3 weeks to go and SIL used our name

Use the name you want. ♥️

Use your name. As you’d said, you’ve been open about it.

expecting DD1 I have always been open about using a sentimental family name for future DD.. SIL was aware as she knows it is a family name

If she says anything, laugh at her and say “I’ve always talked about using my family name for my daughter. You knew that. Sorry you chose something so similar, but nevermind. It was your choice.”

And then move on. Your child can have her name as planned.

Obviously I can't speak for the future child but I'm just advising the OP to think of some other points of view. Also the shared Grandparents - how would they feel having two Grandaughters 3 weeks apart with very similar names. Could it be confusing or difficult or embarrassing for them? I just hate these threads where everyone says the most important thing is to have what YOU wanted regardless of any consequences or upset. What lesson is that giving your daughter? If it causes upset then it's honouring noone. No particular name is that important.

Just because you would've hated it, you can't say the same for this child or predict what they would like in the future.

I say use it. The names aren't the exact same and nobody owns a name anyway so if you still love it use it

Is it your family name or your husbands family name? Could your SiL have been wanting to use 'the family name' as well but didn't want to say.

Use the name you want, we have three cousins with the same name (slight different spellings), all different last names, no one cares, and it's not even a family name, just popular at that time.

This happened to my brother. They hadn't shared the name (it was our Grandads name) and then a few weeks before baby nephew arrived, cousins baby arrived and he used the name. My brother went back to the drawing board, as their kids shared a surname.

I actually prefer the alternate name my brother picked anyhow.

All of these responses are saying you should do what YOU want to do. I would think of it from the point of view of your future daughter. Do you think there's a chance as she grows up she might not want a similar name to her cousin who will already be similar in age. I have to say I don't think I would have liked that growing up. I'd have preferred my own individual name. Being a mum means not always having what you want but acting in the long term best interests of your child.

Use your planned name.

But feeling aggrieved that SIL has also chosen a variation on a much loved ‘family’ name is a bit unfair. She (or your brother/BIL) presumably have as much of a connection to that past as you?
imo it’s not really something to call ‘dibs’ on!

Use the name as planned.

Use it.

Name your baby what you like, they may not even suit the name you think you like!

She hasn’t used your name though has she? 1. You don’t own a name and 2. You said yourself it isn’t the same name.

this is exactly why nobody knew what baby names we had for our child.

Unless they share a surname and will be in the same class at school then just use the name op.

Just use the name, it really doesn't matter.

We’ve got two boys with the same name who are cousins in the family. Why wouldn’t you name the baby what you like.

Use the name you want. I've got 3 cousins with very similar sounding name.

I would use the name. If you told her she obviously doesn't think similar names are a problem & I don't think you should either. I think go with the name you chose - congratulations and all the best for soon to be DD - I can see how you might be slightly irritated but just go with what you originally thought.

Use it! It'd have been nice if your SIL and DB had asked how you felt, but TBH it may just not have been on their radar. I've not noticed it being a particular issue outside MN.

I’d 100% use the name. It’s not going to upset her, you’ve been open about using it. The cousins won’t question it. Don’t overthink this!! Does anyone know your cousins names now you are an adult? Do what you want.

Did she know your chosen name?
How does your DH feel?

I would still use the name I wanted.

this.

You'd be very silly not to use your favorite name. I can guarantee your SIL would. Honestly, nobody will care.

I'd use the name, if your sil knows that's what you were going to choose then she's obviously happy for it to be similar so I wouldn't worry since it's a variation rather than the same name.

Honestly the best revenge you can possibly get is going ahead and calling your DD your original name.

SIL will be counting on you not doing, if you don’t she wins. I suspect she’ll not like sharing a name but make sure to hit her with the ‘you knew full well we were using this name if you didn’t want to share you should have picked something else’