Family dont like our name choices

@abracadabra1980

Fur babies.

Dogs of the past tended to either be working dogs or family pets often named by or with inclusion of the kids. Where as now theres a huge trend for child free adult adopting 'fur babies' and giving them very on trend baby names.

Whats even weirder is debate I have seen surprisingly more than once on where some have/had 'fur baby' then are having actual kids but have 'used up' their all time favorite baby names. They won't use their pets (alive or dead) name again, so they end up settling with a random weirder often more 'pet like' name for their actual kid.

I've been left thinking 'Really? You called your cats Charlie & Bella and you dogs Oliver, Lily & Hugo but your gonna name your actual human kid Meadow?'. It just seems backwards.

It’s a nice name, but why on earth are you sharing names before baby is here? We haven’t told anyone our shortlist, haven’t decided on a name yet and won’t til baby is here safe and well.

I love the name Toby. And it's YOURS and your partner's choice. I don't like my Granddaughter's name. But i have never indicated that (i hope!!) She is not my baby and i do not think name choice is an extended family decision.

Oh I feel your pain! Toby is a lovely name!
My mum was desperate
To name my first child, I had so
Many answerphone messages with suggestions, we'd already chosen her name but didn't share it til she was born. My mum called me after a weekend in labour and an emergency section and just said am
I ALLOWED to know the name now? Really horrible, I said it's Tabitha, and she just said, what about Isabelle ... we've already chosen Tabitha, she tried to get the family to back her, even my dad, divorced my mum years earlier, called and tried to get me to change it, he said I'll call her Beth - I said you bloody won't, you'll call her Tabitha or tabby, Beth is not an option. My mum never apologised, she caused us so much hassle on a day which was amazing for us after 2.5 years TTC, multiple miscarriages and our beautiful perfect baby had arrived ... fucking people piss me off sometimes!

Don't tell anyone. People act strangely when they hear unusual names. I love the name Toby by the way! ❤️

Don’t tell anyone. My friend had picked out names and her mum tried her best to overrule her with her choices. Grandma has had her go at naming babies, she needs to STFU.

It’s a nice name but they will probably be called carvery at some point, secondary school onwards. So many men give each other nicknames, I worked in an almost all male environment for a few years, I ended up with a nickname.

Toby is a lovely name.
I'm sure they will love it once they get used to saying it.
It's not really anyone else's business.

I wouldn't worry about it. We decided on a name for DS and changed our mind once he was born. I couldn't say his name and look at him at the same time because it really didn't suit him. We finally settled on his third name which was chosen by his older sibling.

Toby is a lovely name. Pay them no attention.

Your rookie error was to reveal the name before the birth. People then seem to think that you are putting it up for discussion and you will be on the receiving end of their stupid and unwanted opinions.

Put it down to experience this time, but in the future don't reveal the name before baby has arrived.

It’s a lovely name and a little baby boy would suit that name beautifully.

This advice is no use to you now, but it's best to keep your cards close to your chest when it comes to baby names. Announce the name when the baby arrives, not before.

Toby is a perfectly lovely name imo, fwiw.

Toby is a great name.

Just don’t tell people. When we were thrashing out baby name ideas, family members had strong views on some of them. It wasn’t remotely helpful. They started making suggestions within days of hearing about my pregnancy.

We ended up telling people a particular boy and girl name that we would never use in a million years when they asked, just to shut the conversation down.

Cecil and Bathsheba, I thank you for your service!

Perhaps you could pretend that you are going to call him a really awful name, so they are relieved when you go for Toby!

Toby is fine.

I disagree with "never tell people the name." I think you have much higher chances of ending up with name regret if you never hear anyone's reactions, or miss the opportunity to have someone point out a reason why the name is a bad idea.

I'm one of those that felt picking a name before you meet them is strange. We had a list of names but didn't choose until they were born.

I know right. It was after our favourite film Leon/the professional. DS is called Ash (from Ash and the evil dead) which we love more then the name Leon so it's all fine. Annoyingly I don't think I've ever met a single Leon, chavvy or otherwise.

We gave fake names when expecting our babies. We made them so nutty and out there, that not one single person had a word to say after the birth, when the real names came out. I think they were all relieved 😂

Toby is a lovely name. You should never tell anyone your name choice until the baby is born though. You have learned this the hard way!

Like a pp suggestion of double bluff. Say you have take criticism on board so you have dropped Toby and the baby of a boy will be named Shaney-Gary.

Yep, as others have said - it’s always a bad idea to tell people before baby’s actually here. But with Toby having been in the Top 100 for at least 30 years, you know you don’t have much to worry about in reality (outside of family opinions!). A name like Toby isn’t going to cause him any ridicule, is easy to say and spell etc.

Even if it’s not their personal taste (for myself I prefer Tobias as I’m not usually very keen on “ee” ending names), with a reasonably popular name like Toby most people you meet once he’s actually born are going to be ambivalent about it at worst and like it a lot at best (otherwise it wouldn’t be popular!)

They had their own opportunity to name their children. You’re the one carrying YOUR baby and you’ll be the ones doing all the hard work. Don’t change the name of your baby to suit others’ preferences.

@Cerialkiller I adore the name Leon it's a good solid strong name.

That was always the narrative when I was a child and I have no reason to doubt it. It wasn't that unusual a practice in that place and time and it would have been expected within the extended family and difficult to rebel against. It's likely that Mum's first name was also chosen by her mother's mother.

I’m not a fan of my grand daughter’s name but the clue is that it’s not my child to name! I just love her!

I've said it before and I'll say it again - there should be a warning on pregnancy testing kit boxes, that strongly advises against discussing babies names with anyone other than your partner, until the baby is born.

For now, just say we're having a pause about thinking of names for a while, just close down any discussion.