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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

How to name a baby with a difficult surname?

87 replies

BlackLantern · 02/10/2024 08:47

So the name we like just rhymes with our surname and I think it will always sound silly. So many names we can’t use due to the sound and layout of the surname. Do we just suck it up and give them a rhyming first/second name and acknowledge it’s always going to be an issue whatever we pick or pick something that works and we don’t love as a name?

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Original poster
BlackLantern · 05/10/2024 21:57

@Catandsquirrel i don’t want a rhyming name for rhyming s sake. There are a lot of issues and names we can’t use due to sylllable flow/sounds. So wondering if something that we like is fine as the surname will always be an issue no matter what name we put with it. Even the most innocuous name will always have issues with the surname.

OP posts:
KirstenBlest · 04/10/2024 20:03

everyone I know with a double-barrelled surname uses 'both'
Everybody you know. I know some who do and some who don't. The ones who do tend to have very ordinary first names and last surname, something like John/Jane/Oliver/Olivia Smith.

Very few of the people I know with hyphenated first names use both. None of the men seem to.
Even little ones who are Lily-Rose or Ellie-May tend to be Lily or Ellie when they've started school.

nmnmn · 04/10/2024 14:31

KirstenBlest · 04/10/2024 09:59

Please don't. The second name gets dropped, and it looks so naff.

Benjamin-James Murray-Penn will be Ben Penn in daily life anyway.

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That's a poor, atypical example. Think Ellie-Mae. And everyone I know with a double-barrelled surname uses 'both' in daily life considering it's a whole, new surname created out of two.

Catandsquirrel · 04/10/2024 10:04

It's unclear whether you like a rhyming name or just have an unusual surname. If you like a rhyming name, pick something different. If it's just a distinctive surname, do the best you can with it thinking of the child, not what you like. How do you and your husband's names work?

Are you saying one syllable and strong sounding? That's fine, just pick anything that doesn't rhyme. The child may not want to 'own' a rhyming name.

KirstenBlest · 04/10/2024 09:59

nmnmn · 04/10/2024 06:40

Hyphenate the first name?

Please don't. The second name gets dropped, and it looks so naff.

Benjamin-James Murray-Penn will be Ben Penn in daily life anyway.

nmnmn · 04/10/2024 06:40

Hyphenate the first name?

EdgeOfSixty · 04/10/2024 00:24

Something like Jenny Penney?

KindOf · 03/10/2024 23:07

SoupDragon · 03/10/2024 22:42

Unhelpful when the OP says "our surname"

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That doesn’t mean the OP was magically born with her DH’s surname. She can give their offspring her birth surname and they can call the child any or all of the names they love but are apparently debarred from by their surname.

In fairness, I think the OP should be commended for acknowledging her husband’s surname is ‘difficult’, but she apparently didn’t let that deter her from changing her name to it. Mn is full of women claiming their birth surname was awful and/or inconveniently difficult to spell, so they were dying to change it to their DH’s miraculously lovely, easy to spell one.

IamnotwhouthinkIam · 03/10/2024 22:56

Nah I think some rhyming names can completely work - your example of Jack Black is a good one, as it sounds memorable and strong to me. An off- rhyme/similar ending sound like Max Hicks or something might be also sound strong rather than silly.

Sorry to be unhelpful but it’s really going to depend on the name. Plus somehow a very commonplace name (like Jack or Max) that happens to rhyme with the surname is going to seem very different to an uncommon one which looks more like you’ve done it in order to stand out iykwim?

SoupDragon · 03/10/2024 22:42

KindOf · 03/10/2024 22:39

Exactly.

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Unhelpful when the OP says "our surname"

KindOf · 03/10/2024 22:39

unmemorableusername · 02/10/2024 12:11

Use your surname.

Exactly.

Original poster
BlackLantern · 03/10/2024 22:36

Unfortunately whatever name we use, even if the most mainstream boring sounding name, the surname still stands out, so thought trying to “own” it might help.

OP posts:
JingsMahBucket · 03/10/2024 17:34

BobbyDazzler11 · 03/10/2024 13:40

Not defending the poster but she said DS school? Not her students

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@BobbyDazzler11 actually, you’re correct. Thanks for that correction. The rest of my post stands though.

redtrain123 · 03/10/2024 16:54

Maybe look at other relative names, grandparents, great gp etc to see if there’s any inspiration there?

Catandsquirrel · 03/10/2024 16:51

Jim Pym

CreationNat1on · 03/10/2024 15:59

Sally Nally?

No, don't do it to the child.

Thingsthatgo · 03/10/2024 15:47

When I was at school we had a science lab technician called Patricia Fish. Know to everyone as Trish Fish the Lab techish!

KirstenBlest · 03/10/2024 15:29

@QuickTraybake , is probably not racist or xenophobic, but didn't know it was an established Nigerian name.
I guessed it might be, so I looked it up.

There are so many different names out there, not everybody is likely to be familiar with all of them.

Original poster
BlackLantern · 03/10/2024 15:23

Babbahabba · 02/10/2024 21:07

Don't give them a rhyming name. Also make sure their first name is spelt the standard way. I have a difficult foreign surname and parents gave me a common easy forename but spelt it a very non standard spelling so I go through life spelling them both 🙄

I have spent my life spelling my first name and surname and it’s honestly not an issue, my name is what it is and it’s from my origins so not usual and it’s never been a hardship having to spell it.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlackLantern · 03/10/2024 15:22

Not double barrelling or changing the surname, wish we had done it when we got married but too late now.

OP posts:
KirstenBlest · 03/10/2024 15:06

Double-barrelling the surname won't help. The first of the two surnames often gets dropped.

Gothamcity · 03/10/2024 14:44

BlackLantern · 02/10/2024 08:54

@ACynicalDad the trouble is worse when it’s shortened. So a 3 syllable first name and one syllable surname becomes completely rhyming with one syllable first and second. Trying to think of an example…….

Like Ben/Benjamin Ten 😄

Catandsquirrel · 03/10/2024 14:43

OP could you just go for your favourite as a middle name and a classic/ one you quite like as a first name? Say Robert Benjamin Penn or Alexander John Donne. I think that's absolutely fine.

GPNightmare · 03/10/2024 14:36

2chocolateoranges · 02/10/2024 09:50

We had the same problem, our favourite name rhymed with our surname and it was just too much. For example, Celine Green, Zac Black or Abigail Dale.

we had to find another name we liked, we just couldn’t do that to our child.

I don’t think any of those examples are too bad.

I think it depends on the first name. Celine Green and Abigail Dale don’t seem as bad as Max Wax because the spelling is different and no one is ever going to shorten them to Line Green or Gail Dale but Zachary Black is almost definitely going to end up as Zac Black. Christopher Diss is fine if you use Kit as a shortening before anyone starts calling him Chris.

nmnmn · 03/10/2024 14:33

Change surnames. Double-barrel.

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