Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Friend and I want to use the same name

81 replies

GoldenNuggets08 · 01/09/2024 09:13

So my friend and I are due the same time. She will more than likely give birth first, elective section so will be brought in before 39 weeks.

Here's the thing. Myself and OH have agreed on a name for our baby. It is a family name in memory of someone close to us and has been used for a few generations.

This is a name I know is on my friends shortlist, although she hasn't fully decided what she'll call her baby until it's born. How do I deal with this situation?

I know nobody owns a name but I also think this is a situation where we both can't use the same name as they will be so close in age.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
pinkyredrose · 08/09/2024 16:13

GoldenNuggets08 · 01/09/2024 09:13

So my friend and I are due the same time. She will more than likely give birth first, elective section so will be brought in before 39 weeks.

Here's the thing. Myself and OH have agreed on a name for our baby. It is a family name in memory of someone close to us and has been used for a few generations.

This is a name I know is on my friends shortlist, although she hasn't fully decided what she'll call her baby until it's born. How do I deal with this situation?

I know nobody owns a name but I also think this is a situation where we both can't use the same name as they will be so close in age.

Call the baby the name you've decided. Why would you do anything else?

Copperoliverbear · 08/09/2024 15:59

I would just mention it I know ? Is on your shortlist but just to let you know we are 100% using it and state your reasons. X

DappledThings · 08/09/2024 15:49

Manthide · 08/09/2024 13:34

My cousin's half brother has the same name as him and they're fine with it.

Show quote history

This happened to an old boss of mine except the half-brother was a secret only revealed when the father was dying. The two sons were only 6 months apart and had the same name.

Manthide · 08/09/2024 15:31

sel2223 · 08/09/2024 15:20

Wait, what? So one of the parents named two of their own children the same name?
Why would you?

(Although just learning about George Foreman, maybe it's just me 🤣)

Edited
Show quote history

Yes, his father had 2 sons with different partners 10 years apart (my cousin was the elder) and called them the same name (not his name). They didn't meet until they were adults.

sel2223 · 08/09/2024 15:20

Manthide · 08/09/2024 13:34

My cousin's half brother has the same name as him and they're fine with it.

Show quote history

Wait, what? So one of the parents named two of their own children the same name?
Why would you?

(Although just learning about George Foreman, maybe it's just me 🤣)

sel2223 · 08/09/2024 15:18

worrisomeasset · 08/09/2024 14:57

George Foreman (of boxing and grill fame) has 5 sons and they’re all called George. They also all have the same middle name.

I just had to Google that as it sounded so ridiculous but he really does!!! Omg! And a daughter called Georgetta 🙈

worrisomeasset · 08/09/2024 14:57

George Foreman (of boxing and grill fame) has 5 sons and they’re all called George. They also all have the same middle name.

Manthide · 08/09/2024 13:34

sashh · 06/09/2024 07:20

Does it matter if it is the same name?

I've known cousins with the same name and I have come across a blended family that ended up calling the children, 'Mark 1' and 'Mark 2'.

My cousin's half brother has the same name as him and they're fine with it.

Original poster
GoldenNuggets08 · 08/09/2024 11:26

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 08/09/2024 10:43

Good result OP! Much more adult approach than a frigging personalised baby blanket!

(I hate personalised items anyway because then WTF do you do with them once you're done with them?)

Show quote history

I agree. I think the FB post thing comes across as a bit bitchy if I'm honest. I think it would be very obvious to her what I was doing! 🙈

OP posts:
MissScarletInTheBallroom · 08/09/2024 10:43

GoldenNuggets08 · 07/09/2024 20:44

We met for lunch and I told her. She was super chill about it all! She said they weren't close to fully deciding on a name at all. She text me later that evening after chatting with her OH that they have taken the name off their list. It wasn't a top name for them, they weren't fully sure on it and have names they prefer so they have just removed it altogether. All is good!

Show quote history

Good result OP! Much more adult approach than a frigging personalised baby blanket!

(I hate personalised items anyway because then WTF do you do with them once you're done with them?)

BirthdayRainbow · 07/09/2024 20:47

In my group one had her baby before me and used the name I had picked. For a stupid moment I thought it meant I couldn't use the name. I still did and I never saw her past the babies being seven months. Use the name.

Original poster
GoldenNuggets08 · 07/09/2024 20:47

I feel much better that I spoke to her in advance. You just never know what might cause offence to some people so was better to chat about it! Thanks for the advice all!!

OP posts:
sel2223 · 07/09/2024 20:45

GoldenNuggets08 · 07/09/2024 20:44

We met for lunch and I told her. She was super chill about it all! She said they weren't close to fully deciding on a name at all. She text me later that evening after chatting with her OH that they have taken the name off their list. It wasn't a top name for them, they weren't fully sure on it and have names they prefer so they have just removed it altogether. All is good!

Show quote history

That's great - perfect outcome. You definitely did the right thing OP

Original poster
GoldenNuggets08 · 07/09/2024 20:44

LetItGoHome · 06/09/2024 07:54

Brilliant news. Bet you are glad there is a resolution. What was her take on it?

Show quote history

We met for lunch and I told her. She was super chill about it all! She said they weren't close to fully deciding on a name at all. She text me later that evening after chatting with her OH that they have taken the name off their list. It wasn't a top name for them, they weren't fully sure on it and have names they prefer so they have just removed it altogether. All is good!

OP posts:
Original poster
GoldenNuggets08 · 07/09/2024 20:38

Teeny1977 · 07/09/2024 19:43

I would order an Blanket with the name on it, post on social media X weeks until we get to cuddle you all snug in your blanket, or if you don’t want to tell everyone just send her a pic and say your so happy with it for (insert baby name)

Oh God there's no way I would do this! 😅 I don't want anyone to know the name until they are born! I also think it could potentially lead to her being annoyed because I KNOW the name is on her list!

OP posts:
Teeny1977 · 07/09/2024 19:43

I would order an Blanket with the name on it, post on social media X weeks until we get to cuddle you all snug in your blanket, or if you don’t want to tell everyone just send her a pic and say your so happy with it for (insert baby name)

Mabs49 · 06/09/2024 11:59

You or she might move away and barely see each other again for many years. I wouldn’t ever not name my child the name I like because right here, right now, a friend is thinking of the same name. Life is far too curve ball to think life is so set in stone in such unstinting quantities.

It’s rather sweet if they both end up with the same name.

DappledThings · 06/09/2024 11:50

MummaBear1977 · 06/09/2024 11:36

Announce on Facebook asap that you can’t wait for baby (chosen name) to arrive and you’re looking forward to keeping the memory of (family member) alive in your own child’s name.
Once it’s out there for everyone to see, they will be copying you and that’s their choice.

Why do something like that and be so pointlessly antagonistic about it? When a quick chat like a normal human being would sort it. As OP has already confirmed.

It was already not actually an issue. This ridiculous advice would just needlessly blow it up into an ever bigger issue.

MummaBear1977 · 06/09/2024 11:36

Announce on Facebook asap that you can’t wait for baby (chosen name) to arrive and you’re looking forward to keeping the memory of (family member) alive in your own child’s name.
Once it’s out there for everyone to see, they will be copying you and that’s their choice.

Mamabear487 · 06/09/2024 09:39

Who cares! If your close friends it really doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if you’re not either. Have you told her you plan on definitely calling your child that name? I’m sure she wouldn’t use it if you’ve mentioned it to her anyway. But it doesn’t matter either way in the grand scheme of things

DecafDodger · 06/09/2024 08:15

Friend of mine has a DC with the same name as mine, they were born 2 weeks apart. She asked if I minded, I said of course not. It's not like I was using an entirely new name that I personally make up just for my DC. I think it's really cute they are called the same.

OMGitsnotgood · 06/09/2024 08:12

Tell her you've decided that is going to be the name. That might be enough for her to discount it.

If not, it isn't the end of the world. My parents' best friends called their son the same name as my brother a month later and it's never been an issue.

Kelly51 · 06/09/2024 08:10

TBH, if it's a family name, I'd use it as a middle name and give your baby some originality.

Emily1583 · 06/09/2024 08:01

It's just a name. Why can't you both just choose the same name if both sets of parents like the name?

caringcarer · 06/09/2024 07:56

I don't see an issue with 2 babies having the same name.