Everyone pronounces our daughter's name wrong

I thought Esme.

@solongandthanksforallthedish , did you mean to sound rude?

Maybe Pheobe and Rueben's names were spelt like that through the paretnts' choice, but they are not the traditional spellings of two old and popular names.

The origins of the words bird and horse aren't relevant to the thread.

That my name is frequently misspelled and that I get rudeness when I correct people is relevant.

Get off your high horse. is rude.

I am the authority on my name. It's my name and I have every right to mind when people get it wrong, or say it's something else, or make an impolite comment about it.

I have a French name with accents and everything It's also the same as an English name with a different spelling. My French family were really particular about the pronunciation but I couldn't give a fuck and most people don't even know so use the English.

I was going to use the name Lilla (like Lilith and Lily but with an ah) but knew it would forever be pronounced Lila (lye-lah) and didn't want to give DD a lifetime of not only having to spell her name as I have but also correct pronunciation for both first and last name so left it.

It really does depend on the name itself for the end decision but I understand why you wouldn't want to post it.

And the word bird used to be 'brid'.

Languages and names change. If someone has named their child Pheobe, then they've chosen to name then Pheobe. To spell it Phoebe would be incorrect. Get off your high horse. (or 'hors' as it used to be spelled.) There is no list of correct names in this country, and people can call themselves what they like. You are not the naming/spelling/pronunciation authority. No one is.

It's about respecting others.

@solongandthanksforallthedish , some parents do spell the name incorrectly.
Look at how many Pheobes and Ruebens get registered.

The sort of comments I get are 'I know how to spell it!' (they don't)
or 'Why do you say your name is - when it's really - '?' (think something like Christabel and Christine)

It drives me mad!! There is one particular relative who always smirks as he tells me how wrong I am

Honestly, the confidence of some people that their particular view on the world is the correct one. The nerve required to tell a parent their spelled their own child's name wrong.

@Ceàrdaman , the correcting gets very tedious, and most will not not get it right anyway, and some will be downright rude.

We have the same With our youngest daughter. To be honest it's not been too much of an issue, I just correct people the first time and then they remember how to pronounce it usually. What is annoying is when people tell us that we have pronounced it wrong and called our daughter the wrong name....(we haven't, it really is a different pronunciation from where my husband is from)

Some people with the name Sara pronounce it "Saira". Who are you to tell them they pronounce their own name wrong? Get over yourself.

Is it Balonz?

But should you care about being "that person" when someone is so rude not to remember?

@user1492757084 Keep pronouncing her name the attractive way and the way you intended it to sound.
Just remind people whenever they make the mistake.
"It's XXNAMEXX, we pronounce it the Italian way."

People don't like being corrected, and most don't care how you say it, so you just end up looking like that person.

No one will be offended that you dont like it

I dont like Albert for babies, I dont like Peggy for girls, I dont like Bella for girls

Just say what the name is

We have a similar situation. We stick with our pronunciation and our child has come to expect people to pronounce it differently. Whilst they are happy to get on with it, they have a special bit of their heart reserved for people who bother to try to/remember to pronounce it as we do.

Keep pronouncing her name the attractive way and the way you intended it to sound.
Just remind people whenever they make the mistake.
"It's XXNAMEXX, we pronounce it the Italian way."

Some people will remember and you are the ones who will use her name the most.

I say Elena ELL eh nuh, Ava AR vuh, and Deirdre DEAR druh, in ways that are not the most common pronunciation but I will not change because I personally know some women who have taught me to say their names.

We had exactly this issue. We named our little girl after a place we lived abroad ELENA. The pronunciation there is Spanish Caribbean (Central America) Eyyy-Lenna. We just knew this wouldn’t work here, so we called her Elena and went with the regular pronunciation here Eh-le-nah as we knew she’d be forever annoyed at people saying her name wrong. We only call her by the correct pronunciation when she’s in trouble! But people still read her name and pronounce it as Eleanor, which is totally wrong! My fault 🤷‍♀️

@Cinateel , a lot of people don't really care about how you say it.
Other person: 'Coreen Smith?'
You: 'Corrin Smith'
Other p. 'Karen Smith. Oh, Ok'
You: 'Corrin'
Other p: [rolls eyes] 'Hello everyone, here's our new team member Coreen Smith'

@booksandbrooks I don't really understand why mispronunciation is so upsetting.
Because it is.
If you are something like Caren and get Karen or 'Cairen', the name still sounds reasonably OK.
If you are Mirain and get called Mir-rain, Merryn , Merrion, Marian or Migrain you might mind

....and in German .Caroline is in fact pronounced Caroleena .Really pretty name .

If I saw Esmee I would still pronounce it Esmay - I'd assume it was like fiancee, ie a feminised spelling but same pronunciation

I have a friend called Corinne, pronounced as it is spelled. I don't know how she feels, but I cringe when people, having heard it when introduced, then proceed to call her "Careen".

Thames estuary.

I have such a name.
It's "oh my god, I hate my parents".

It really is tedious to have to keep correcting people, or live with being called something that isn't actually your name because you're fed up of correcting.
It's not even a matter of correcting people once. Some people just seem unable to get it. I was actually grateful when DS fell out with his best friend of 10 years because I was so sick of his father's inability to pronounce my name correctly despite numerous reminders.

With regards to the "it doesn't matter" question - would you be happy for people to constantly call you something that isn't actually your name?

Sara is pronounced Sah-ra, not like Sarah. People who pronounce it sarah annoy me. 😂