Baby names - how did you know when the name was right?

@UnicornRocket I also prefer Rowan for a girl and I'd avoid for a boy as it's so similar to RoMan which is the fastest rising boy name if you look at the official stats. 5 years ago there was hardly any Romans, now its in the top 20 most popular names and still rising. There were 2 Romans in my nct group

https://names.darkgreener.com/#roman

Whilst neither of you are ‘wrong’, your suspicions about whether people are more likely to think boy or girl are probably correct: Rowan is ~60th most popular boys name, and ~400th most popular girls name. So, whilst it certainly CAN be a girls name, this would suggest it is vastly more likely that people will think it’s a boys name. (Unless you are in Scotland, where I understand the name is much less unusual for girls)

We had narrowed it down to two names, and when he was born we took our time to make sure the first choice really fit him well. We told everyone his name on day 3. I actually got a feeling his name was right as soon as he was placed on my chest, but I still needed those few days to ‘make sure’, and so did my DH.

He’s called Rowan, funnily enough. We love it 😊

Could you compromise on Rowena for a girl, perhaps? It is the more feminine version.
DH and I didn’t have any disagreement over names. I had miscarriages before our first DD, and DH suggested the Simon and Garfunkel song “For Emily - whenever I may find her”, which seemed so appropriate in the circs, so we called DD Emily.
Second DD was named Sybilla after the Dutch version of DH’s English grandmother’s name. (Other half of DH’s family are Dutch), with the middle name of Verity as his English family’s heraldic motto was “Nihil Verius” (None truer).

I love Rory for a boy but not for a girl. Finn is my favourite from your boys' list.

I'm still not 100% sure about DS1's name and he's 26. His first name feels a bit "safe" and unadventurous to me now, although it has a friendly sounding shortening that we all like and he usually uses. I also don't really love the overall flow of his three forenames. The last one was chucked in at the last moment as DH had a sentimental reason for wanting to use it, and while it is quite a nice name, it doesn't really feel to me like an ideal middle name. DS2's name works better somehow - all three parts of it sound good together.

DH and I have very different naming styles so it was quite tough. We thought we had a favourite until I was about 8m pregnant and then suddenly I was like nope doesn't work for me. What we ended up with I suggested after seeing a film where a character was named that, I think I was already on mat leave so maybe a late entry at around 38w pregnant. We both liked it but I wouldn't have said we had chosen it 100% at that point. When DS popped out as DS, and the midwife asked if we had a name, I looked at DH and he said 'yes he's xxx' so I was like cool that's settled then. And now he's just over a year and I can't imagine him being named anything else.

We went through hundreds if not thousands of names to get to that point. I just kept throwing suggestions out there. I googled name lists for months. I follow a lot of naming consultants on tiktok (but most of them are from the US so the names skew verrrry american) for inspo. I tried to compromise on middle names 'well if you like x for first then I want y for middle' etc. I thought it would be fun and exciting but when your tastes are so different and conversations go round in circles it can end up a bit draining lol. Good luck finding a name you both love!

That’s a really good way to decide. Flip a coin if you have two and when it’s in the air you’ll know what one you’re secretly hoping it lands on!

If you both love Lily, might a similar name work?

I personally loved Lila for a girl but couldn't use it, so used a similar Layla :-)

So maybe names like Layla, Lola, Lilo, Millie? My current top girls name is Eliza (but I'm having a boy haha)

Good luck x

We made a list of the all the names we agreed on, then we ranked them each individually, and added up the rankings to find our top name. Super boring but effective! We have quite different tastes in names so was great to find some in common.

What about Robyn for a girl? I feel like it fits in with your other choices.

We had a white board in the hallway with 5 names we liked each ( we knew we were having a girl)
only one of those was on both lists.
But we still weren't sure on it so we left the hospital with baby girl B. We still hadn't settled on a name until a few days later my OH went ' I'll just put this in Rosaleigh's room'
And there is was. Her name works it was perfect for her and it looks really pretty when you write it down. Although no one can spell it correctly!

We had a list but only a few we both agreed on.

3 I absolutely loved but I went with the name that when I heard someone else use it I thought I'd be gutted if it didn't.

I thought I don't want to be thinking at we loved that but didn't go for it.

Funnily my sister and her husband are also having the Rowan debate. She likes it for a boy and he likes it for a girl.

Theo and Mila are my fave from your list

We couldn't agree on a name. We had 2 boy names we liked and 2 girl names, one I loved, husband didn't like it. The other one my husband loved but I was on the fence.

We went into the hospital with all 4 names then she was a girl and we knew straight away her name was my husbands favourite. My name for her (olive) didn't suit her and we just knew it was the other name.

One of our top 3 names came on the radio when we were going in to be induced as a song title. Sealed the deal!

Both times they just felt right. I kept coming back to the same name both times over and over again despite looking at and liking lots.

I can’t describe it, it was just a feeling that “yep, this is her name. This is what she’s called”.

I have twins but we didn’t find out what we were having so we had to pick 2 girls, 2 boys and a boy & a girl combo.

it was a nightmare I could really only decide on girls names and that was only a couple of weeks before they arrived.

I must have subconsciously known as I had 2 girls, the names together just worked 🥰

they arrived at 33 weeks and I only glimpsed them for seconds before they were taken to NICU. One of my girls was quite a bit bigger than the other so that’s how we decided - big one was F and the smaller one was B.

We had 2 names picked and on the morning of my section I just knew which name was right. So I told my dh and the Dr what babies name was and that was it. Dh couldn't pick between the two and said he liked either. He couldn't imagine ds being called the alternative name now though 😂

I know a girl Rowan and a boy Rowan. They both suit it!
Girl Rowan is a pretty little blonde super girly, popular, pink loving, gymnast 6 yr old.
Boy Rowan is a cool, funny, popular, gamer teenager.

And girl Rowan does get called Rory and nobody questions it.

Rowan Blanchard, Rowan Atkinson

Lily is pretty but it is so overused.

Don't have anything of use to add other than what others have already said but...

I think the name Rowan Turner is absolutely gorgeous! It flows so well whether for a boy or a girl. It's lovely.

Our first daughter we had one picked out as soon as we knew she was a girl (20 week scan) and she was never anything else. This time I’ve got a 2 week old and she has had soooo many names, and we’re still not sure. I much preferred the first scenario, this not-knowing is stressful! People kept saying we’d know when we saw her but that absolutely has not happened!

Rowan is gorgeous, personally I love it for a girl but we haven’t used it because it is so completely unisex, when I’ve met little Rowans I’ve often had to guess/ask and I’d rather something with a bit more of a clue.. having said that our first daughter is Indi (Indigo) which is also pretty unisex, it just felt quite feminine to us.

Finn I love, Mila is lovely. I also love Kendra, among other things it means wise, doesn’t go with our surname but might work for you since Keira is on your list.. good luck finding the right one :-)

Rowan is by far the nicest name on your lists for boy or girl and the one that goes best with the surname. Just use a masculine or feminine middle name.

Finn Turner is venturing into Paige Turner territory.
Rory is a popular boy's name, so I wouldn't recommend using it for a girl unless short for Aurora or something.

It grew on me 😂 I couldn't find any, partner liked one, I thought it was ok. She suits it haha and over time I love it.

We were pretty set on our name choice from about 6 months into the pregnancy, but when he arrived it took a little while for the name to 'settle' on him, for me at least!!
That's the best way I can describe it; it felt like we were floating the name over him to see if it dropped down and settled on him.
The other factor was that the wonderful, beautiful midwives took to calling him 'One-Eyed Jack' as a nickname (he has two eyes, he just kept one closed for the first few hours and eyed the world suspiciously!!) and then I really liked Jack! We went with the original name we chose but Jack is now on the list for our second son, due next month!

I'd say stay open to everything as inspiration can really come from anywhere and it'll just feel like 'yep, that's them!'