Annoyed that my sister named her baby after my father

@Maxinemumof2 if you’re having a little boy I called my oldest Robin and I love that name so much, maybe for yours? And yeah it’s weird if I was her dad I’d be wtf but don’t make a fuss you’ll be made the bad guy. I get you though.

That has been addressed. Did you actually read it before you responded? As you haven’t actually addressed what was said.

It all sounds very strange OP. I don't envy your situation.

*He doesn't compare us at all. He is very open minded. I see him often, and my sister is always there. I asked him to invite us on different days. But somehow she is always there. I got pissed off and asked him that I will not longer out with him if she comes. But she asked him when we're meeting and says she wants to come " I can't say no, I would feel bad".

It's like she's always everywhere in my life now.*

I think you need to be honest about how you feel to your dad. He may have been a nice figure in her life but he's dropped the ball and failed to recognise the importance of having an independent relationship with you, his own child. I would hate for my DC to feel as you do.

Tbh, I wouldn't name your child after him. It doesn't seem like he's gone above and beyond in terms of being a good father to you - for context I gave my DD my mother's name as a middle name because she really deserved my appreciation for all she's done for me. Your dad hasn't really prioritised you enough to make you feel secure.

How about the French variation of Nicholas - Colette or Cosette? Or could you use his middle name? Or your fathers mothers name? It’s still honouring that side.

@Maxinemumof2

Did she use Nicole? What about Nicola? Nicola is more the feminine form of Nicholas anyway.

Psycho

OP, could you explain how you feel to your dad instead and perhaps have him involved in choosing a name for your baby? In our family, some of us were named by a relative and it can create a bond with that aunty, grandparent or older sibling who chose or helped choose your name.
The suggestion to consider ‘Colette’ by other posters is a brilliant idea. And you can still tell your child she was named after her grandfather.

As for not having the opportunity to spend time on your own with your dad, could you invite him over to yours and have a heart-to-heart about this? Explain why it’s important to you to have some quality time with him?

Your half sister seems to have a stalker-like attitude when it comes to your dad despite having a living, present, decent father of her own. Giving the child his name, preventing you and your father to have any alone time...frankly she sounds unhinged.

Move on. And you could still use a version of your father’s name for your DC. Yours and your sister’s children will be cousins. It’s OK for them to have the same or similar names.

But I do understand your sense of territoriality about your father and your sister. Blended families are hard work.

So she was only with you guys and Mom eow so her Dad had primary custody? So she's named the baby after a man she saw 4 days a month?

What are you hoping to get out of this? Everyone telling you you DSis is terrible and you are great? It has happened and you can stamp your feet but it won’t change anything. Do you really need to go about ‘honouring’ people for a name to have value? Does your DH have a parent he might like to honour? You sister has done literally nothing wrong here and if you really need to ‘honour’ someone look to your DH’s side, or give your kid the same middle name as a parent’s. Or an anagram, or spelt backwards.

@Maxinemumof2 Why don’t you name your child after her dad and then you’re even?

I think she’s been a bit of a b If she knew you wanted to use that name. If she didn’t know, I’m not sure you can complain. Do you know what, if you still love the name, you could still use it. Are there any other versions of it that you like?

To be honest OP, this is the kind of thing that would wind me right up but I think you need to move on too (easier said than done of course!). It does sound a bit like your sister might be trying to piss you off by all the messages? If so I would ignore.

If she has used Nicola, would you consider using Nicole or Nicky? Could be a way around it although probably likely to piss off your sister. I also like the name Holly which someone suggested unthread although I think the connection is more tenuous. I’ve just googled and apparently Nicholas means ‘victorious’, how about ‘Victoria’?

Don't name him after anybody in the family. Your SS is very clearly a bit loopy on this insistence of linking baby2 to her stepdad (10-20 messages a day about it is actually a concerning number!).

Don't even bother entering the game. Let your daughter be entirely free.

And it sounds like your DF is a really lovely man. If he apologised to her father about this then he's obviously sensitive and decent. If you then name your baby after him, in any way that he's told about, it could actually make him quite awkward. He may end up feeling bad that you didn't name your daughter in some way after your mother, for example. So give your daughter a name that everybody can celebrate as being uniquely hers, and in no way linked to this nonsense your SS is pulling.

And btw I do not think you're being unreasonable. It does sound like she has major insecurities though and you're seeing them as some kind of threat rather than her weakness. I think that's understandable, our relationship with our parents is instinctual, so you're not seeing it coldly. She's probably been a little jealous you didn't live between two houses. Then you're pregnant when she is and she's worried your baby will be The First for him, he'll want to see you over her, and she won't get a look in, so she's going overboard making herself relevant. It's sad. Leave her to it and choose a name that is entirely unrelated to this mess!

Maybe she just likes the name.

Jeez, calm down

OP I would just focus on enjoying your first baby, it's not worth the hassle

I hope everything works out for you

What about your grandfathers name, your fathers father? Could you name him after him?
Danny, Dan or failing that, some other name you like.
You now know if you have anymore children to keep the name to yourself.
Sometimes you just have to put it down to experience however upsetting it has been for you, your sister probably didn't realise how much upset it would cause you and if she did then don't ever speak of your plans infront of her. She's probably just envious of you & your life.

I agree that it was an odd thing to do, but your last post makes me think that she is jealous of your relationship with your dad (are you his only child?). Naming her daughter after him seems to demonstrate that she wishes he was her dad. I feel sorry for her dad, but maybe it's revenge for having more children and being an involved step dad in his next marriage.

To anyone that thinks this isn't odd, imagine how you'd feel if your child named your grandchild after your ex husband's 2nd wife. It's certainly unusual if you've continued to be a good parent after the divorce.