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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Unisex Name for girls

115 replies

MmeSimone · 30/09/2023 04:20

We're looking for a name for a baby girl and I like names that are unisex or can be shortened to a unisex name. I would like for them to be able to sign an email with no one knowing their gender. I do like classic names but not too pretentious or rare.

There are two catches. One is, we live in Germany and I would like to have a baby name that can be pronounced in German and in English.

Secondly, I don't like it when nicknames are the given name. E.g. I wouldn't ever christen my child Lilibet because it's a nickname for Elizabeth, so she should be christened Elizabeth, and then can be called Lilibet anyway.

We have thought of

  • Charlotte (Charlie) (a bit pretentious but front runner)
  • Alexis (Sasha) (exists in close family ATM though)
  • Robin (a bit modern)
  • Jamie (I really like this name but it does not really work in German)
  • Samantha (Sam) (reminds me of SATC)
  • Josephine (Joe) (super old fashioned)
  • Jacqueline (Jack) (a relative we dislike has this name)

Any other ideas?

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Scottyme · 16/10/2023 22:25

Well this is awkward when the OP @MmeSimone doesn't actually know what a unisex name is to begin with 🙈

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/10/2023 14:36

KirstenBlest · 16/10/2023 13:33

Terry is unisex @MmeSimone , it's short for Terence or Teresa

Grin
KirstenBlest · 16/10/2023 13:33

Terry is unisex @MmeSimone , it's short for Terence or Teresa

Original poster
MmeSimone · 16/10/2023 12:23

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/10/2023 18:16

I suppose if you use Karen as a misogynist slur, you'd want to avoid similarly misogynist people doing the same to your child. By using a boy's name.

This doesn't even make any sense, lady who uses a male name as her username

OP posts:
Original poster
MmeSimone · 16/10/2023 12:22

SaticoyStreet · 15/10/2023 19:38

@MmeSimone hey! We have a daughter named Myka. It’s pronounced like the German name Maike I think… it’s my-kah. But we also have a male name pronounced the same which is Micah. So that’s a unisex name you might like?

I heard this name recently but it was a female Micah. I think it's nice but a bit unusual with my last name in German, Maike could work though but it's definitely not unisex

OP posts:
SaticoyStreet · 15/10/2023 19:38

@MmeSimone hey! We have a daughter named Myka. It’s pronounced like the German name Maike I think… it’s my-kah. But we also have a male name pronounced the same which is Micah. So that’s a unisex name you might like?

ChocolateCinderToffee · 15/10/2023 18:20

Evelyn Hilary Vivian Lindsay Ashley

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/10/2023 18:16

I suppose if you use Karen as a misogynist slur, you'd want to avoid similarly misogynist people doing the same to your child. By using a boy's name.

Original poster
MmeSimone · 15/10/2023 17:31

CurlewKate · 12/10/2023 09:54

@MmeSimone "Maybe that gives you some food for thought."

Really? To be honest, it's definitely you that's under thinking this one. Wanting to give a girl a boy's name. Using gendered slurs. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck....

Can you read? You are welcome to reread the title of my post. Do you want me to spell it out for you: U-N-I-S-E-X .

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 12/10/2023 09:54

@MmeSimone "Maybe that gives you some food for thought."

Really? To be honest, it's definitely you that's under thinking this one. Wanting to give a girl a boy's name. Using gendered slurs. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck....

looking4pup · 12/10/2023 09:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I didn't catch your reply before it was deleted.

OP posts:
KirstenBlest · 11/10/2023 17:01

@MmeSimone , what sort of feminist uses the derogatory term 'Karen'?

Original poster
MmeSimone · 11/10/2023 16:58

CurlewKate · 11/10/2023 13:24

However, the usual stereotype of a "judgemental SAHM Karen" is not a woman who finds it frustrating and infuriating that people find using boy's names for girls edgy and strong and cool but girl's names for boys soft and feeble and risible. Rather the opposite, in fact.

I would also include people who think they're the ultimate feminists but instead decide to trash other women's preferences and ideas based on some assumptions they make from reading a five-sentence forum post. Maybe that gives you some food for thought.

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 11/10/2023 13:24

However, the usual stereotype of a "judgemental SAHM Karen" is not a woman who finds it frustrating and infuriating that people find using boy's names for girls edgy and strong and cool but girl's names for boys soft and feeble and risible. Rather the opposite, in fact.

KirstenBlest · 11/10/2023 13:12

Sexism, ageism and racism exist, whether we like it or not.
As does name bias.

Karen for example suggests a woman, probably white, in her 50s, and some use it as an insult.

MaybeSeren · 11/10/2023 12:33

That's disappointing to hear @KirstenBlest Perhaps I have a naive level of optimism.

Obviously the better thing would be to fix the sexism that underlies all these situations. That seems to be the perennial challenge for the world doesn't it.

KirstenBlest · 11/10/2023 12:23

@MaybeSeren , I've turned up for an interview and they expected a man. Complete waste of my time. Turned up for a flat-share, same thing.

MaybeSeren · 11/10/2023 12:19

KirstenBlest · 11/10/2023 11:51

@MaybeSeren , but it goes against you in the end. If someone is sexist, they will feel wrong-footed to find out that the Steve, Peter or George are really Stephanie, Peta or Georgina.

Perhaps. But it going against you earlier isn't likely to be better. The risk of someone being biased early (and eg not wanting to deal with you) is arguably much greater than the potential risk of them being wrongfooted later. At least in that case there is still the opportunity to get your foot in the door and (ideally) disprove some assumptions.

It's easy to trump up an excuse to ignore advice from someone at the outset if you want to. Eg 'not sure it's thorough' 'how about we get a 2nd opinion', etc.

But it looks much worse if someone says to their boss 'yeah I agreed with this advice before but now I've discovered it was written by a woman so I think we should ignore it'.

KirstenBlest · 11/10/2023 11:56

Now please do us all a favour and eff off this thread so you can w off to bothering some other unassuming mum to be who is innocently looking for name suggestions according to her preference without being bothered by judgemental SAHM Karens.
Shock

CurlewKate · 11/10/2023 11:52

@MmeSimone @If you really want to know, I consider gender partly a social construct and don't think any names should be gendered. Unfortunately most of them are."

So why do you de-gender boys names to give girls and not girls names to give boys
And it's entertaining that think names should not be gendered, but are still happy to use gendered slurs! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

KirstenBlest · 11/10/2023 11:51

@MaybeSeren , but it goes against you in the end. If someone is sexist, they will feel wrong-footed to find out that the Steve, Peter or George are really Stephanie, Peta or Georgina.

Original poster
MmeSimone · 11/10/2023 11:19

MaybeSeren · 11/10/2023 11:10

In defence of the OP (I know you don't need it OP, but just adding my view), ambiguity of gender/sex DOES assist women in relation to written communications. An email of legal advice written by a lawyer named John is going to be viewed as more authoritative, by many readers, than if they received the same email/advice from a lawyer named Johanna.

This is not a good thing, obviously, but it is genuinely a thing. The conscious or unconscious sexism / bias in the reader means that a woman will often get a better response if the recipient of her email thinks she's a man.

Of course, this does not apply to all readers or all situations. And where it does apply, the better thing would clearly be to fix the innate sexism, so that it is no longer an issue.

But the OP can't fix all that for her daughter. So if she wants to give her daughter the option to send an email without making it clear that she's female, then that doesn't necessarily mean she isn't a feminist. And it doesn't necessarily mean she wishes she had a son. She might just be hoping to give her daughter an option to avoid some conscious or unconscious bias from sexist idiots.

(This issue has also arisen where women have been required to add pronouns to their signature block when they would otherwise just use their first initial and last name.)

Thank you! All this (in addition to other things) and I have read the studies and could cite them here but I am getting really really angry at having to explain myself for literally just asking if people have ideas for names, especially when the level of discussion accuses me of "yuck cootie". I should have known better than to post on Mumsnet 😉

OP posts:
MmeSimone · 11/10/2023 11:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MaybeSeren · 11/10/2023 11:10

In defence of the OP (I know you don't need it OP, but just adding my view), ambiguity of gender/sex DOES assist women in relation to written communications. An email of legal advice written by a lawyer named John is going to be viewed as more authoritative, by many readers, than if they received the same email/advice from a lawyer named Johanna.

This is not a good thing, obviously, but it is genuinely a thing. The conscious or unconscious sexism / bias in the reader means that a woman will often get a better response if the recipient of her email thinks she's a man.

Of course, this does not apply to all readers or all situations. And where it does apply, the better thing would clearly be to fix the innate sexism, so that it is no longer an issue.

But the OP can't fix all that for her daughter. So if she wants to give her daughter the option to send an email without making it clear that she's female, then that doesn't necessarily mean she isn't a feminist. And it doesn't necessarily mean she wishes she had a son. She might just be hoping to give her daughter an option to avoid some conscious or unconscious bias from sexist idiots.

(This issue has also arisen where women have been required to add pronouns to their signature block when they would otherwise just use their first initial and last name.)