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Baby names

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Original poster

Name dilemma… could I even consider using this name combination?

34 replies

Babycoming24 · 03/01/2024 13:33

My friend has two children, one of which was very sadly born sleeping this time last year.

The name I love for my child (due in 3 weeks) happens to form a very similar name to my friend’s two children's names when combined. One of the two names is basically the opposite sex’s version of one of her child’s names (think Michael and Michaela) and the second name is the exact name of her other child.

The fact i’m even writing this probably suggests I already know but, is it at all appropriate for me to use the first and middle name combination that I love, considering this situation?

Please be honest but also kind!xx

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FKAT · 03/01/2024 13:45

You need to find another name OR accept friendship will be over.

NewyearNewyear2024 · 03/01/2024 13:44

I’m not sure why you would do that.

YouveGotAFastCar · 03/01/2024 13:44

You'd lose the friendship, realistically.

And it'd look pretty odd to outsiders that you'd named your child the combination of your friend's children's names.

No-one owns a name, but this seems a bit brutal, and I think you'd need to do it with your eyes open. It'd likely make it far too painful for your friend to be around your baby, and I'd be surprised if the friendship survived.

Doppelgangers · 03/01/2024 13:43

I would definitely choose a different name. The name is literally the only thing she has for her little one who was born sleeping and choosing a name which is basically both her children's names combined would be incredibly unkind. I'm sure there's plenty of others you could choose.

Janieforever · 03/01/2024 13:43

just To add,of all the millions of names available, to effectively want the two your friend used, is all kinds of odd.

Janieforever · 03/01/2024 13:42

I think it would be very odd and disturbing if you effectively named your child after her two children inc one who was sadly still born, anyone who knows you both would be deeply disturbed by it.

abcdefghijkI · 03/01/2024 13:40

I think using the other gender name of her living child would be fine, but using the name of her dead child would not.

SnowsFalling · 03/01/2024 13:40

Normally, I'm of the "noone owns a name" brigade.
However, if your proposed first name of your baby is the same as, or a version of, her baby born sleeping I think you would loose the friendship if you used it.
Middle name, especially if the variant, is more up for discussion

IGotItFromAgnes · 03/01/2024 13:37

Are you talking about a first and middle name scenario (John Paul Smith) or a double first name (John-Paul Smith)? Or the combined name Johnpaul Smith?

I wouldn’t use a close or exact name of a baby born sleeping as all or part of a first name, but might as a middle name. I’d want to speak to my friend about it first. She might be ok with it and see it as honouring her child in a way, but I couldn’t use it if she was unhappy.

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