Annoyed that my sister named her baby after my father

Could you not use another female version of his name, e.g. Daniela/Alexis?

I get why you're upset about your sister's name choice. Sometimes it's so hard to move on when you've set your heart/mind on something and then it doesn't/can't happen. I agree that there's no point in asking your sister about it as there's nothing that can be done. I wonder if her bio dad is upset, especially if he's been an involved parent?

If you really want a family name, maybe consider asking your dad (or mum) for what names are special to them from their families. It might be really lovely for your dad to have a hand in your baby's name rather than just hearing that your child has been named after him.

Personally, I'm not a fan of family first names, it can seem a little like you're putting a new person in a box that says they should live up to their name and the person they're named after.

Nicholas means "people of victory".
Colette also means the same thing.
Klaus means the same, but I can't find a female version of this. Others might be able to think of one

This is a list of girls' names associated with Victory. http://www.thinkbabynames.com/names/0/victory

The obvious one would be Victoria

Or perhaps think about strong female leaders in war
e.g. Elizabeth I
Isabella of Castille
Eleanor of Acquitaine

Athene is the Greek goddess of war

Or female versions of successful leaders - Alexander is the obvious one. Joshua brought victory to the people of Israel, but I can't think of a feminine version.

Or perhaps Laura/Lauren - referencing the laurel wreathes bestowed upon victors.

Hope that's a helpful start.

I hope you never end up with step kids who think so much of you that they'd name their baby after you. What a nightmare that would be?!

If it's bothering you so much just ask her why she did it, and what her bio dad thinks. But agree with others, try to let the resentment go.

Collette is lovely! Great idea. Nika - as someone else suggested - is gorgeous too.

I'm with Reddit. The man has raised her since she was two he is just as much her father as yours regardless if her bio father is in her life

You can still use the name for your son. Your Dad must have been a very special man if both his children want to honour him by naming their children after him. Your step sister was brought up by your Dad and she became his daughter too. Don't fall out with her about this. Chose to take it as a compliment to your Dad. Using Daniel/Danielle example your niece may be known as Danie and your son could be Dan or Daniel. It does not have to be a problem. Don't make it one. Think of your Mum and be gracious.

I have the same first name as my cousin. Honestly, this is the first time in 53 years that it's struck me that someone might see it as an issue. Call your baby whatever you want. There will be other people with the same name anyway.

When she was a child if she went to her dad's every other weekend then her dad was there 4/30 and her step father was there 25/30 noone is saying she was abandoned but your dad brought her up too she has 2 father figures and step dad was more present, it sounds like he's a great guy. Could you use the name as a middle name?

Ok. So if tomorrow he stopped talking to her, what exactly would prevent him from doing that? Trying to understand the logic. She isn't 2 anymore, but is a grown woman.

I don't understand the question?! If my DSF stopped talking to me I would still consider him my stepdad, cos he has been for 40+ years.

I understand it depends on the relationships involved and some step-parent relationships are more fleeting, or less involved than I have with my DSF - but it sounds like your DSis experience is very similar to my own. My whole point of adding to your thread was, it wouldn't even occur to me that my siblings would be pissed off if I named my child after my DSF, because we're all very much family. I doubt it was done to annoy you - she probably just really likes the name!

At the end of the day OP, you feel how you feel - you can't help that. You'll look like a massive spoilt dick to actually voice it though.

You are not horrible. You were looking forward to using the name and your disappointed. Dare I say hormones may be making you react to this more too. Once your girl is here with her own name you’ll find it impossible to imagine her being called anything else. Sounds like the cousins will be close in age and that’s a lovely gift that they will appreciate as they grow up.

OP

Your father can define his relationship with your sister
Your sister can define her relationship with her stepfather/your father

They may not be the same definition.

I get you feel upset I do. It feels like your sister stole "your" family name I totally get that.

However, as a stepchild who very much did have my father in the picture I loved my stepfather and one of my children is named after his father. Now my stepdad doesn't have any biological children but had his sister or niece had any objections I would have been hurt. I have a good relationship with my stepdad my children call him Granddad he has earned that name.

Could you go further into your family tree on your dads' side? What was his mother's name? His grandmothers? Give your dd a family name that way. It may even mean more to him if you named her after someone he loved. Not everyone loves their own name :)

I'm just glad you've got some peace of mind now @Maxinemumof2 ❤️

I can see why you’d be upset by this, OP — but I do think you just have to move on, I’m afraid… it was a lovely thought from you and perhaps you can find an appropriate time/place to tell your dad (quietly) what you’d planned? I’m sure he’d be touched, even though your sister beat you to it.

You've said yourself, you hardly had anything to do with her growing up and presumably now as adults, so how do you NOT have a special bond of your own with him? Does he compare you a lot? Does he talk about how proud he is of her or do you see him being involved with her kids?

If her biological father and your mother had 50/50 custody of her then she spent an equal amount of time with your father as she did with her father. Maybe she feels closer to your father than she does her biological father. 🤷‍♀️

You've got your surname to give you SOME happiness at this time when you're expecting your first? Really, is that the only glimmer of happiness? And reassurance of what? That you're special too?
. There's clearly more to this than a name.

Give your daughter a name of her own and look into whether you need some support getting over whatever happened in your childhood.

The person who should be complaining on here is her biological father. I would be fuming if a daughter I raised in joint custody with her mum chose to name her kid after her stepfather. For that alone it is the ss who is the arsehole. She shouldn't have named her kid after her stepfather out of respect.

I dont understand why you concentrate so much on her having her own biological father. Sounds like you resent sharing your biological father with her. Sorry you are having a hard time.