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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Feeling guilty...gone off name

41 replies

Doggomom91 · 09/01/2024 20:50

Hi everyone, first time posting. I'm 24+6 weeks with a little girl and I'm stressing out about a name. It took us a while but we finally decided on Lilah or Lyla (undecided on spelling). We loved it so much that we have told people who have asked, and also been talking to her using that name.

Now literally overnight the name has started giving me the "ick", and I feel absolutely awful and embarrassed having to tell people we've gone off the name. My husband hasn't gone off it but he doesn't want her to be named something I don't like. I feel really down about it, like we've let her down by messing around with her name. It's really getting to me emotionally.

Am I right to feel this way or am I overthinking? Has this happened to anyone else? How did you approach it with other people who you shared your name choice with? We have some back up names but various people don't like them like my mom and MIL (Marnie and Bethany are top ones)

Help!

EDIT if our love for the name doesn't return, we obviously won't be naming that.

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MaryActsLikeSheDontCare · 10/01/2024 13:12

That’s not unusual at all, it happens. Your only mistake was telling people! Even that’s no big deal though, they won’t give it a second thought.

Fwiw, I think it’s a lovely name. What about Layla(h)? instead?

susanrosebush · 10/01/2024 13:07

You've nothing to feel guilty about, wait until you see her.

LauderSyme · 10/01/2024 12:14

There's absolutely no need for you to feel awful and embarrassed, you've done nothing wrong at all, and you certainly haven't wronged your baby.

Once she has arrived just tell people she didn't look or feel like a Lyla/Lilah at all, and you feel that the name you did choose suits her so much better. People won’t bat an eyelid. I had two friends who discarded a name they thought they loved once baby arrived and nobody judged them for it at all.

Samzzz · 10/01/2024 12:06

Don’t stress! My baby was George for my whole pregnancy. Even bought him a personalised teddy and we told everyone he was George. Anyway, a few days before he was born I completely went off it!!! To the surprise of everyone we named him Ezra (nothing to do with George Ezra lol) and I absolutely love his name, so glad I changed it! It’s so early for you, don’t stress too much about a name, it will come to you and it’ll be perfect x

BinkyBeaufort · 10/01/2024 11:41

DS told everyone their new baby was going to be called X, but when she arrived they'd changed their minds and called her Y.
No-one gave a damn.
See how you feel when she's here and be assured that no-one who matters will care.

MyCatIsPlotting · 09/01/2024 22:46

If you think you’re mucking your baby about - well, we had a shortlist of three when DC1 arrived and I called him a different name each day to see what suited him best 😂

Lilah/Lyla (or Lila) is lovely, but you have plenty of time to choose something else if it doesn’t feel right to you. Seeing her face might decide it for you.

theduchessofspork · 09/01/2024 22:43

It’s normal to change your mind.

I’d have a shortlist and see what suits her when she’s here

Original poster
Doggomom91 · 09/01/2024 22:41

DinoRodney · 09/01/2024 20:54

Honestly, loads of us change our minds during pregnancy, even after babies are born and names announced - listen to your gut and choose a new name you like, even if that means waiting till she’s here.

and you haven’t mucked her about at all

Thanks so much for the reassurance, really appreciate it ❤️

OP posts:
SkaneTos · 09/01/2024 21:12

Lyla/Lilah is a lovely name, but if you have gone off it, you have gone off it.
Don't feel bad about it! It's normal to change your mind.
You will find another name that you love, and it will suit your little girl.

I agree with @SisterMichaelsHabit and some other posters, in the future don't share the name discussion and/or name choices with anyone else. Keep it between yourself and your husband.

Chaiandtoast · 09/01/2024 21:01

You’ve got ages to pick a new name. Tell everyone you’re not set on lyla that’s just currently your top choice. Then stop telling them the potential names and you two just decide together, try some out, don’t stress, it’ll come to you.
she has no idea, you’ve not let her down at all.

Mintearo7 · 09/01/2024 20:56

It seems a bigger deal to you than it will to other people. It’s fine to say when she’s born that you looked at her and decided to call her x instead. Choose what you want, don’t tell anyone else before she’s born and people will have to get used to it. You’re prob getting really emotional over it due to the hormones. I like Marnie and Bethany btw.

Original poster
Doggomom91 · 09/01/2024 20:56

adriftinadenofvipers · 09/01/2024 20:52

She's not going to be born for a few weeks yet. Don't saddle her for life with a name you don't like because you are embarrassed to tell people you changed your mind!

This time don't tell anyone until she's here.

Edited

Thanks for the reply but no we won't be naming her that if I continue to hate it. I agree we were hasty telling people. It just felt right at the time as we loved it.

OP posts:
SisterMichaelsHabit · 09/01/2024 20:56

Stop sharing your name choices until she's out and you're registering her. Until then, she can be anything. Try out names. See how they feel. Call her them at home. But don't tell anyone else!

Original poster
Doggomom91 · 09/01/2024 20:55

Thanks for the reply but no we won't be naming her that if I continue to hate it. I agree we were hasty telling people. It just felt right at the time as we loved it.

OP posts:
DinoRodney · 09/01/2024 20:54

Honestly, loads of us change our minds during pregnancy, even after babies are born and names announced - listen to your gut and choose a new name you like, even if that means waiting till she’s here.

and you haven’t mucked her about at all

adriftinadenofvipers · 09/01/2024 20:52

She's not going to be born for a few weeks yet. Don't saddle her for life with a name you don't like because you are embarrassed to tell people you changed your mind!

This time don't tell anyone until she's here.

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