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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Annoyed that my sister named her baby after my father

365 replies

Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:02

Hello everyone. I have already posted on reddit and people were in majority saying that I was an assh*le. So I thought my not ask mothers/future mothers or fathers what they think rather than a bunch of adolescents.

I am pregnant, due July the 14 with a little girl that I was planning on naming him after my father. My sister was also pregnant and gave birth on the 4th of April to a gorgeous girl she named after my father ( Think Daniel/Danielle , Alexander/Alexandra). I am happy for her but I am so annoyed.

He is not her father, but mine. Our mum met my dad when my sister was 2 , they got married and had me 8 years later.
She has a father, he didn't abandon her. She is in good terms with her and our mother and even goes play golf with my father.

So why name your baby after my father? It is his first grandchild. I wanted it to be special for him.

Should I say something or just move on?

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Original poster
Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:31

My sister's first child is named after her already. So I can't use it.

OP posts:
SausageMonkey2 · 28/04/2023 17:31

WHY DID YOU NOT TALK TO HER BEFORE NOW? My sister and I had our children 8 weeks apart (twice!) and each time we spoke very early on about names only with each other and our husbands. I only ever wanted one name (my daughter is the youngest of the two elder ones) and I told her that - not in a confrontational way but as two sisters speaking openly together.

Had she known - I would want to know why she gazumped you. If she didn’t then she isn’t psychic and clearly has a lot of love and respect for your dad.

VintedoreBay · 28/04/2023 17:31

Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:23

Well guess I am going to name my baby after her dad and then she will be all angry and make a big scandal.

Your half-sister won't care, and you'll come across petty.

Your half-sister clearly adores and respects her step-father and has a great relationship with him. You should be proud of them both for that!

Name your baby whatever you want. But please be a better role model.

OlivesAreNice · 28/04/2023 17:30

I agree with you, OP. He's your dad, not hers.

I think, if most people actually had this happen to them in real life, they'd also feel the same.

But it's MN where nobody "owns" a name and you're not allowed to feel aggrieved and all siblings and cousins within a family can have the same name. 🙄

MoreCloudsThanYouCanImagine · 28/04/2023 17:30

Ouch! You've had some really tough replies! Congratulations on your little one. I can completely understand why you are upset. I'd be hurt too.

I do think it's going to have to be an upset that you keep to yourself though. No point in upsetting your sister now. I'm hoping she was just thoughtless. As per pp I do wonder how her own father feels about it.

How's your relationship with your dad? I think I would say to him that I was going to name baby after you but sister got there first, as names come up in conversation.

The internet can be a brutal place sometimes!

I have two cousins with the same name. Born in the 60s. Mumsnet frowns on this it seems, judging by the baby names board (as an aside, it amuses me that it's called baby names - as names are for life I tend to think it could be just 'names')

Why not just choose a name that you really like, and not worry about it being after someone 💕

Mamette · 28/04/2023 17:30

I think you should just name your baby as you had planned.

Everyone on here telling you that your sister has the right to call her baby what she pleases- well that applies to you too.

You say she’s 10 years older and you live in different worlds- so no big deal if your DC have the same name.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 28/04/2023 17:30

Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:08

I am not planning on changing her name. I just want to ask her so bad why?

Because she loves him. Next question ‘ why don’t you love her’?

LadyEuphorbiaAirPod · 28/04/2023 17:30

Use the name if you want to, or don't. No one else's business, just as it's not your business what name she picked.

Original poster
Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:30

If only you knew her. She will care and I will get in trouble with everyone for upsetting her. I will hear about it for 10 years. So you're right, I am just gonna move on. Best thing to do.

OP posts:
FatGirlSwim · 28/04/2023 17:29

Then name your baby after your mum. Problem solved.

MrNorrell · 28/04/2023 17:29

*her, not him, sorry.

PickledScrump · 28/04/2023 17:28

I’m hoping your hormones are making you this ridiculous and you’re not usually this silly. Definitely move on and be happy for her

MrNorrell · 28/04/2023 17:28

Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:23

Well guess I am going to name my baby after her dad and then she will be all angry and make a big scandal.

Or she might react like most reasonable adults and not give a shit what you name your kid?

There's no law against cousins having the same name, OP. Just name him what you were planning to and say that you'd already been planning to name him after your dad if anyone asks.

SirChenjins · 28/04/2023 17:28

@Maxinemumof2 I'll ask again, why not name your DD after your mum? Then all this angst can be avoided.

Quveas · 28/04/2023 17:27

Tookeffort81 · 28/04/2023 17:04

I am with Reddit

Gosh. Never thought I'd ever say this. Me too!

As you'll find out, kids have no memory of "before 2". Her biological father may be around, but the only real father she has ever known is the lesson her mother married. It's an honour to "your" father that she thinks of him so highly. He must be a very special person. Perhaps you could try to not be jealous and vindictive, and find a solution instead of creating problems.

Alternatively you might try some other forums. Somewhere out there there may be a place for you.

Original poster
Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:26

SquirrellyTheSquirrel · 28/04/2023 17:23

Judging by your username, this isn’t your first baby. Why didn’t you name a previous child after your father?

You sound jealous that your sister has such a great relationship with him.

No the mumof2 is a joke about my dog. It's my first baby. I am not jealous of her at all.

Again, we never really lived in the same world, she used to play dolls with me and do my hair. I don't remember much of her in my childhood. When I was 10 she was already 20.

OP posts:
Tookeffort81 · 28/04/2023 17:25

Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:24

Yup. She is a fantastic woman! Thank you.

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So she’s a fantastic woman so trust her when she says that there is nothing wrong with this!!

RedHelenB · 28/04/2023 17:25

PauseTheRain · 28/04/2023 17:06

Did she know you wanted to name your baby after your dad?

This. Have a boy next time and then you can name him after your dad.

Tookeffort81 · 28/04/2023 17:24

Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:23

Well guess I am going to name my baby after her dad and then she will be all angry and make a big scandal.

do you love the name?

if so, go for it

i very much doubt she’ll care

Original poster
Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:24

Tookeffort81 · 28/04/2023 17:20

I will take a punt op that your mother has no problem with this whatsoever and thinks it is lovely

Yup. She is a fantastic woman! Thank you.

OP posts:
ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 28/04/2023 17:24

Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:23

Well guess I am going to name my baby after her dad and then she will be all angry and make a big scandal.

She won't because she will act like a normal adult. Do as you wish though.

SirChenjins · 28/04/2023 17:24

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 28/04/2023 17:18

That would be too easy. She probably would have found fault with any family name her sister chose.

Show quote history

Who knows - but it seems like the obvious solution.

SquirrellyTheSquirrel · 28/04/2023 17:23

Judging by your username, this isn’t your first baby. Why didn’t you name a previous child after your father?

You sound jealous that your sister has such a great relationship with him.

Original poster
Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:23

Well guess I am going to name my baby after her dad and then she will be all angry and make a big scandal.

OP posts:
Original poster
Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:21

SeulementUneFois · 28/04/2023 17:15

I agree with you OP.
Was she jealous of you when you were born? Is she trying to "claim" your father as hers maybe - although she already had her involved father? What were/are the dynamics while you were growing up? (And now)

So, she would go to her dad's every other week and come back home. She didn't get along with her step-mum, so was often at home when she was a teen.

Her dad was with us sometimes during weekends. A very nice man. Today, we all kinda live in the same area of the country.

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