Annoyed that my sister named her baby after my father

Yes, there’s definitely this to consider too. You hear a lot of “She’s named Rose (or something classic/beautiful) after my grandma” but never “She’s named Bertha after my grandma.” Is it the case that her dad’s name isn’t so nice?

Exactly! In my friends case the in-laws think she named her little boy after their grandad - because it's rude and unnecessary I suppose to clarify that you didn't at all, you just like the name.

Everybody outside of the family knows though, especially her own parents as she didn't want her dad to think she named him after her FIL!

Nika could maybe be a consideration.

You don't own the name and you did not tell her that you were planning to call the baby after your dad so how was she supposed to know.
Maybe she prefers your dad's name to her own dad's name. Maybe she feels closer to your dad. Whatever. You should have said long before the baby was born.

Nicoletta, Nicoline, Colette

Or choose another name and have Nicola as her middle name.

I've read all of your posts, OP, and some but not all of the comments.

Well, many have said it, but YABU. She grew up with 2 dads, and it seems that she spent about equal time with them.

About the name, Holly (suggested by a PP) is really nice! Or, does he have a middle name that you could work with?

I understand that you are disappointed and upset that she picked the name and I think that's why you come across as unreasonable and a bit immature about it, but the fact that her own dad was in the picture isn't really relevant. If she only saw her dad at weekends and half the holidays it was your dad who raised her the majority of the time and I'm sure she very much sees him as her dad too. You hadn't told her you wanted to use the name, she obviously loves your dad very much regardless of whether he's her bio dad You want to ask her why... This will be why. She loves him. I think for the sake of your relationship with your sister and your own mental health, just move on and pick another name.

Nicholas and Collette both mean ‘victory of the people’ you could find a girls name you like that means similar to your dads name?

Ah I'm glad @Maxinemumof2

Try not to harbour any resentment towards your sister. I doubt it was malicious, but even if it was, you've got a lovely little baby to look forward to. Parenting's tough and you might find you need each other to lean on.

Yes, there’s definitely this to consider too. You hear a lot of “She’s named Rose (or something classic/beautiful) after my grandma” but never “She’s named Bertha after my grandma.” Is it the case that her dad’s name isn’t so nice?

There's nothing to be done about it, but I understand why you feel the way you do, OP. She has a biological dad who was/is involved in her life. It's odd, imo, to name her child after her stepfather, under those circumstances.

Now you can either choose another variation on your father's name, use the same name and call your child by a nickname instead, use it as a middle name, or go with an entirely different name. There's really nothing else to do. You can talk to your parents about how you feel, just to vent and make them aware of your feelings, but I wouldn't mention it to your sister. There's nothing to be gained by it.

Just call your baby after your father as you planned. In any case it would be the female version of the name. I think save the name for when you have a son.

His mother's name as her first name. Nicolette as her second name.

*name

He made his choice when he became her stepdad!

No, he didn't. There are all sorts of ways of being a step parent. A great many, like myself, have a nice relationship with their stepchild that never comes anywhere close to being their actual parent. If he feels that way that's up to him.

If the woman's stepfather was George and the biological father was Brian, I can see how that decision to make the child George might come about.

(Sorry, Brians).

Just wondering, why is it relevant that she has her own Dad and he was involved in her life? Why does this mean she can’t name her child after someone who clearly played a really important role to her? Maybe she doesn’t like her Dad’s name so much. Like others have said, it’s just a name, get over it.

No, he made a choice to marry her mother. He became a stepfather because of that, but didn’t marry her mother because he wanted to be her father. It’s a title, it doesn’t in fact make him her parent in any legal sense.

His name is Nicholas

If she's gone Nicole, for example, you could use something like Holly. It resembles the middle of his name without being obvious or anything like your sisters baby name.

“There are loads of harsh comments on here OP but I think you have a right to be annoyed.”

I think the harsh comments stem from the first post saying “he’s not her father, he’s mine” and “this is his first grandchild” - biologically this is true but given how long he was in her life, it’s not too surprising that the bond is strong.

Had the post been more “I get their bond but I’m really sad about it” or whatever then responses would have been more sympathetic

Is my father allowed to define his relationship with her or only my sister can define their relationship/her relationship with her?

He made his choice when he became her stepdad!

This is sounding less about the name though OP and more about your relationship with you sister - meh, sulk all you want, it's her stepdad, her baby, her choice.

But the feelings of the stepchild aren’t the only ones that matter, or are worthy of acknowledgement. The biological children of the stepparent are also going to have theirs, and they don’t have to be the same as that of their half sibling.

They may very well be upset that they’re not considered ‘special’ to their actual parent. Is it a nice thing for people to consider when they have an idealized notion that blood doesn’t matter, and that blended families should operate in the same manner as nuclear ones? No, but that doesn’t change the reality of a situation, which can be significantly more complex than allowed for.

in this case OP’s father doesn’t consider her half sister to be his daughter, or her child his grandchild.

*Her father is a very nice man, paid for her entire wedding. They went on fancy holidays in South America, I remember looking at the pictures she was showing me and feeling a little envious.

My own father was caught off guard when he learnt the news. Nobody was expecting it.*

Maybe she just likes the name?

My friend gave her son his grandads (IL) name but she wasn't naming him after his grandad - she just likes the name.