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Baby names

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Original poster

Annoyed that my sister named her baby after my father

365 replies

Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:02

Hello everyone. I have already posted on reddit and people were in majority saying that I was an assh*le. So I thought my not ask mothers/future mothers or fathers what they think rather than a bunch of adolescents.

I am pregnant, due July the 14 with a little girl that I was planning on naming him after my father. My sister was also pregnant and gave birth on the 4th of April to a gorgeous girl she named after my father ( Think Daniel/Danielle , Alexander/Alexandra). I am happy for her but I am so annoyed.

He is not her father, but mine. Our mum met my dad when my sister was 2 , they got married and had me 8 years later.
She has a father, he didn't abandon her. She is in good terms with her and our mother and even goes play golf with my father.

So why name your baby after my father? It is his first grandchild. I wanted it to be special for him.

Should I say something or just move on?

OP posts:
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Abacusporttaco · 29/04/2023 15:14

" Just put the little ones to bed , How are you X? Are you watching football again? Hahaha wish you were there to give me a back massage (husband's name) is not home and I feel lonely"

Yikes.

Lachimolala · 29/04/2023 15:02

Maxinemumof2 · 29/04/2023 14:14

He didn't adopt her, and even if he wanted he wouldn't be able to do so because she has a father who took care of her.

Show quote history

I know lol. I was replying to the other poster who started going off in one about hypothetical adoption nonsense.

Your dad is your dad, and you are having his first grandchild. That might frustrate some posters but it’s just fact.

Your half sister sounds frankly very very weird and obsessed with your father. And I think YANBU to be upset she took not only your mothers name, but your fathers too.

Original poster
Maxinemumof2 · 29/04/2023 14:14

GoodChat · 29/04/2023 12:00

@whumpthereitis who said she's Colombian?

I did.

OP posts:
Original poster
Maxinemumof2 · 29/04/2023 14:14

Lachimolala · 29/04/2023 09:53

OP’s dad isn’t an adoptive parent though is he? I’ve never understood why people on mumsnet love coming up with these weird convoluted ‘would you do this if this’ scenarios.

Let’s focus on the actual real life issue, OP has stated that her dad doesn’t see SD children as his grandchildren. And rightly so, because they aren’t. His first grandchild will be OP’s daughter.

Show quote history

He didn't adopt her, and even if he wanted he wouldn't be able to do so because she has a father who took care of her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Maxinemumof2 · 29/04/2023 14:12

English is indeed not my first language. I don't contradict myself. She was with a father and other siblings one week, then home woth us another week. Half of the holidays with him, the other half at home.

She completely disappeared of my life when I was 10, came back 5 years later. And No, my dad do not consider her to be his daughter, she calls him Nick, and her father is "dad".

He did tell all of us how he was excited to become a grandfather. Of course her kids are also his family, but they have a man they call grandad, which isn't my father.

The mumof2 is a joke about my dog

OP posts:
tweener · 29/04/2023 13:54

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 29/04/2023 13:10

@tweener - you don’t have to scroll through 300+ posts - if you look at the OP, in the bottom right corner, you can click in “See All” and read just the OP’s posts. To see all of another posters posts, you click on the three dots at the bottom right corner of one of their posts, and select “See All” from the drop down box.

You can also customise the way MN looks, so that the OP’s posts and/or your own, can have a coloured background, so you can spot them easily.

Thanks, I use the android app though and it doesn't have this functionality.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 29/04/2023 13:10

@tweener - you don’t have to scroll through 300+ posts - if you look at the OP, in the bottom right corner, you can click in “See All” and read just the OP’s posts. To see all of another posters posts, you click on the three dots at the bottom right corner of one of their posts, and select “See All” from the drop down box.

You can also customise the way MN looks, so that the OP’s posts and/or your own, can have a coloured background, so you can spot them easily.

NoFall · 29/04/2023 12:30

tweener · 29/04/2023 12:19

I'm not scrolling through 300 odd posts, I asked a valid question there's no need to be rude.

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OP said that it’s a joke about her dog being her first baby.

tweener · 29/04/2023 12:19

SleepingStandingUp · 29/04/2023 12:11

By you reading ops posts. Where she's explained at least twice.

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I'm not scrolling through 300 odd posts, I asked a valid question there's no need to be rude.

SleepingStandingUp · 29/04/2023 12:11

tweener · 29/04/2023 12:09

Your username says mum of 2. So how would this baby be your dad's first grandchild?

By you reading ops posts. Where she's explained at least twice.

tweener · 29/04/2023 12:09

Your username says mum of 2. So how would this baby be your dad's first grandchild?

GoodChat · 29/04/2023 12:00

@whumpthereitis who said she's Colombian?

whumpthereitis · 29/04/2023 10:23

PousseyNotMoira · 28/04/2023 22:34

doesn’t consider her to be his daughter, and doesn’t consider her daughter to be his grandchild.

According to OP, who isn’t coming across as a rational or reliable narrator, tbh.

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OP’s first language is unlikely to be English, given that she’s Colombian. Not being the clearest doesn’t make her irrational, or unreliable. It makes more sense to trust her judgment given that she actually knows her father, than to dismiss her because you dislike what she has to say.

whumpthereitis · 29/04/2023 10:20

Oldnproud · 29/04/2023 08:36

Would you say that to adoptive patents and children, that they are not related, that their future grandchildren are not theirs? I doubt it.

A good step parent - especially one who has had that role since the child was only 2 - is surely as closely related to the child as an adoptive parent. The child effectively had three parents.

The only difference here is that the child in question had an involved father too, but although the OP keeps saying that the real father was very involved, and has even suggested that contact was "almost 50/50", she always says "every other weekend" several times, which kind of contradicts that claim. Sounds to me like in reality stepfather was by far the most present father-figure in her upbringing.

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Adoption is irrelevant here, as he didn’t adopt her. He’s her stepparent by virtue of the fact he married her mother, but he is not her parent either legally or biologically. Nor does he consider himself to be.

Meowandthen · 29/04/2023 10:00

This post is the equivalent of asking dad for something even mum has said know.

Lachimolala · 29/04/2023 09:53

Oldnproud · 29/04/2023 08:36

Would you say that to adoptive patents and children, that they are not related, that their future grandchildren are not theirs? I doubt it.

A good step parent - especially one who has had that role since the child was only 2 - is surely as closely related to the child as an adoptive parent. The child effectively had three parents.

The only difference here is that the child in question had an involved father too, but although the OP keeps saying that the real father was very involved, and has even suggested that contact was "almost 50/50", she always says "every other weekend" several times, which kind of contradicts that claim. Sounds to me like in reality stepfather was by far the most present father-figure in her upbringing.

Show quote history

OP’s dad isn’t an adoptive parent though is he? I’ve never understood why people on mumsnet love coming up with these weird convoluted ‘would you do this if this’ scenarios.

Let’s focus on the actual real life issue, OP has stated that her dad doesn’t see SD children as his grandchildren. And rightly so, because they aren’t. His first grandchild will be OP’s daughter.

ItsBritneyBitchhhh · 29/04/2023 09:29

I’d be very annoyed

aSofaNearYou · 29/04/2023 09:13

A good step parent - especially one who has had that role since the child was only 2 - is surely as closely related to the child as an adoptive parent. The child effectively had three parents.

Not really, no. Unless it's a "raised them as my own and adopted them" situation a step parent is not inherently anywhere near as close to a child as an adoptive parent. They CAN feel like the step child is their own child. But very often they won't, and they aren't required to because they are not filling a void of a parent, they are just married to the parents that are still around.

TheDogsWardrobe · 29/04/2023 08:56

Oldnproud · 29/04/2023 08:36

Would you say that to adoptive patents and children, that they are not related, that their future grandchildren are not theirs? I doubt it.

A good step parent - especially one who has had that role since the child was only 2 - is surely as closely related to the child as an adoptive parent. The child effectively had three parents.

The only difference here is that the child in question had an involved father too, but although the OP keeps saying that the real father was very involved, and has even suggested that contact was "almost 50/50", she always says "every other weekend" several times, which kind of contradicts that claim. Sounds to me like in reality stepfather was by far the most present father-figure in her upbringing.

Show quote history

It’s nothing like adoption. OPs father didn’t adopt OPs half sister. He isn’t her half sisters father. She has an involved biological father who is the grandfather to her children.

Katherine1985 · 29/04/2023 08:49

Secnarf · 28/04/2023 20:16

Nicholas means "people of victory".
Colette also means the same thing.
Klaus means the same, but I can't find a female version of this. Others might be able to think of one

This is a list of girls' names associated with Victory. http://www.thinkbabynames.com/names/0/victory

The obvious one would be Victoria

Or perhaps think about strong female leaders in war
e.g. Elizabeth I
Isabella of Castille
Eleanor of Acquitaine

Athene is the Greek goddess of war

Or female versions of successful leaders - Alexander is the obvious one. Joshua brought victory to the people of Israel, but I can't think of a feminine version.

Or perhaps Laura/Lauren - referencing the laurel wreathes bestowed upon victors.

Hope that's a helpful start.

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I think the name Louise means victory too

Oldnproud · 29/04/2023 08:36

Lachimolala · 28/04/2023 18:57

Not really though, they aren’t related at all.

OP’s baby is his first grandchild.

Show quote history

Would you say that to adoptive patents and children, that they are not related, that their future grandchildren are not theirs? I doubt it.

A good step parent - especially one who has had that role since the child was only 2 - is surely as closely related to the child as an adoptive parent. The child effectively had three parents.

The only difference here is that the child in question had an involved father too, but although the OP keeps saying that the real father was very involved, and has even suggested that contact was "almost 50/50", she always says "every other weekend" several times, which kind of contradicts that claim. Sounds to me like in reality stepfather was by far the most present father-figure in her upbringing.

ohhio80 · 29/04/2023 08:22

Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 21:23

Does this message sound like a daughter-father message:

" Just put the little ones to bed , How are you X? Are you watching football again? Hahaha wish you were there to give me a back massage (husband's name) is not home and I feel lonely"

Nothing all day for my mother, myself, her paternal half-siblings , her father. No even hi everyone.

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That sounds very odd, op.

SheilaFentiman · 29/04/2023 07:52

Victoria would be lovely, OP.

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 28/04/2023 23:15

Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 21:25

Yes, but isn't Nicola a bit 70's ? I was thinking about Victoria after looking up the etymology of Nicolas.

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A bit 1970s? It has one letter difference. Since you are absolutely so adamant that you MUST name a child after your father, I wouldn't have thought that would matter!

PousseyNotMoira · 28/04/2023 22:34

whumpthereitis · 28/04/2023 19:27

She has one father. Her stepfather is not a parent in any legal sense, doesn’t consider her to be his daughter, and doesn’t consider her daughter to be his grandchild.

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doesn’t consider her to be his daughter, and doesn’t consider her daughter to be his grandchild.

According to OP, who isn’t coming across as a rational or reliable narrator, tbh.