Friend and I want to use the same name

Brilliant news. Bet you are glad there is a resolution. What was her take on it?

It's only an issue and awkward if you make it so. A conversation that goes "I know Arthur is on your shortlist, it's our top name as well. Not 100% going to be that but there's a good chance so they might have the same name" isn't awkward. Just factual and entirely non-confrontational.

I also think this is a situation where we both can't use the same name as they will be so close in age

It might not be ideal for you, but you definitely can use the same name.
One of my best friends plus my sister in law have the same name as me.
Our mothers didn't know each other. It just happens. It's not going to matter in the grand scheme of things.

Pleased you had the talk with your friend and all is OK, OP. Definitely think that was the best course of action..... you already said it wouldn't bother you and now she can make a decision based on whether it bothers her - that bit is out of your hands.

When i had my first born in 2020, I was on this local zoom antenatal group (thanks covid) with only 5 couples in it, we kept in touch with a WhatsApp group afterwards. Anyway, we had a name picked already for our daughter (Turkish name as DH is Turkish so pretty unusual in the UK). Another couple in the group gave birth first and announced their daughters name and I couldn't believe it when it was an almost identical name (first letter E vs A but basically the same name). It turned out that spelled with an E, it was also a French name and the mum was French! What are the chances out of only 5 babies 🤣
As ridiculous as it sounds as I never even met these people in real life, I panicked that it would look like we were copying as she gave birth first! I think I included something in my congratulations message about the name and how it was similar to the Turkish name we were going to pick for our daughter.
Of course, it was fine, but I understand the concern when it's a close friend

Once a name has been used by your inner circle, it would be very strange to use it again for the same generation. It would be even more odd to use it for a child almost the same exact age.

Really? At one point it felt like every one of my friends had a baby Alex.

Does it matter if it is the same name?

I've known cousins with the same name and I have come across a blended family that ended up calling the children, 'Mark 1' and 'Mark 2'.

There are 3 Kian's and 2 Rian's in my child's class at school, everyone knows which one is which and nothing bad has happened yet. Honestly, you'll be fine. Presumably your friend is aware of the 'dilemma' you're in? Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and don't waste time on worrying about silly things.

Just tell her that you've decided on the name "James" and then it is upto her to decide if she wants to name her baby that.

We have friends whose daughter has the same name.
We didn’t discuss names and neither us knew what we were having. I had my daughter first and named her. Our friends didn’t say anything at the time, a month they also had a girl and named her the same.

It didn’t bother us, it was a special name to them and I didn’t know - whether they said something sooner I may have changed my daughters name I don’t know. 15 years on no problems.

Totally agree with Littleme2023

"I would just tell her that you are absolutely set on the name for your baby. If she mentions it’s on her list just say “oh how cute that they could both have the same name” which subtly lets her know that regardless of if she uses it, you will be using it too.

Then it’s up to her."

This happened to me, we both chose the same name. When I told my friend, he didn't say anything, but they called their child that, and so did I. No problems.

"If your good friend uses the name, I think you need to pick another name. Babies are named in order of birth. Once a name has been used by your inner circle, it would
be very strange to use it again for the same generation."

Oh give over 🤣 "inner circle" Just tell her, "we're pretty much decided on calling him Paul"

It's not awkward, just be a grown up and say what you've said on here

I would quickly book an induction so that you can get in first!

Seriously, I am glad you spoke to her and sorted it out.

If your good friend uses the name, I think you need to pick another name. Babies are named in order of birth. Once a name has been used by your inner circle, it would
be very strange to use it again for the same generation. It would be even more odd to use it for a child almost the same exact age.

if I was your friend and you copied my child’s name, I would be irked. Probably not enough to destroy the friendship, but it would strain things.

Is it Ava? (Or maybe Isla?) Because go ahead. Every kid in the UK is called a variation of this. So no dramas. They’ll be 6 others in your class. Minimum. Including the teacher and TA probably…

Firstly I'm presuming you've spoken to her about this but don't see any problem anyway.

I wouldn't tell her the name I've picked.
It immediately then becomes a forbidden fruit.
She might not choose it from her list.
But - as is human nature - as soon as you say you're using it, she'll want to use it.
Wait it out and see.
You can use the same name in any case.
A friend went and asked my permission for using the same name. I told her not to be so daft. It made no difference to me whatsoever and was quite sweet they shared it.

My friend had a baby 2 months before me, we both chose the same name. I had chosen this name before I knew what my friend intended to call her baby. Never occurred to me to alter my choice. My DD is now an adult and I am no longer in touch with my friend from years ago. Choose the name you like doesn't matter what your friend calls her child

Used to be part of a very close group of 4 friends. We all had baby boys born around the same time. 2 of the boys had the same name - it wasn't an issue....

It only is if you make it so. I had this with my friend. I was due first and actually used another name as it fitted the baby better. She used the name. If I have another baby it fitted better, I would still use it.

Honestly depending on the name it's more than likely there will be multiple of them in the world, maybe even in their class or immediate friendship circle. Wouldn't not choose a name because someone else close by has it, in a few years time this just won't feel as big as it does right now.