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Baby names

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Original poster

Regret not putting maiden name is middle name

64 replies

PinkPomelo · 01/04/2024 08:06

Hi.. I've never posted here before but need support. I didn't put my maiden name as a middle name for my daughter because it is a clear surname and I didn't want there to be confusion about her surname, especially as I plan to keep it in as my surname with my husbands (no hyphen). We've just got her passport and it's become so clear to my I wish I had 😭. I still think it would have been a bit annoying for her growing up but I feel sad I'm not in there. I'm really struggling to change my name to my husbands, but I feel like I have to now to be the same as my daughter. I think I could have just put my name as a middle and not changed my name and felt OK about it.

5 months pp and really over thinking it all. I could change it but she has an irish and a uk passport and it feels like a huge deal to do now.

Kind comments only please.

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PinkPink1 · 01/04/2024 08:42

We hyphenated our baby's surname (mine as the second part). It depends on how your surnames sound together and whether they're too long.

CurlewKate · 01/04/2024 08:41

@CloudsUnderwater "Also why are you “struggling” to change your name to your husband’s? You want to be a family, don’t you? You’re married, so it should be the same anyway."

I've very rarely read such bollocks.

User6761 · 01/04/2024 08:39

If it's important to you then change it. Yes it's a hassle but better and easier to do it now than later. I'm Scottish and traditionally I think it is common here for many people to have a mother's maiden name as their middle name - I don't but I have several friends who do. The middle names are often obvious surnames e.g. something like Nicola MacNeill Ferguson. I like it. Alternatively give your child the same surname as yourself (both names).

Elmeux · 01/04/2024 08:38

I gave my DD my surname as a second middle name for the same reasons you want to. I love my surname and very early into our relationship said I'd always keep it because, you know, it's my name. It took a bit of explaining to both families, even mine who don't quite understand why I won't change it. 2 and a bit years later I have zero regrets. As others have said, change it now while it's easy rather than having to do it via deed poll.

EATmum · 01/04/2024 08:37

It's not being hormonal to want your identity to be part of your child's name. My DDs all have my birth name as an extra middle name. It's important to me, and important to them too. Change it, if that is something meaningful to you.

Anameisaname · 01/04/2024 08:36

I wish I'd done it to be honest. I also have a very surname surname! But wish I'd done it still. Now too late as kids are much older

LiterallyOnFire · 01/04/2024 08:34

You can easily change it in the first year. Do it. Your contribution should be recorded.

CremeEggOverload · 01/04/2024 08:31

My cousin did this. When she divorced the dad it worked out very well indeed

urbanbuddha · 01/04/2024 08:28

I don’t think you are being hormonal. Just change it. It would be a shame to let the name die out completely.

In this country you can easily change the name on their birth certificate within 12 months from the time the birth was registered. Just go along to your local Register Office with her birth certificate. There’s a fee for the certificate to be amended.

I don’t know how you change the Irish birth certificate but it won’t be complicated.

CloudsUnderwater · 01/04/2024 08:17

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Original poster
PinkPomelo · 01/04/2024 08:12

I do think I'm still hormonal. But it's because I'm the last of a line and name will die out when I change it. It would have been nice to keep it somewhere. My husband wasn't that keen so I didn't bother, her name has a lovely ring to it as it is.

OP posts:
CloudsUnderwater · 01/04/2024 08:10

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MidnightPatrol · 01/04/2024 08:10

Then change it!

PoppingTomorrow · 01/04/2024 08:08

it feels like a huge deal to do now.

Much less of a deal than in 5 years

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