Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Annoyed that my sister named her baby after my father

365 replies

Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:02

Hello everyone. I have already posted on reddit and people were in majority saying that I was an assh*le. So I thought my not ask mothers/future mothers or fathers what they think rather than a bunch of adolescents.

I am pregnant, due July the 14 with a little girl that I was planning on naming him after my father. My sister was also pregnant and gave birth on the 4th of April to a gorgeous girl she named after my father ( Think Daniel/Danielle , Alexander/Alexandra). I am happy for her but I am so annoyed.

He is not her father, but mine. Our mum met my dad when my sister was 2 , they got married and had me 8 years later.
She has a father, he didn't abandon her. She is in good terms with her and our mother and even goes play golf with my father.

So why name your baby after my father? It is his first grandchild. I wanted it to be special for him.

Should I say something or just move on?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
inadarkdarkhouseinadarkdarkstreet · 28/04/2023 17:54

OP I'd be a bit irritated in this situation, I'd think fair enough if he was the only dad she'd ever known but as you've said that's not the case here. I can't see how anything would be improved by you saying anything now though! I'd research if there are any variants of your Dad's name that you like that you may not currently be aware of, or, possibly if you named your little one after one of his parent's or grandparents maybe? He might be really touched by that. It's a shame this didn't come up for discussion earlier in both your pregnancies.

Original poster
Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:54

Newmum0322 · 28/04/2023 17:51

So he’s actually been a father figure to her longer than you…

Im with Reddit. Please grow up.

Show quote history

Why is my father her father figure more than her own father who took care of her?

Again, she also has known my mother longer than me. Even the existence of Mars and Neptune. It doesn't change the fact that she has her own father

OP posts:
BanditsOnTheHorizon · 28/04/2023 17:53

Call your baby the same name, no one has a claim on a name. Doesn't matter if cousins have the same name.

PurpleFlower1983 · 28/04/2023 17:52

It’s frustrating but as she didn’t know your plans she’s not really at fault. I would go with the middle name for your DD.

RoseFl0wers · 28/04/2023 17:52

YANBU. Going against pretty much everyone in this thread. He is your bio dad. Your half sister has a different bio dad that was/is also very present in her life. Did she know you wanted to use that name?

Original poster
Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:51

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 17:48

So you hadn't actually decided you wanted to name your child after your dad, just that you wanted a family name, and she already had one child named after your mom, so if anything you're copying her with the family link, surely?

Lol, ok.

OP posts:
Newmum0322 · 28/04/2023 17:51

Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:16

She is not my stepsister, she is my sister, well half-sister. We share a mother. To be honest, her and I lived in different world. By the time I was 10, she was already 20 and gone.

Show quote history

So he’s actually been a father figure to her longer than you…

Im with Reddit. Please grow up.

TonTonMacoute · 28/04/2023 17:49

cryinglaughing · 28/04/2023 17:44

Call your baby the same name 🤷🏻

This, then you sister can come on here and moan that her sister has copied her child's name, and we can all lay into her!

In DHs family it has long been a tradition to give all the first born sons the same name, so all the cousins have the same name, either as a first or middle name, and everyone seems fine with this.

ThatFraggle · 28/04/2023 17:49

I have cousin with the same name. My mother's sister's child and her brother's child. They have different surnames. It's no big deal.

One is known (for example) as Chrisy and the other Chris for Christopher.

Original poster
Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:49

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 28/04/2023 17:46

Use the same name then?

My parents were quite happy to give me the same name as 2 older cousins.

I'm still relatively sane, even though I've felt 2nd choice for my Mum for all of my life.

Thank you for sharing. I don't want my daughter to ever feel that way.

OP posts:
ViperHalliwell · 28/04/2023 17:48

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 28/04/2023 17:44

Highly doubt your father apologised and as you didn't even know yourself which family members name you wanted, how the hell did you expect her to know? Did she take a crystal ball to the labour room?

Show quote history

OP's dad apologised to OP's sister's dad, presumably because he found it odd or thought there might be some hurt or resentment that the stepfather's name was used instead of the father's. I can see this, esp as the older sibling has the mother's name. None of that required knowing that OP also wanted to use the name.

riotlady · 28/04/2023 17:48

Wow, your attitude to your sister is really unkind. I come from a similar family- my stepdad came into my life when I was 4, my sister was born when I was 8- and I absolutely consider him to be my dad and would be heartbroken if anyone suggested my daughter wasn’t his grandchild.

WeeblesWobbled · 28/04/2023 17:48

You've got no choice but to move on, have you? You've a right to be upset imho - not because you were more entitled to the name, but just because you missed out on the opportunity to use it and would naturally be miffed. However the deed is done now. Choose another brilliant name.

GoodChat · 28/04/2023 17:48

So you hadn't actually decided you wanted to name your child after your dad, just that you wanted a family name, and she already had one child named after your mom, so if anything you're copying her with the family link, surely?

Original poster
Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:47

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 28/04/2023 17:44

Highly doubt your father apologised and as you didn't even know yourself which family members name you wanted, how the hell did you expect her to know? Did she take a crystal ball to the labour room?

Show quote history

Ok. You know my life better than me. Guess you do have a crystal ball!

OP posts:
Takemehome7 · 28/04/2023 17:46

just use the same name

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 28/04/2023 17:46

Use the same name then?

My parents were quite happy to give me the same name as 2 older cousins.

I'm still relatively sane, even though I've felt 2nd choice for my Mum for all of my life.

Original poster
Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:46

NoFall · 28/04/2023 17:40

It does seem a bit strange that she’s named her child after her step dad if she has a good bio dad. But if she’s a bit weird like that, just distance yourself and get on with your life. You’ll waste a lot of time dealing with family ‘games’ if you let yourself. But trust me, it’s easier to just think fuck ‘em and do what you want to do.

I’d recommend giving your child a name that isn’t anyone else’s in your family. She’s a brand new little person who can have a name of her own.

Thank you. Your response gave me a whole new perspective. You are right. She is a new person

OP posts:
ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 28/04/2023 17:45

(If you don't name your kids after a family member, it doesn't mean you love them less)

Tookeffort81 · 28/04/2023 17:45

Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:31

My sister's first child is named after her already. So I can't use it.

Love you throwing that in there

i don’t believe you

AliceOlive · 28/04/2023 17:44

Can you do a variation?

Dannielle, Danniella kind of thing?

Id be annoyed too, give the details you’ve added

cryinglaughing · 28/04/2023 17:44

Call your baby the same name 🤷🏻

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 28/04/2023 17:44

So you spoke to her about it and said you wanted to name your baby after a family member but not sure who?

I don't think that's very fair to be slagging her off. That would have blocked out (I'm guessing) quite a few people you share so if she was sure that's the name she wanted quite early, I don't blame her for going for it.

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 28/04/2023 17:44

Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:41

I tried to chat few times about it. She wanted it to be a surprise. I told her I wanted to name the baby after a family member but I wasn't sure who yet.

When we arrived in the hospital. Even my dad was surprised to find little him. So now she has little my mum and little my dad.

I don't know if Her father was hurt when he came in during the weekend. But My father apologised to him.

Show quote history

Highly doubt your father apologised and as you didn't even know yourself which family members name you wanted, how the hell did you expect her to know? Did she take a crystal ball to the labour room?

Original poster
Maxinemumof2 · 28/04/2023 17:43

Lachimolala · 28/04/2023 17:40

This would really annoy and upset me. You’re better than me because I would’ve asked her about it.

If she says " X, he is like my dad" I'd at least have a reason. Wrong or not - according to me-.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread