, by then she could have gone off the name Mason or Albie or whatever it is.

KateDelRick · 19/10/2024 17:59

SunriseMonsters · 19/10/2024 17:54

For claritfy, it was the parents who stabbed each other, not the babies.

The babies were busy chewing toys and gigglingand totally unaware of the pointless drama invented by adults, apparently on their behalf.

I was wondering if the wholesale naming of boys either Teddy or Sonny had possibly driven them to it.

Pinkelephant66 · 19/10/2024 17:59

What’s the name? I am intrigued.

i genuinely could understand if a close family member or friend did this but a colleague?? Who you don’t even work with anymore??

if there are other people called it (which presumably there are) then why does it matter? From what you’ve said it’s not a one of a kind name.

I’m also unsure whether you’re pregnant at the moment or whether you've claimed this name 10 years in advance.

KateDelRick · 19/10/2024 17:58

TheShellBeach · 19/10/2024 17:57

Was it Luckey-Buoy?

I'm still annoyed with MNHQ for deleting the thread about that

😂

KateDelRick · 19/10/2024 17:57

SunriseMonsters · 19/10/2024 17:55

Was it Sonny? That would drive anyone to violence.

That might have made the babies violent themselves in protest, but fortunately not.

Too true.

TheShellBeach · 19/10/2024 17:57

Was it Luckey-Buoy?

I'm still annoyed with MNHQ for deleting the thread about that

SunriseMonsters · 19/10/2024 17:55

Was it Sonny? That would drive anyone to violence.

That might have made the babies violent themselves in protest, but fortunately not.

SilverChampagne · 19/10/2024 17:54

TheShellBeach · 19/10/2024 17:46

Why did you quote the whole OP?

Habit, sorry

SunriseMonsters · 19/10/2024 17:54

For claritfy, it was the parents who stabbed each other, not the babies.

The babies were busy chewing toys and gigglingand totally unaware of the pointless drama invented by adults, apparently on their behalf.

KateDelRick · 19/10/2024 17:53

SunriseMonsters · 19/10/2024 17:52

Something that nobody could ever be expected to endure.

<hhuuuugggggs>

Only last week there was a stabbing incident here caused by similar behaviour. Two children who lived in one street (can you believe it?) with the same first name!

Was it Sonny? That would drive anyone to violence.

SunriseMonsters · 19/10/2024 17:52

Something that nobody could ever be expected to endure.

<hhuuuugggggs>

Only last week there was a stabbing incident here caused by similar behaviour. Two children who lived in one street (can you believe it?) with the same first name!

TheShellBeach · 19/10/2024 17:46

SilverChampagne · 19/10/2024 17:34

So you don’t even have children, and you’re struggling to “recover” from the fact that a former co worker used a name for their child that you like?
Are you actually ok??

Why did you quote the whole OP?

SilverChampagne · 19/10/2024 17:34

bee2121 · 19/10/2024 11:08

I did the biggest mistake of my life by giving a true answer when a co-worker asked what baby names I like. I was caught off gard and I am a terrible liar. She is not going to have children so I was like whatever, better just say it as it is. Unfortunately another co-worker where closer than I though, she walked in just seconds later, my guess is that she overheard us because a few months later she announces she is pregnant and guess what name her baby got? My name!

If it where to be a common name I wouldn't have batted an eyebrow, but knowing she overheard us and the fact that it's a very uncommon name (but still old/classic, not a weird name) makes me believe she "stole" it.

I know the fault is mine for sharing in the first place, but it was hard not to feel a jab in the heart when I heard the name for the first time. She spelled it slightly different but it is pronounced exactly the same. I didn't confront her but man did it sting in my baby-longing heart.

I no longer work there, but I did for about a year after her baby arrived.

Thing is I love this name, it was a name from my heart really. But having someone else reference their kid as that name over and over it just feels so weird naming my own that name. I love names that are somewhat unique (but not weird, I'm not that tragedeigh mom!) and probably couldn't name a baby something really common. It's like I want them to have their "own" name that no one else has, at least not someone we know.

Did this happen to anyone else? I wonder if it's possible to overcome this feeling or if the name is "ruined" forever for me? It feels like it's ruined but I don't want it to be.

So you don’t even have children, and you’re struggling to “recover” from the fact that a former co worker used a name for their child that you like?
Are you actually ok??

KateDelRick · 19/10/2024 17:26

ZoeCM · 19/10/2024 17:25

Laugh all your like, but you'd be surprised by the number of serial killers whose origin stories are identical to the scenario outlined by the OP.

😂😂

ZoeCM · 19/10/2024 17:25

Laugh all your like, but you'd be surprised by the number of serial killers whose origin stories are identical to the scenario outlined by the OP.

Maddy70 · 19/10/2024 17:23

Don't be ridiculous it isn't your name. It's a name. My bf called her son the same name as I was going to give mine. I was a little peeved if im honest but now we just have two Sam's

Amityhill · 19/10/2024 17:17

one of my best friends and I both love a two boys names, we were chatting the other day and we said we’d probably end up calling our hypothetical boys the same name.
a complete non issue.
anyone who gets upset about a name needs to get a grip.

holjam · 19/10/2024 17:13

You don't "own" a name so it wasn't anyone's to steal.
You're being ridiculous

Fizbosshoes · 19/10/2024 17:10

I had favourite names for both DC before they were born,..but then decided that name didn't suit them so chose something else (with DH)

When the HV called and asked baby's name I told her and she said oh that's the 3rd <DDs name> this week. I was a bit miffed about it...for about 10 minutes! She's got 2 good friends with the same name 😊

FicheSeacht · 19/10/2024 17:04

Seasmoke · 19/10/2024 13:24

my guess is that she overheard us because a few months later she announces she is pregnant and guess what name her baby got? My name!
Our builder called his son after my DH ( unusual spelling and all) because he heard it and liked it. My DH tore down our new Conservatory in the end and had it rebuilt by someone too old to have children. So traumatised was he about the name stealing. He cried every teatime.

He under-reacted. What kind of cold fish is he???

BoleynMemories13 · 19/10/2024 17:01

Oh my goodness, get over yourself! It's entirely possibly the colleague walked in a felt the same pang as you did, thinking oh no she loves the same name as me. She had her baby first and was entitled to use it, even if she had indeed got inspiration from you.

There are no laws that you can't name your baby the same as a (now ex!) colleague, even if it is unusual. You have another colleague as witness that you loved it before her child was named. If you no longer wish to use the name because she got there first, that's entirely your issue.

KateDelRick · 19/10/2024 16:59

Ouncesnow · 19/10/2024 16:55

Not even a co worker, an ex co worker 😂

It's just very strange.

ZoeCM · 19/10/2024 16:57

Unfortunately another co-worker where closer than I though, she walked in just seconds later, my guess is that she overheard us because a few months later she announces she is pregnant and guess what name her baby got? My name!

How do you even know the two incidents were related? They were months apart. You must have heard the name from somewhere in the first place - how do you know your colleague didn't hear it from there as well?

Seriously, the OP's phrasing has to be a contender for the most melodramatic ever on MN. "Recovered"? "Stolen"? "The biggest mistake of my life"?

Ouncesnow · 19/10/2024 16:55

Not even a co worker, an ex co worker 😂

Ponderingwindow · 19/10/2024 16:54

thiswasmeyes · 19/10/2024 11:12

My toxic sister did this to me . We were pregnant just a few weeks apart and messaged a lot about names - we were both having girls I told her I’d chosen a name (first AND middle) she told me her choices (not the same as mine). She had her baby and ‘stole’ my name. I was furious.

Had my baby - called her the name I’d planned . Got birth announcement cards made using the screenshot of our messages so that everyone knew I wasn’t copying her despite my baby being born after hers!

Edited

If I got this baby announcement, it isn’t the mother of the first born baby I would end up thinking was a bit crazy.