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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Friend and I want to use the same name

81 replies

GoldenNuggets08 · 01/09/2024 09:13

So my friend and I are due the same time. She will more than likely give birth first, elective section so will be brought in before 39 weeks.

Here's the thing. Myself and OH have agreed on a name for our baby. It is a family name in memory of someone close to us and has been used for a few generations.

This is a name I know is on my friends shortlist, although she hasn't fully decided what she'll call her baby until it's born. How do I deal with this situation?

I know nobody owns a name but I also think this is a situation where we both can't use the same name as they will be so close in age.

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Werweisswohin · 01/09/2024 09:20

Mention that one of her shortlist names is the name you've decided on, laugh about it, then both choose whatever name you like. Nobody has more right to a name choice.

Original poster
GoldenNuggets08 · 01/09/2024 09:20

I know it's on her shortlist. She knows its on my shortlist. I'm just not sure how high up on her list it is! And she doesn't know that we have fully decided on it! We have it picked a while now but I still didn't want to say it's "thee name" just incase we (or my indecisive DH) did change our mind.

No I definitely wouldn't tell her she couldn't use it. I suppose I could just say we've picked a name. It's so awkward.

OP posts:
Littleme2023 · 01/09/2024 09:18

I would just tell her that you are absolutely set on the name for your baby. If she mentions it’s on her list just say “oh how cute that they could both have the same name” which subtly lets her know that regardless of if she uses it, you will be using it too.

Then it’s up to her.

xx

StTola · 01/09/2024 09:18

Your only choice is what you call your own baby. What someone else goes with is out of your hands.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 01/09/2024 09:17

You use the name you want and she uses the name she wants. If your babies both end up having the same name, so what?

Does she know you've had the name picked out for ages? If not, you might want to tell her so she's forewarned. But it seems odd for you to know what's on her shortlist if she doesn't know what you've chosen.

YouveGotAFastCar · 01/09/2024 09:15

I’m not sure you can. I think all you can do is tell your friend that you’re decided on X name; and see if she mentions that it’s already on her shortlist. At least that way she knows.

It may not bother her, so you may end up with the same name, but if you’re set on it, that’s a risk you’ll have to take. You have the option of having a back up name, incase she does use yours, but you don’t have the option of telling her she can’t use it.