Regret not putting maiden name is middle name

Just change it - she’s tiny

Either double barrel your surnames as hers, or use yours as a middle name.

Not a big deal.

Passport has to have correct legal name. We decided to have my surname (I don’t use my married name) as DCs third name.

If you can face the admin then just change it. It's not a big deal, just a faff.

Fwiw though, my DD has her dad's surname as a second middle name and it does cause confusion. We've told the nursery a million times that it's not double barrelled but they still assume it is, and now she's convinced that it's double barrelled too 🙄

We are a family. Married for nearly 30 years.
Husband has his surname. I have my surname. Dc have both.

Sharing a name is neither necessary nor relevant. There is no "should".

If OP wants to have the same name as her child, she can change the child's name to match hers (both surnames), rather than changing her own.

I think you should change it. I have the same surname as my husband but gave all three of my children my maiden name as a middle name. They have a first middle name then my maiden name followed by surname. My maiden name is not feminine at all and can be used as a male first name, although not very common, however it's not made my daughter's names sound strange at all. It's also nice in my family that my two sisters have followed the same naming style so all the cousins have our maiden name as an additional middle name

Change it on the BC now and then update the passports when they come up for renewal.

I think you should change it. I was thinking yesterday how I regret not giving DC my surname too, and they're mid and late teens now, so too late.

Yes a million times regret this, now widow and raising dc on my own and my name is nowhere to be seen. Thought we would get married and I would change names.
So please do it now before it's too late

Totally understand! I'd always planned for DD to have her dad's surname, kinda to his surprise actually and I don't really know my reasons for it that's just always what I was going to do ( on the other hand I've always been adament I'm not changing my name if I ever got married) . People asked if she d be double barrelled and my reaction was absolutely not. Picked her first name, I've never seen the point of a second name unless after a family member so we weren't bothering with that. Come the morning we were heading off to register her and I had a total wobble, can still remember it so clearly, this feeling of sadness that my name wasn't there. Went into DP and told him that I think I want to put my surname as her second name (it's a name that's used as a name and a surname). His reaction was 'well I couldn't understand why your name wasn't in there somewhere to begin with!'
So yes, if its niggling you, add it. It's a bit of annoying paperwork but there's no point in it lurking in back of your head everytime ye go on holidays and you pull out her passport, we mammys carry enough regret and doubt over our decisions around with us as it is!

Just change it. I have a surname as middle name, and my kids have my surname as my middle name.

Another vote for adding it in on the birth certificate. It won’t affect the passports. As for you changing your name, you don’t need to rush if you decide to do it at all. I didn’t change my name on marriage.

I hope you get some help with PND and feel better soon 🌹

It would have been a ridiculous idea
Rubbish. My DC have my surname as a middle name and I’m glad I did it. And I kept my maiden name as well, so I don’t have the same name as my kids and DH, and it has literally never mattered. In fact I don’t even have the same name as myself - I use DH’s name at work to preserve my privacy, and I use my maiden name for everything else.

You can get it changed and not update the passports. That should be fine

But won’t the name die possibly in the next generation, your DD might not have a child or if she does might not use the name in DC’s name

We'll be doing the same for our baby, currently trying to conceive, and I was speaking to my husband about this just yesterday.

If it makes you happy, do it! I'm so proud of my dad and his side of our family, I'm incredibly close to my dad and I'm his only child, I love my name and was feeling so sad I'd never see it again. I'd like that my child will have that side of them recognised in their name. I know it's a faff, but I think you'd be so pleased you did make the change xx ☺️

That's not a legal change. If you just want some symbolism, I suppose so. Seems a bit pointless but if it is significant to you....

Nothing wrong with how you feel at all.

I think it's an outdated concept to 'have' to change your name to your husband's... or indeed that your child should have the father's name.
And regardless of whether your maiden name was your 'dads' name ... it was still yours.

I didn't change my name and our son has a double barrelled surname so we're both in there.

My hubby's relative don't /wont get it and refuse to put both our names for our son... but that's a them problem. Where it matters our son has both our names.

Do what feels right for you ... it's not law and you'll still be family regardless of a name.

Also, keep your own name. I never wanted to change mine at marriage and our three children have his name (not because it's tradition - I'm estranged from my family and I didn't want my children to be searchable using that surname) and it's never ever been an issue. People like the PP like to pretend you're not a proper family or something but that's a load of rubbish.

Why wasn't your husband that keen on having your name in the mix? You could have just had your surname.

How has he been since you've had DD?

Maybe you'd benefit from a visit to your GP to check for PND? It often shows up through name regret.

Double surnames are a bit of a hassle, but it does partly depend on whether it's smith Jones or wrigglesbottom Montgomery.

having just thought about it, I only have one nephew with my family surname, he's currently only 15, if he changes his surname or doesn't have kids (or kids that change their surname) our family name will die with him. It's a bit sad, but not at all unusual.

IF you can't get past this, now is the time to change it, yeah you have the hassle & expense if changing her passports, but that's all. In future it'll be passports plus a whole load of random stuff.

but first a GP visit to check for PND.

‘I’ve rarely read such bollocks’

That’s exactly what I thought 😂

What a weird post. I don't have the same surname as my children or my husband, are we not a family?

OP just change it. If it's something that will niggle at you, just do it. Nobody else will care or notice but it matters to you. It might also be useful if you split up down the line, sad but true.

Just change it, I think it's nice to have both names. Ignore @CloudsUnderwater 's silly post, it's not 'ridiculous' for a child to have both parents' names, and women don't have to change their names when they get married, that's a weird outdated opinion, so there's no 'should' about it.