Annoyed that my sister named her baby after my father

Just use the name too.

You were an asshole the second you said your baby will be his first grandchild. It isn't, your sisters baby is his first grandchild. He helped raise her from 2yo. Honestly you sound possessive and jealous. No matter why she chose it, no one owns a name. If you wanted it badly you should have had that conversation with your sister, and even then she wouldn't be an asshole for picking what name she wanted anyway.

“I before she gave birth. Maybe 4 to 5 months before. So it's not like I arrived in the hospital and decided "Oh the baby is gonna be named Alexandra".

But did you actually tell your half sister about this decision?

*Sorry should have said half sister, not step sister.

Was/Is your father close to his parents? Did/do you get along with your paternal grandparents? If you like the name maybe naming your child after his mum might be a sweet gesture to your dad, honouring and remembering his mum. Provided of course they had a loving relationship!

Honestly I assumed your Dad was dead from all this fuss! You didn’t tell her you wanted to name your daughter after your Dad, so why shouldn’t she?

There’s probably a different version of the name you can use eg Nicolette rather than Nicola if you’re that bothered, or just use it as a middle name.

The mere fact you say you told her you wanted to call your daughter after a family ‘but you weren’t sure who’ does rather make me think you weren’t planning this until she did.

Anyway, put your toys back in the pram and grow up. No one owns a name.

Are you ok?

Time got a little lie down maybe? 😬

Your poor mother must feel very left out with everyone desperate to name their little girls after your father.

The name isn't actually after your father though is it, unless you are actually using his name. It's just a feminine version of his name.

If you're going to give a little girl a feminine version of a man's name there are surely several options available to you. Your step sister has used only one of those options.

You really do not like people telling you that you are in the wrong do you @Maxinemumof2 ??? You should have said you only want people who agree with you, (and think you are in the right,) to respond. Would have saved so much time for many posters.

Of COURSE you are in the wrong. It's got shag-all to do with you what anyone calls their baby. You sound like hard work, and huffy and demanding. Your (half) sister probably did it to piss you off tbh. I know I would if you were MY sister. Also, as pps have said, such rude and unpleasant comments about him not being her dad and 'only' her step dad, and claiming YOUR child will be his first grandchild. RUDE!!!!

I agree with Reddit (and some posters here.) Get over yourself. And grow up.

Thank you. We have a list of names we like. So time to go through that. You are very understanding

@Maxinemumof2 I highly recommend that you calm yourself and put your half sister, niece and nephew out of your head.

Choose your new baby a name you really love. Give her two middle names if you want to honour family members and if at the end of the day it’s a form of either of your parents’ names, say you were channeling George Foreman 😉
George has 12 children, including 5 sons named George and 1 of his 7 daughters is Georgetta 😆

Most of all enjoy this time and the time of a new little life. Don’t let anything eat you up.

This!!

Be embarrassed for her and do something entirely different, whether that’s start from scratch, go outside the box, honour people who are important to you - but in a values based way - not choosing their actual names.

Can’t believe she nailed your shared mother’s name and will now feminise your father’s name before you get a look in wtf. She’s got every base covered.

Just get out. Don’t play this game at all

“It does seem a bit strange that she’s named her child after her step dad if she has a good bio dad”

Maybe she doesn’t like the feminised version of her bio dad’s name. Maybe it’s Nigella!

I think the entire things weird!

Do people usually name their kids after their parents?

Its a bit of a slap in the face for your mum if you were planning to call your female child after your dad.

I also feel sorry for your half sisters dad or her partners parents who don’t get a mention with the names.

Surely if you were going to call your baby a name associated with your dads name then it wouldn’t be fair on your mum or your partners parents.

I think it’s very weird she named her child after her stepdad.

But you need to not let it get to you as it seems it’s more of a situation between you two and you are both competing fir either your dads attention or just to get one over on each other.

Have a think of some other names you both like but not named after anyone else.

Unless it's a very unusual name, maybe she just really likes the name? My brother has a daughter with a name I really like, if I had a daughter I would still have used it. Because no one owns a name. I've probably upset the in laws by not using their names as that's the tradition in their family. Can't stand the names so no chance. Someone is always going to be upset.

I think she may be sending some kind of message to her own father. Who knows.

YYY to this!

You never hear of testosterone being blamed when there's a knife fight or football hooliganism. But it's the root of so many problems in society.

@Maxinemumof2 - did your dad have a second name that you could use (in a feminine version) for your dd?

Or would you share the name here (maybe in the baby names section) and see if we can come up with something similar, that you would like?

I'd carry on and use the same name personally.

I would just name your baby after your dad anyway to be honest!

Just get over it and name your baby how you like. Plenty of cousins share names from relatives. Or choose the same name because they like it.

Just appreciate the fact you are having a baby and enjoy.

I think you're being petty.

Name your baby after your mother.
Or use the feminine version of your father's name as a middle name.

Or go outside family names altogether. There are thousands of nice names out there.

You could consider what was done years ago in naming tradition and give baby your maiden name as her middle name. Or give her a slightly different name to your mum's which has her name within. Think Lisa, becomes Alissa, Melissa, Helen becomes Ellen or Elena etc.

I’d say give her, her own name and then use the female version of your dads name as her middle name. My cousin has the same first name as my middle name as that’s how it worked out - we were both named after our great grandma 😁

I've read further back in the thread, and also re-read the original post.

Your question tends to whether you should say something to your sister or not. When I contemplate any form of confrontation, I ask myself what it is I hope to get out of it.

In this instance it seems there isn't anything to be gained. The baby is named. This isn't going to change no matter what you say to DSis. It's not going to bring about any outcome other than angst - most likely on your part, because it might be seen as territorial over who has the 'right' to see dad as dad. She could then claim with some justification that you were being unreasonable.

I see why you're upset. But it does seem that this is one of those issues in life to which there is no solution. A PP gives excellent advice when she says this is a little person in her own right and deserves her own name.

It's your first child. IME there's no time in your life that could ever equal the happiness that comes with expecting your first and celebrating your new little arrival. You will likely come to regret it if you allow this situation to spoil it.

Congratulations on your new family and I wish you a safe and happy delivery.