Annoyed that my sister named her baby after my father

I'd be pissed off and i'd tell her why it's upset me

There's no family tradition here. OP told her she wanted to name her child after a family member but she didn't know who yet, which is quite strange.

Her sister had already named her first child after their mother.

You can still use the name. Cousins with the same / similar name is really not an issue in real life only on mumsnet

She uses your dad’s name because she loves him. He’s been in her life since she was two years old and she loves him. It’s really that simple.

‘She has her own dad’ doesn’t impact on that. Perhaps she loves them equally, perhaps she loves your dad more. It’s honestly none of your business, as you don’t own your father, you don’t get to gatekeep who loves him and how much, or how they choose to express that love.

The overwhelming majority of posters on two very different platforms have told you that they think you’re wrong. As you’re apparently unwilling to accept either that YTA or YABU, what is it you’re hoping to achieve here?

YABVU. He’s raised her since she was two. He IS her father. How mean of you to say he isn’t!

I am clearly in a minority but I’d be annoyed too. I wouldn’t say anything but I’d be quite gutted.

We had a similar situation. My bil found out when baby was a few months old he was a father. He stepped up. Baby was called the same name as his grandfather. (Absolute fluke as he did not name baby) fast forward to me and DH having a baby. We decided on a name. It was my DH grandmothers name. Bil said even if you call baby by that name I will also call my next child same name. We chose a different name (really pleased we did) bil was true to his word and called next child the grandmothers name. Really pissed me off at the time.

It sounds like your bio dad / her step dad spent a lot more time bringing her up than her own bio dad did. She was only with him every other weekend, it's not that much in comparison. Is it so hard for you to believe that someone can be closer to their step dad than their bio dad?

😂 also this. Quite strange to carry on the name with the first names. Just imagining my daughter Stevenia really loving her name 😂

Maxinemumof2 · Today 17:02
So why name your baby after my father? It is his first grandchild

Because she likes the name and probably your father too ?
As PPs have said, that doesn't have to mean that you can't use it too.

OP, I can sort of see why you feel put out, but would it help if you look at it from the angle that she clearly loves / appreciates your father, which is a great thing, rather than seeing it as something that she might have done to slight you?

@Maxinemumof2 I have to say I'd be pretty pissed too. But unfortunately nothing you can do about it now. Did your sister know you were planning on using that name?

OP I can see why you’re frustrated and it’s always a bit complicated with blended families so there are probably other elements at play that have led you to feel resentful. Why don’t you honour your mother or fathers line by choosing a grandparents name? Or choose a totally different first name and then keep the dad name as your baby’s middle name (or choose your mums name for baby’s middle name). You can say that you don’t want them to have same first name as cousins but still wanted to carry on the family names with the middle names.

This woman has called her first born after her/your mum and her second child a variation of your dads name, who isn’t her dad? Wtf? She’s mad. Is she trying to be the favourite? 🤣 I’m imagining your mum and dad to be called Claire and Paul and she’s got these two poor kids called Claire and Paula. 🤣 What a nutter!🤣

I think call your daughter something new, something that suits her when you see her, and keep her out of the family name weirdness. She’ll thank you for it one day. 😉

MN is always odd about family names and acts as though there are no conventions around using them whereas in RL families usually talk about names and respect various traditions.
I can see why you're upset OP. It is odd that she named her DC after your DF instead of her own.
If you still want to honour your DF then you could use a different version of the name or choose a name that has a similar meaning. There isn't any point saying anything to her. It's done.

Did you start this thread in the hope she’d see it? It’s quite specific about some circumstances.

Just give your baby her own name. Your sister has two kids named after both parents, it's nice but unnecessary. Give her her own name!

@Maxinemumof2 you already have 2 children. If naming one after your father was so important, why didn't you name one if them after him? Who are they named after?

You do that 😂 your username says mum of 2, so if it was that important to you, you'd have used the name before. Get a grip.

I can see it from both sides - disappointing for you but also he was like a father to her for as long as she can remember so I don't think this is any different situation than if she were his biological daughter and just happened to get in there first. I'd just be glad that you have such a lovely dad that you both want to honour him. Don't fall out over it.

I had some sympathy with you until this point. Albeit I still think PPs are out of line for suggesting you sound an 'unpleasant person', this attitude is incredibly petty and immature.

Do you want the name of your beloved baby - a name they will carry their entire life - to be a gift of love or bestowed in a fit of pique? You'll then be reminded every time you say that name that it came from a place of resentment. Don't do it - either to yourself or your daughter.

Choose a name you like, not one intended to prove a point. A diminutive or variant of either your mother's or father's name, perhaps.

You can allow this situation to cloud what should be one of the happiest times of your life, or you can choose not to. Up to you.

No she didn't know. OP didn't either because she hadn't decided.