Would it be weird to use the middle name

Both my names need spelling or explanation. It would just be easier not to add the complication that I’m using my middle name.

Secondary teacher here. Register can have ‘preferred name’ on; however official exam certificates have to be legal name. So would have the name they go by as their middle name, if you see what I mean.

@Marshmallowtoastie , you can use the middle name as the known as name, but it's a PITA. You won't be the person living with the nuisance.

I'm biased because I detested being called by the first name, but if I liked the name I might have just switched to using it all the time. People who have switched from the middle name to the first often get thought of as being a bit up themselves. My close family view me going by a diminutive of my known as name struggle with it.

Here are some people who are known by their middle name;

• Christopher Ashton Kutcher
• William Bradley Pitt
• Laura Jeanne Reese Witherspoon
• Hannah Dakota Fanning
• John William Ferrell
• James Paul McCartney
• Marvin Neil Simon
• Walter Bruce Willis
• Barbara Jane Horrocks
• Robyn Rihanna Fenty
• Henry Warren Beatty
• Troyal Garth Brooks
• Thomas Sean Connery
• Keith Rupert Murdoch

Bear in mind that some of them might have needed to use a stage name because someone else had used the name already.

To be honest I don't know why you
bothered to ask the question in the first place as you have obviously made up your mind what you want to do from your lived experience and that's fine but don't try and second guess those you have taken the time to tell you it's a real pain in their experience . You seem to be dismissing their experience as not comparable with yours.

Yes, but what happens after the child leaves school? The world outside school is nowhere near as careful and understanding about this kind of stuff.

Teacher here. Shouldn't be a pain. I've had this exact scenario in multiple classes in multiple schools and has never been an issue. Obviously every school has different policies but I would be surprised if they made it an issue.

Please don't do that, my parents did this to me and as someone else has mentioned already its a pain in the ar se for your whole life .I've hated the experience, it's been a pest, don't make life harder for your child

That’s also what I was planning on doing- first name British Victorian, 2nd father’s culture, last double barrel. That way people
from both sides can have a name they can pronounce and DD can also have a completely British name if she chooses.

Yup. Me too. It’s a right PITA. People at appointments ask your name and you can never remember whether you gave your actual name or your first name and then you look like you are stupid. You always get called the wrong name. Every single teacher has to be told. Just out the name you want to use first.

Not at all unusual, I know several people who have done this with their kids, or grew up with that themselves. But an interesting point about a) informality and b) names on databases etc. Although quite a lot of contexts allow something for 'Known as' - we see this quite a lot as our oldest has chosen a different name since 2 years ago that they'd like to go by but we're waiting until they are old enough to change it themselves if they still want it (which I think they will), so we often fill things in with their given name and 'Known as'

My DS has always been known by his middle name, never an issue in school/college.

My Mum and her siblings all had an English forename and then a foreign middle name. They were all known by their middle names, although some used the English name for work.

All fine until my Mum was in hospital and the doctor told me that they were worried because she didn’t know her name. I said she was known by her middle name. So they helpfully wrote on her notes “likes to be called Yetta.” I ended up writing on the white board above her bed “My name is YETTA”, but half of them were still calling her Joan until she died.

It was the same with her brother.

In this age of frequent international travel plus heightened SECURITY I should not muddy the waters and blur issues, it will only cause stress and anxiety to all involved.

My parents brought me up using my middle name (it’s something my family do on my dads side) and it’s a bit of a pain to honest for anything ‘official’ and anyone who doesn’t know me obviously calls me by my first name which feels weird. I didn’t carry it on for my children. I’m just used to it though even though it takes some explaining at times. I do like both my names though!

The people who have said it's a pain haven't said it's because they don't like the first/middle name, it's because everything requires legal ID these days that had to match so you are constantly explaining/correcting. Never an issue for my mum growing up but now in her 80's she has to remember her legal name and often doesn't respond to it. You are over thinking the "jobs" market . They can apply and have a CV in a any name they choose and reveal their " real" name once are filling in the HR forms!.

I didn’t know my first name
until I was about 6 - my parents always called me by my middle name!! Never used my first name (I am 50) not really an issue to be honest - some people think its odd but its all I have ever known!!

Agree it’s a pain when you’re an adult. DH goes by his middle name and I once got a fine for putting his middle name not legal name on a document. Stupid mistake, but the kind of thing you forget easily. We also have to remember to give the right name for tickets, forms and other things. He hates it so much that he’s going to change his name by deed poll this year and lose the first name.

My great grandfather was George Archibald but was always known as Archibald. On the 1911 census it has his name as G Archibald so it has always happened.

Don't do this it is a pain the arse. As someone who's parents did this when they were born I've spent my life having to explain what I go by and correct people etc. just put the name you want as their first name.

Tricky conundrum, but I think that if it was a choice between using the same name as a friend’s child/cousin, OR doing the “middle name as known name” thing, I’d opt for the first choice, after discussing it with the person in question, and I’d pick one that had a feasible nickname that could be used day to day while growing up to distinguish them.

We have a fair few “George/Joji” “Leon/Rion” etc among the kids I know as I know so many bicultural families. People “get” it and don’t get upset IME - they understand that there are only so many bilingual names to go round.

Either way I’m giving them a difficult name, unless I just drop our heritage from it entirely which I don’t want to do

Choose your favourite name and make that the first name, not middle name. I don't understand why you'd have to drop your heritage? I'm mixed race with a non white name and I've never had any issues with work. Employers look at my qualifications and experience.

What about the child’s surname- is that related to your culture? Would the child not face these potential racism issues because of their surname anyway? And then doesn’t that surname undo the potential benefit of an Anglo sounding first name?

I’ve given my (white) children names from my culture, which aren’t spelled in a way that isn’t easy for English speakers or those who speak Romance languages to read (although fine to say).

My name is also from my culture and has never been a problem for me in the UK. Get lots of questions about it, but have had plenty of good jobs etc. I am white though (so racism not an issue but have faced plenty of anti-immigrant sentiment).

On people not going by their official name, it’s an absolute pain for others too. I’ve booked separate trips away for two people before only to find out afterwards their name is not the name on their passport. The absolute admin headache of trying to change a Ryanair flight with the wrong name on it still gives me nightmares.