Middle names - how to choose one side of the family over the other?

It doesn’t matter if they’re upset, it’s your child you can (within reason) call them what you like.

I agree middle names should have meaning rather than something you just like the look/sound of (surely that's what the first name choice is for?). But I think if you can't have two middle names from each side of the family due to length, then I'd personally use either of your first or middle names (depending on sex of baby!) -unless you happen to have just the one brother or sister so offense can't be caused if you pick them instead. That's what we tend to do in my family - children usually either have parents name as the middle or two middle names from each side of the family.

Stick to the maternal line!

I really don't see the point of having a middle name. They are rarely used and often awful! My brother wasn't given a middle name and was always pleased that he didn't have one. I've never used my middle name or initial and hated it. I think there are only a handful of people who know that I've actually got one.

If the baby has your surname use a name from Dads side of the family
. If they have Dads surname choose a name from your side.

We bickered endlessly about middle names and both children have two, one connected to each side of the family.

honestly it really doesn’t matter. Only the first name does.

I'm glad I'm not named after a street or country.

Imagine being called Amelia Third Avenue Smith or Noah Kyrgyzstan Jones

I think there is more than one way to honor-name :)

Any chance there is a place that has meaning for you both?

Not only do I like the story but I think there are many that sound really cool!

For example, my friends named their daughter after the first street they lived on together, Asher. And another set of friends who met while they were both studying abroad and her middle name is Italia

I like the suggestion of announcing beforehand one side of the family if girl and other if boy. I think that seems fair if you’re going for one middle name.

I have relatives & acquaintances who use their middle name as their preferred name. They liked having this choice.
I have colleagues who use their middle initial or whole name to be distinctive (not just any Joan Smith...); this can be important for career purposes.

Middle names can have useful purpose not only for honoring people.

My feeling is to use the middle name that goes best with the 1st name. Do not use a name that doesn't sound good with the 1st name.

Caroline?

I would pick whichever is the nicest and goes the best with the other names, and tie it to the babys sex. So if ifs a boy its named after your side, and a girl is your dh side (or whichever way is nicest) and then tell your mothers that. Then its up to luck/fate/the baby whose name it has and you didn't pick favourites.

Ours us definitely a mouthful!.

But people rarely use middle names and so not an every day issue. It meant a lot to me and DH (we wanted them rather than family pressure) and so I am happy with our choice.

Just go with what you like. My DS is named after his paternal GF (I had never met him) and his middle name is one we liked and also after the gyno who delivered him. I don’t let my family dictate how to name my children. My DD is also not named after DM, maybe she was offended maybe not. No idea and it’s none of her business. Chose a family name you like, it’s your child!

We had all family middles names from my side as the surname was husbands side.

I feel the same way you do. First baby was his side second baby my side. None were grand parents, with baby 3 we used my DHs first name as the middle name so no grandparents missed out.

In your case I would pick a friend you are close to. Or look back at great grandparents.

We are thinking of middle names from both sides, but I have a feeling my mum or mil might be upset if we opt for the other person's family.

Oh well! You can't please everyone, and you should know this. Your mum or your MIL will get over it. It's so ridiculous to allow your decision to be dictated over something so silly. Use the name you like the best.

Use Elizabeth. It's the best name and I've never heard of any family member being displeased that their beloved grandchild was named after the other Granny etc.

Can you make a name using their names? For example my mum is Anna and my MiL has a longer name but is generally known as Belle so obviously Annabelle was an easy choice for us. Otherwise a name you know they both love or a name that is related to something that is personal to you and DH.

I have two middle names and and the second one is never written out fully on anything, it's just my name, first middle name, then a single initial then surname. I gave my child one middle name for this reason!

If you don't know the gender yet, you could decide on a middle name for a boy from your side and a middle name for a girl from your husband's side (or vice versa) and inform your mum and mil of the planned names. Then it will just depend on if you have a boy or a girl and hopefully no-one can be annoyed.

I think it'd be just fine to have two middle names even with a mouthful of a surname.

Is there anyway of creating a different name using your mum or mils name?

For example if one was Pauline and the other Carol it could be Coraline … or better with time and more thought than I put in 😂😂

My children have middle names from both sides of the family, so they have 3 first names. And a hyphenated last name. Long, but no problem!