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Baby names

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Original poster

Is it weird to use the same name?

36 replies

msgrouch · 30/12/2023 00:56

I work for a really small independent company, with an almost non existent staff turnover. There are only about 8 of us, and myself and one other colleague are likely to (eventually) jointly take over the company when the older directors retire over the next few years. (We're both mid-30s, senior management, and have both made it clear we're there long term with this in mind.)

We speak daily, confide in each other on personal matters as well as work matters, and I would say are generally close for colleagues - though we don't socialise out of work much. We live in different towns, and her children don't know me - though we speak about our kids and family life regularly day to day.

I'm currently pregnant with DS1, and our favourite boys name happens to be the same name as her DS.

It's not a super unique name - currently ranking in the 20's of the top 100 where we live. And the kids are unlikely to cross paths often if ever. But I do speak to her every day and am likely to for the next 30-40 years! Is it too weird to use this name, or am I overthinking?

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Nineteendays · 30/12/2023 08:54

I would absolutely still choose the name. It’s not like she’s your sister. It would be bizarre for her to be annoyed

theduchessofspork · 30/12/2023 08:48

It’s technically fine, but as your whole planned future rests on a good relationship with this person, this is one of the rare occasions when I wouldn’t. If she’s annoyed it could impact on your plans, which even in a small way, you don’t want.

Original poster
msgrouch · 30/12/2023 01:45

User373533 · 30/12/2023 01:32

I think it would be fine, but I'd definitely casually broach it with the colleague and not just announce it. When they ask about names say 'well actually DH has his heart set on George, and we are struggling to agree on another, I do love it too, but worry it would be weird for you?'

Dropping it into conversation is a good suggestion, but I just don't think she will ask about names - she didn't with my previous pregnancies, nor did other colleagues, so I'd have to go out my way to raise it. I just announced on group Teams channel previously, after DDs were born. I could reference it as part of that... something like, welcoming another little "George" to the company family, or similar, to acknowledge?

I imagine I'd then get a "great minds" or something like that. I don't think the reaction would be so strongly adverse as to impact our working relationship; we've worked together for about 10 years and she's generally fairly chilled as a person. (Though maybe she's just got a good professional front!!) Just worried I'm coming across a bit weird / creepy!!

OP posts:
User373533 · 30/12/2023 01:32

I think it would be fine, but I'd definitely casually broach it with the colleague and not just announce it. When they ask about names say 'well actually DH has his heart set on George, and we are struggling to agree on another, I do love it too, but worry it would be weird for you?'

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 30/12/2023 01:31

I don't think you'd need to say my George/your George most of the time as the context covers it. For example, George didn't sleep well last night, she's going to know it's your George. If you said how is George? You don't need you to add your to it, as she'll know who your talking about. If you asked her when George first did X? She'd know you were taking about her George. If you were reminiscing you might need to clarify, Do you remember when big George did X, little George does that too. If other colleagues are part of the conversation you might need to clarify, but again most of the time people will infer which one your talking about by your relationship to your respective boys and the words used in your sentence.

If my colleague used one of my boys names I'd probably make a comment about great minds thinking alike or how she has great taste in names and that would be it.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/12/2023 01:28

If I were your colleague, I wouldn't care in the slightest, but you only have to be on MN for 5 seconds to know how bonkers people can get about other parents using "their" name.

I think I would be concerned that you will permanently damage the working relationship you have with this woman if she has a strong, adverse reaction to you using the name.

Original poster
msgrouch · 30/12/2023 01:21

That's an interesting point @resm - I think it wouldn't put me off in the slightest if it was my DH's colleague. DH has maybe met this colleague of mine once or twice in passing, just to say hello, and there's been a few basic interactions between them on some of my social media posts - he wasn't even aware that her DS had this name til we were discussing it. So it won't affect his life at all, and won't affect DS, nor my colleague's DS.

But as @JingleSnowmanTree says, the next 30-40 years of "my George / your George" for ME day to day makes me think twice about it, especially as I'm knowingly entering into that! Also potentially other raised eyebrows around the office as it's quite small.

It's not a family name, though it's a name I liked before knowing her or her DS. And her DS is in high school, so they'll be very different ages / stages, if that makes any difference.

OP posts:
JingleSnowmanTree · 30/12/2023 01:12

I wouldn't do it. The prospect of 30-40 years of my George/your George would be depressing.

there are millions of names you could choose, why do it??

it would have been slightly more understandable if you'd always planned to name your first son after his grandad or something.

if you tell us the name, we might be able to help you choose a different name

stardust40 · 30/12/2023 01:07

Myself and a close friend have daughters named the same. They got called big xx and little xxx. It's never been a problem. However, we didn't know each other when the girls were born but I probably wouldn't have chosen the same name had we been close friends then. It's entirely up to you! If you're worried about your colleague's reaction why not drop it into conversation that you love her lo name and let her know you're considering it and see what her reaction is.

resm · 30/12/2023 01:06

I think it’s perfectly fine. If it was your partner’s colleague, would it put you off using the name?

NuffSaidSam · 30/12/2023 00:59

It's not weird, but it is a bit ....unimaginative? I think I'd think you a bit odd if I was the colleague. But of course if that's the only name you love then go for it.