Having the same baby name as a friend

31 replies

Jaexo · 13/02/2024 22:10

Hi everyone,
I just needed some advice on what to do, if anyone can help. Me and my friend got pregnant around the same time, she found out she was pregnant in April I found out in July, we both decided to find out the gender and we both are having girls.
I’ve had a name I’ve always wanted for a girl, it’s quite rare and I’ve wanted it ever since I’d heard it when I was a little girl, during a conversation a few years ago I’d mentioned the name and she said that she’d always wanted to call her daughter that when she had a daughter too, we had a mutual understanding that if we were to have baby girls they would both have the same name. When we found out we were both having girls so close this remained the case, we were both fine with the other using the name and both our daughters being named the same thing.
The thing is she’s now given birth to her daughter and as much as I love the name and understand that we have a mutual agreement that we can both use the name, it feels strange to name my baby girl the same name. But I’ve always wanted it, for much longer than me and my friend have known each other and there’s no other names I like. I’m due to give birth very soon and already have things with my baby girls name on, how can I stop feeling strange, and like I’ve ‘copied’ my friend even though we’ve both known the entire time our daughters would be named the same thing?

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DancingAgain · 13/02/2024 23:03

If you love it more than any other name, then use it. You’ll regret it in years to come if you don’t. One of my closest friends named her child the same name as our child. She did ask, not that she needed to. I thought it was lovely. Both kids are adults now and are close friends.

Hippee · 13/02/2024 23:00

Use it. It might even create a stronger bond between your DDs. We have DS2 with the same name as a friend's DS. We asked if they minded us using it too (had been one of our choices for DS1, so had kind of been saving it) and they said go ahead. It created a bond between the boys, as they didn't know anyone else with their name. My DD's best friend at nursery had the same name as her. There are 3 girls with the same name in one of the classes at school - they have all gravitated towards each other and become close friends. Do not use a middle name as a main name as one PP suggested. I am know by my middle name and it's a complete ball-ache.

Onelife2024 · 13/02/2024 22:53

Try to imagine how you would feel if you didn’t use it? Would you regret it? Especially when you heard your friend’s daughter with the name that you really wanted for such a long time? If so, I think you have to use it. Is there any way you can differentiate with different short versions when they are together?

Wictc · 13/02/2024 22:28

If you are both fine with it, it will be fine. Your girls aren’t going to live their whole lives in each other’s pockets. It’s only an issue if you haven’t agreed beforehand.

fourhundredandsomething · 13/02/2024 22:26

It will be fine! They will spend less than 1% of their lives in the same room x

ab03 · 13/02/2024 22:25

I wonder if you could pick a middle name that you might actually use to refer to her, it might help you differentiate them in your head (although I doubt this will be a problem for more than a couple of weeks once she's born, she'll be the only one you think about!). The ones that spring to mind are the classic X Louise, X Rose or X May. Depends what the chosen first name is but maybe there are some other less popular options that could work

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