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Baby names

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Original poster

Would you use this name in this circumstance?

35 replies

NameNC · 07/04/2024 09:47

Name changed because this is clearly pretty identifying.

DH and I are expecting a baby later in the year.

One of my favourite names for a boy has always been Evan, since I was in my early 20s.

I was married briefly to an awful Man with the surname Evans. I took his name as it was a vast improvement on my maiden name so I was Evans myself for about 8 years or so, before I married again.

Evan goes nicely with our surname and options for middle name, DH knows but doesn't have an issue with the similarity to my ex's / my old surname, but I worry that people who know my history would pick up on the connection and think it strange, or worse some kind of bizarre tribute?

We're really struggling to find a name we both love and this it feels like another one with a barrier to it, but I don't know if I've invented this barrier!

Thanks in advance!

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fightingthedogforadonut · 07/04/2024 20:05

I wouldn't tbh.

Ewan
Ivan
Owen
Ivor
are all lovely alternatives

Amazinggrace89 · 07/04/2024 19:55

I don’t think you can use it sorry

BoleynMemories13 · 07/04/2024 18:56

It would be a huge no for me but I'm not you. Personally, association has a massive affect on my like or dislike of a name but clearly you can see past the association if you're still strongly considering it. So I'm guessing you're asking as you're concerned what others will think? I can't lie, if I knew you I would find it a very strange choice, but I'd never say it to your face. Whether anyone says anything or not, I think you will raise eyebrows yes. Depends how much that bothers you?

Ethan, Ivan or Euan are all nice alternatives.

Original poster
NameNC · 07/04/2024 18:45

Kastri · 07/04/2024 18:19

Would you not inevitably think of your ex husband every time you used it?
I wouldn't want it personally.

I'd (unfortunately) think of my ex-husband when I heard his first name, although it's a very common first name for our age group so I'd very quickly think of the other 5+ of them I know too.

Funnily enough my DH suggested his nationalities' version of my ex's first name the other day. That was an immediate and hard no from me.

When I hear Evan I think of the old friend (called Evan) that originally inspired my love of it as a first name.

OP posts:
Evanandjoesmum · 07/04/2024 18:26

I've got an Evan; it's a great name for a lad. He's 16 now and brilliant. If you can't use the name, don't go for a pale imitation like Ewan or Ethan as you'll always know they're not what you wanted!

My Evan was nearly Aidan, and his younger brother is Jonas in case either of these work for you! Congratulations on your baby.

Kastri · 07/04/2024 18:19

Would you not inevitably think of your ex husband every time you used it?
I wouldn't want it personally.

Floralnomad · 07/04/2024 18:13

I wouldn’t use it .

CultOfTheAirFryer · 07/04/2024 18:11

I really wouldn’t.

WitcheryDivine · 07/04/2024 16:56

And if he was an awful man all the more reason not to make that link.

WitcheryDivine · 07/04/2024 16:55

Sorry but I don’t think you should, it’s hard to keep up with people’s surnames and you’re on your third so there’s bound to be some people in your life who have forgotten you’ve changed again and will think the baby is called Evan Evans or at least not be able to shake that idea. I have a friend who’s son has his dad’s name but it was a fairly short lived relationship so I always fail to remember his surname and the combo with her old surname is quite funny (along the lines of Stu Dumplings).

It also does seem like a weird tribute. It’s a bugger but that’s the way it is.

SkaneTos · 07/04/2024 16:34

Use the name Evan.

You write this

  • One of my favourite names for a boy has always been Evan, since I was in my early 20s
  • Evan goes nicely with our surname and options for middle name
  • DH knows but doesn't have an issue with the similarity to my ex's / my old surname
  • I've had a really positive association with the name Evan since long before I met my ex

Use the name Evan. It's a great name.
If someone has an opinion about it, it says more about them than about you.

FlatWhite2 · 07/04/2024 16:32

I think it’s a bit strange from an outsiders perspective but like you say, your actual friends and family know the situation and would probably see it’s literally just that you liked the name and it has nothing to do with your ex. If you really love it go for it, at worst it’ll be a little strange to people you sort of know & they’ll get over it in 5 minutes. However if any part of you thinks you’ll regret it, try and put yourself off it.

RuthW · 07/04/2024 15:56

Just use it, it's fine

StealthMama · 07/04/2024 15:27

I don't think it matters. I'd use it, it's a good name.

Anyone who does think it's weird can get over it, frankly.

ginasevern · 07/04/2024 12:37

I'd go for it. In years to come (and they go by quicker than you think) people won't know the connection or will have forgotten. They will also get used to your son just being "Evan" in his own right, if that makes sense.

Original poster
NameNC · 07/04/2024 12:28

Marcipex · 07/04/2024 12:22

I think it sounds as if you have feelings for your ex, or even as if he’s the father.
I mean, people might easily think that.

There must be something else…Euan, Eden, Iain.

To clarify again, no. If that was suggested to any real world friends or family they'd laugh you out of the room, the idea is so patently absurd.

Thanks for the alternative suggestions but I've had a really positive association with the name Evan since long before I met my ex, and it's specific to the name so similar sounding / looking ones just don't have the same draw.

We will continue with our search.

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 07/04/2024 12:24

I think the first time who knew your old name hear it they’d think twice but then move on. Use it

Marcipex · 07/04/2024 12:22

I think it sounds as if you have feelings for your ex, or even as if he’s the father.
I mean, people might easily think that.

There must be something else…Euan, Eden, Iain.

walkerscrispsarethenuts · 07/04/2024 12:16

Ethan?

Original poster
NameNC · 07/04/2024 12:13

MidnightPatrol · 07/04/2024 11:56

I’d probably be wondering who the baby’s dad was TBH.

There are thousands of names you could choose from - surely you can find something else!

Thats a bit of a stretch (a bleakly hilarious one if you actually knew my ex / me in real life, as anyone who made the connection does) but point taken from responses overall.

I feel like we've been through ALL the names at this point and every time we come to one that we both like there's some barrier or other to it (doesn't work with our surname / common nickname doesn't work with our surname / some kind of association to it / someone we know that we wouldn't want to name after / the MN favourite 'far too popular')

It's starting to get me down a bit.

OP posts:
MidnightPatrol · 07/04/2024 11:56

I’d probably be wondering who the baby’s dad was TBH.

There are thousands of names you could choose from - surely you can find something else!

Bigearringsbigsmile · 07/04/2024 11:24

No definitely not

Nicebloomers · 07/04/2024 11:22

I wouldn’t use it. Like a previous poster suggested Euan/ Ewan would be much less problematic and also a nicer name imo.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/04/2024 10:43

Normally I'd say don't mention names to parents etc before baby is here, but with this one I would. Just mention it and gauge the reaction. Even if it's just to clear the discussion before he comes.

Or as pp suggested, what about Ivan? It's much cooler imo

SkaneTos · 07/04/2024 10:31

Not a problem. Use the name Evan if you both like it.

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