Family dont like our name choices

We were going to call dd Toby if she had been a boy. Nice choice! But we didn't tell anyone our name ideas, that's never a good idea - as you've learnt the hard way. Just kept quiet then announced everything once baby born and that's definitely their name.

My daughter didn’t tell anyone what name she had chosen for her child until child was born…and I was her birth partner. Am glad she didn’t, because initially I wasn’t keen for a few seconds but can honestly say I love the name she chose and cannot imagine the child with any other name.
BTW I absolutely love Toby.X

Good job he's not their baby to name, then . Toby is a lovely name. Congratulations!

If you decide to have a second child don't tell anyone your name choices. They are unlikely to comment on the name if the baby is here.
For what it is worth I think Toby is a lovely name

Rookie error giving the name in advance. My SIL wanted to give my niece a really god awful name she charged her mind after her brother took the rip and she realised it would l lead to bullying.

if it’s not my child I always just say ‘oh nice, it really suits him/her’ even if they have gone off their tits and called the kid Pubert or similar. Not my business or fight,

I like Toby.

However, the main point here is - no more sharing this type of information. The name gets announced when baby is born. It's not a possible name at that point, it is baby's name.

At that point the correct reply from everyone is "how lovely."

Having worked with dogs and people over decades-I can assure you that dogs and kids fashions in names often go hand in hand.
Last fifteen years odd the top of my head...

Jack
Rosie
Lily
Bella
Belle
Amber
Sophie
Ben
Harry
Alfie (tons of them)
Archie (ditto above)
Stanley
Charlie
Theo
Billy
Betty
Teddy
Ted
Buddy
Oscar
Kaspar
Willow
Ava
Evie
Dora
Iris
Olive (ia)
Chloe

In the 70's, no man I knew was ever called Fido, or Shep - not sure what's changed there 🤔

Toby is a lovely name, not super common or uncommon.

Ha ha! I had a similar experience. My PIL decided they didn’t like DS1 name so they’d be using his middle name as that was ‘ok’. I called them random names for months until they backed down. He has a pretty standard name (think Oscar) so it’s not like it was made up or offensive. Honestly though I could go on and on about the batshit crazy stuff I had to deal with from them. Grandparents can be very entitled sometimes. They had their time to chose, stop trying to muscle in.

But absolutely do not announce a name until the baby is born

Love Toby. Works with a baby and a grown man. Parents have had their chance to name their own children. Now it's yours-either tell them to butt out, or ignore them.

It’s your choice, not the relatives. I would say you are still thinking about names and once the baby is born use the name you chose.

Nothing wrong with the name Toby.
If you tell people the names before the child is born they think they have time to get you to change their mind if they don't like it.

I like Toby too. It's a good solid name but also cute enough for a baby, and Shakespeare used it.

If you'd said just about any name, they'd be negative about it. That's why you don't tell anyone (apart from MN, who'll give it to you straight ) before you introduce him.

Toby is a fine name OP.

This is why you don't tell anyone your chosen names in advance.

But they will love the baby, so will grow to love the name even if they don't at first hearing.

My mother tried this shit with my kids

I shut her down by saying she'd had her turn with her own children and she wasn't getting a say in my children's names

My brother and his wife then had a baby and she tried to have full say in their choices too

They told her to wind her neck back in
(which she took badly) and refused to tell anyone what his name was until they'd had him

Then my son and his girlfriend fell pregnant-she tried to start,but I'd had a word and warned them,so they shut her down

They chose a name (prefectly normal,not to my taste but not my choice) and she hated it

Bad mouthed the name to everyone about how crap it was (people either put her straight or where too polite to tell her it wasn't her choice)

Baby was born and she suddenly claimed to love it and how she'd helped to choose it!

People are batshit-the only response should be 'oh!that's a lovely name...'

We have a Toby who is 2
It's a lovely name 🥰

People deal with it by not telling people. Not everything need to be announced and discussed publicly. Just like with relationship issues, parenting choices are best kept to yourself as people invited into them form opinions.

If you announce it publicly people will have public opinions, thats just how everything works. You specifically invited them into a conversation and they have it.

It is factually not anyone's name yet, no forms have been completed so people often don't think twice about commenting in a discussion on how they don't like it or wouldn't choose it.

Some will even comment after baby is born and named, however most hold back a bit at that point so it much less unwanted criticism (which will inevitably only hurt your feelings).

My mum was really cross when we chose Thomas (Tom). She wanted Sebastian. It wouldn't have suited him!

This is about YOUR family and your child, first and foremost.
They can like it or lump it.

ThanksHunPenneys

I know I didn't have to discuss it with my family but I wanted to. I didn't like thinking they might hate the name.

@OriginalSkang I really can't say as it's so outing! I think he was the only person with that name born in the UK for several years.
Basically my in-laws are Indian (I'm not) and we chose an Indian name, partly to please them. I chose my favourite Indian name from a website but had no idea the name was a bit out there for Indians. I suppose it's the equivalent of calling a British child River, Forest or Rain. They wanted a more conventional name.

I didn't say I word because my mum would have had an opinion whatever the name, even if I faked her not to she would have given a look or made a face.

But she knows not to do that once the deed is done!

Not much help to you now but my god people are predictable aren't they!

It isn't their business and they should not have commented. Choose the name you like, not what they prefer.