Is it weird to use the same name?

This is bonkers.

Just use the name if you love it!! I would acknowledge the point when you tell your colleague so as not to give the impression you have completely missed it - but nobody has a monopoly over a name and as you say these kids don't even know each other!!!

Imagine choosing a different name second best and then in some twist of fate you lose touch with her any way.

I have a “George” and one of my close friends recently had a baby boy she named “George”.* There’s 16 years between them and Big “George” loves having a little namesake. She did ask me if I minded and I was flattered tbh! Plus I don’t own the name…..

I think if it was super rare or unique then it might be a bit weird but if as you say, it’s a top 20 name then I can’t see the issue personally.

*It’s not George either

If I were the colleague I would take it as a compliment but not everyone is the same i guess. Maybe talk to them and see how they would feel about it?

It’s a bit weird and kind of unimaginative because it’s like you don’t see her son as having that name. It sort of becomes your name.

Someone did it to me and I still feel a bit weird about it. I’d only do it if you weren’t close. It’s like it never meant that child to you, was never in your mind. Personally my friends kids exist and I associate their names with them. I wouldn’t want to copy them.

Absolutely fine
some people think they own a name
especially if it’s in the top 20
if it was my colleague I wouldn’t bat an eyelid

I'd find this odd if I was your colleague. I wouldn't do it personally.

Use it.
They have different surnames and are very different in age.

I have a close friendship group from school that have kept in touch and meet up once or twice a year, big occasions and events. There is only about 8 of us and two in the group have children with the same name, it also happens to be the name of one of the adults in the group! It’s a lovely name and nobody bats an eyelid. If you love the name, go for it!

George is a lovely name. Just do it.

I do think it's a bit odd but if you love it - no big deal

I think it's fine.

If its a top 20 name there is just as much chance of you meeting someone with a child of the same name anywhere, and it just won't bother you
My Dd's name is the same as her best friend's. Sometimes when I chat to her Mum it's a bit 'my 'S'/ your 'S' ' but other than that I wouldn't give it a thought.

I'd personally ask her first and then it wouldn't be weird at all.

Yes, agree with this^^

People can be really touchy about people close to them using the same name. Personally, I think that's silly unless it's something very uncommon like Balonz. But you don't know how she will react I suppose.

Fwiw I ended up using the same name as a colleague's dc but we weren't at all close. I then used his name for my second dc 😬. I genuinely didn't realise until years later. I'd left that company after dc1 was born so it was only when I ran into another colleague years later. Neither was a particularly rare name and they were the only names dh and I agreed on - I'd suggested loads more. But it did make me think I was being weird and unimaginative!

I think this is fine for a popular name.

A girl at work has a very unusual name - I've never come across it anywhere else at all in my 53 years, and only met a handful of people with a slightly better know variant. A few years ago, 2 people at work (sane dept) gave their babies this name. A year later someone else did. I've checked Dark Greener, and there are fewer than 3 records of this name being used in those years, so possibly all in our office! Whilst these babies weren't named after my colleague, their parents clearly only became aware of the name because of her. She says it's a bit weird, suddenly being in a micro society of where her name is really popular!

For a top 20 name, there will always be a few about. I wouldn't worry about it. I have the odd conversation about "My Tom, your Tom", but so what? What's more confusing is that the graduates I work with have the same name as DH and DD!

yes I think its weird your collegue will think its weird and there will be an air of awkwardness every time you talk about your son.

I think it's fine too. Her ds is ten years older and you have other children which somehow makes it feel less intense.

And she must know other people with the same name if it's top twenty territory.

I definitely wouldn't ask if she thought it would be weird for her as you are then drawing attention to the fact that it could be. Or that it should be.

I just don't get what the problem is.
If someone named their child same as mine, even if was my sister l wouldn't give two hoots, it's just a name. I didn't realise before coming on here the amount of self importance people put on a name.

It's fine, don't be put off a name you love because of work. She might get a new job next week. You might. With great respect to her she sounds like a close-ish colleague you see a lot of through circumstance and no more, not a friend. If it was a very unusual name it might raise an eyebrow but just let her know early saying it's long been your favourite and she will be fine.

I think it’s fine especially as her child is a lot older. She’d probably be more sensitive about it if hers was a baby. She’s probably met a lot of other little Balonzes by now.

If you have other kids, you should definitely feel comfortable using it. Unless she has a Jane, Sue and George and you already have a Jane and Sue it’s honestly perfectly fine.

'Good morning colleague, husband and I are were discussing baby names last night and 'Bonzo' came up as a name we both love.

You've got a Bonzo haven't you?'

That opens up the lines of communication as to whether she would freak out and cause irrational trouble or not.

With such an age gap it's not something I'd worry about.