Why is EVERYONE irl secretive about their baby names?

But based on what you’ve written- I imagine you didn’t try and talk to people about your list then?

I don't really remember but probably not. I can understand being torn between being excited/consumed with name thoughts and discussions with a partner, but also feeling like you don't want to share the name(s) with others. But you still feel like you want to talk about the process as it's such a big deal to you at that time, if you see what I mean?

It would put me off a name if someone expressed that they disliked it. That might not be the case for you but it would be for me

We didn't name our babies until after they had arrived. We had names we liked on a shortlist but honestly I didn't want any feedback on them, it was for DH and I to decide and us alone. It felt like a very important thing for us to get right together for our baby when they arrived. I didn't care or what to hear what anyone else thought, frankly.

We didn't know the sex and we hadn't chosen a name beforehand. It wasn't some big conspiracy to have a big reveal or anything it's just nobody else's business what we were discussing.

My cousin told everybody what she was naming her first! She even had personalised blankets and a hat etc made that she posted on Social media with captions like "not long now" etc. Then the baby came and everybody bought stuff saying "welcome to the world E" with the name etc. Two days in, my cousin decided she hated the name! But felt she couldn't change it as people had already bought stuff. The child is now 5 and my cousin still hates the name. At least with not telling people beforehand, you have an option to change your mind , without people saying "oh I thought you were naming the baby that"

It feels like something that’s our information to share at the time of birth. We loved that DD1 was the first to find out DD2’s name and we’ll do the same for DD1&2 when DS is born.

Everyone knows I’m pregnant and when I’m due. Everyone knows we’re having a boy. I’m ok with all of this but this is something DH and I have decided and we don’t want other people to put doubts in our minds although I think we’ve chosen a great name.

However, I only mention that we’ve chosen a name but aren’t sharing when other people ask us. I don’t waffle on about it for days unprompted.

If a baby is already named something, most people even if they hate it will pull together an ‘oh that’s … interesting’ but if it’s just a potential name, then people might think that their opinion counts for something and they have some room to persuade the prospective parents that they shouldn’t use that name. Even if they are set in the decision, maybe they just can’t be bothered with the argument.

They might also want to avoid the risk of people ‘stealing’ their name, or just want it to be surprise. They also might want to be sure of a name before announcing it. I had a colleague who throughout her pregnancy called the baby Ralph, and when he was born thought he didn’t suit Ralph and baby Jasper was born. She didn’t share the chosen name in her second pregnancy.

It’s because people always have an opinion which they can’t keep to themselves.

DDIL & DS2 are expecting a baby, so I was telling my mum the names they like. Firstly they don’t know what they’re having, which is wrong in her opinion, then when I told her the beautiful classic girl’s name they like she went “eurrrggghhh!” She’s so rude at the best of times, but there’s just no need for it.

I didn't share my second baby's name for two reasons-

1. I told everyone before my first daughter was born and then everyone kept referring to my bump as baby's name and it gave me the ick but I felt I couldn't change it 😂

2. with my second DD we'd shared the sex and then I had to have an elective c-section and I just wanted to keep some element of it to ourselves

YANBU

There is nothing more annoying than bring told half the story with the key piece of information ne'er to be revealed.

Perhaps you could suggest names from the Addams family. Thst should shut them up.

Also I think it has become a social media thing where most people find out the sex of the baby during pregnancy, so there isn't a big boy/girl reveal - but you still get to do a name reveal, and people seem to like doing that.

There also seems to be a fear about other people "stealing" the name, which is exactly the kind of nuts thing that pregnancy hormones make you worry about which doesn't seem like a remotely important problem any of the rest of the time. But if you've centred in on a name that you think is lovely, then the assumption is everyone else will think it's lovely too and you get this fear that other people will use the same name and suddenly your precious Leo will be merely one of a sea of Leos.

Because people are always horrible pre birth but don’t say anything post birth.

It's probably because it's a decision that's taking up a lot of their brain space, but ultimately it's a decision they want to make without people volunteering their opinions about how horrible (or otherwise) their prospective name choices are. When a baby has already been named most people have the decency to keep their opinions (beyond oh how lovely) to themselves, but when the name is still being decided people can be ruthless and harshly push their own opinion/ try to convince the parents to choose a specific name/ to not choose a specific name.

I don't know why we didn't share it beforehand really, but it just felt like it would've made it less like "her" name if other people were saying and talking about it and using it before we'd even seen her.

Because people give their unwanted opinions if they think it isn't too late to change your mind.

Once baby is born they smile and say "Lovely!!" even if they are privately thinking "Hideous name! WTF??"