Regret not putting maiden name is middle name

There’s a UK passport advice line - 0300 222 0000. The Irish embassy could give you all the relevant information.

If it is going to be a bit of a faff and you’ve got a holiday abroad already booked then just change the name when you come back and deal with changing the name on the passports then. Or if you’re travelling on the UK passports change that now and set the process in motion for the Irish one.

@PinkPomelo I think the problem arose because the registration form just had a space for "full name" so we put all four of her names down. Two are clearly "first names" while the others definitely look like "surnames", so it wasn't a crazy assumption, just a badly designed form.

Change it - you won’t regret it 😊 All our children have 4 names - their first name, a middle name, my maiden surname as a middle name, DH’s surname which I also have. They love having both surnames to reflect the blending of both families.

Id prefer names followed the matrilineal line but will settle for this!

(Ignore the hormonal post btw - that’s just bonkers)

Absolutely change it.

Add your name, and just keep your own surname.

It’s not unusual or ‘hormonal’ to want your child to have your name, and it’s not unusual or hormonal not to want to give up your name that you were born with and have lived your life with.

Men generally pass on their names and decline to change their names on marriage without being declared unusual or hormonal.

I have 2 middle names, as does DD.

My sister has 4 middle names after my dad had a compete brain fart. Also not a problem.

Yes. Sadly I think there are some incel type men and trolls on here too. Can usually spot them because they make horrible comments.

Depends what the name is. My mother's maiden name was Stewart which is also obviously a boy's name. So I was given this as my middle name, as was the fashion is 1960s Scotland. All my life people asked what the S stood for and then said "But that's a boy's name".

I often used to pretend the S stood for Susan 😓.

Nope. You can alter the original birth registration in the first year. No need for deeds.

I've read it repeatedly here. On a so-called 'support' site geared mainly toward women.

The 1950s called - they want you back.

DH and I don’t share a surname <shock>
DD has my surname as a middle name <shock>

Have travelled around the world with her on my own since she was a tiny baby and never once had any issue with immigration. Only one place has ever confused her as having 2 surnames and that was very easily sorted by explaining (she’s a teenager now). She loves having a clear link to both sides of her family.

Add your name, OP. Your daughter deserves it.

So many misogynistic assumptions underlying the responses to this thread, @PinkPomelo. I hope you'll overlook these.

Every action made by a pregnant or recently post-partum mum is not dictated by hormones. New mothers are not an irrational mass of unregulated hormones and are perfectly capable of making sane decisions. That you're married also does not mean relinquishing your own family name. If you're struggling to change your own name to that of your husband then the answer is quite simple: don't.

It's worth amending the paperwork to show your own name on your child's passport. I've had no issue with this personally, but judging by others' experience it helps to have your name on your child's passport if you need to leave the country without your partner.

My DH, I, and our DC all have different family names. DH has his, I have mine, and DC has the two, unhyphenated names. We are very much a family unit. Having my own identity doesn't make DH and me any less husband and wife, and DC knows exactly who his parents are.

You're not 'creating issues where there are none': if this is an issue, for you then it's an issue. It would be for me, too. What you will find, as indicated upthread, is that some women out there will go to every effort to put you back into what they see as your box.

Women's identities matter too. When we commit to one partner for life, we don't just 'disappear' - albeit patrilineal naming 'traditions' might make it seem so. The term 'maiden name', incidentally, is awful. Men simply have names which don't denote their sexual status.

Change with deed poll v inexpensive, does not need publishing. Submit the deed poll with the passport application.

Or, save the name for a future son?
My sons both have family surnames, mine and my mothers maiden surname. My daughter had my mothers first name in the middle.

Dont forget your own mum in all this, passing your own surname is fine but it belongs mainly to your dads family line and mums get no look in.

OMG, can't believe women still think like this

My grandmother had her mother's surname as a middle name. I always though that was really cool and very progressive. They came from a very poor (tenant farmer) home. It was a very obvious surname.

It's no hassle having 2 middle names. My two have my surname as a middle name which has made travelling much easier since their other parent buggered off when youngest was 3. They are known by first name last name but use all their names on official forms etc.

It’s never caused any issues for me having one parent’s surname as a middle name.

Both. You show official ID and you stipulate what they're known as.

But you are massively overthinking all of this. Probably because you're a bit down.

Nobody needs to "explain" their name. Your name is whatever name you're given and she won't have to explain it to anyone. Whatever name you give her is fine.

Just do it now and deal with the admin as it comes up.

It isn’t going to cause confusion.

If you want to change the name in your passport in ireland you just supply the new birth cert / marriage cert / whatever cert says that your name has changed.

Seriously OP just crack on and do it, you are overthinking and making far too much of a small thing.

I've never put DDs middle name on documents - bar passport obviously -, to avoid that situation, it's an easy assumption to make.

This.