Would I be crazy to change my 10 month baby name

Hello GGD123,

My daughter is now 2.5 years old, and we changed her name when she was 10 months old—I only wish we had done it sooner.

I struggled deeply with anxiety and depression over her original name. I found myself constantly thinking about it, and it really affected how I experienced that early time with her. But the moment we changed it, I felt an enormous weight lift. I finally felt at peace, and now I absolutely love her name—I truly can't imagine her being called anything else.

Yes, I still occasional get mum guilt knowing her birth certificate shows the old name at the top and the new one at the bottom. But honestly, how often do we really use a birth certificate? We're planning to get her passport soon, and I can’t see us needing the birth certificate for ID. And as time has passed, I think about it less and less. Now, I just see it as part of her story.

I think because changing a child’s name isn’t the “norm”, we worry too much about what others will think. But the truth is, people change names or go by nicknames all the time as they grow up.

At the end of the day, this is your baby, and the name you choose for them is what truly matters. Legally changing it just makes that choice official.

I hope this helps and I wish you all the best - whatever your decision. Xx

@AshleaE do you still worry about the BC having the old name on it? Im in the same boat xx

Thank you posters for posting your experiences. It’s always good to read about the outcomes and here they are all so positive ( in accordance with my expectation) 😸
Its very unlikely a very young baby realises that a familiar word (name) refers to itself and most families don’t naturally talk to the baby using it’s name 100% of the time. I wonder about parental feeling regarding the pressure to name a newborn in places where the birth is registered before mother and child leave the hospital?

My friend done this years ago when her baby was 2 yrs old. No problem at all changing her baby name. From Khali (Indian goddess of death)!! Which I pointed out to her, to Carli !!

My son's name is Kiran (Indian , meaning sun and light) and Irish spelling is Cairan (darkness) He loves his name!!!

@Highlyflavouredgravy , when you have a baby you are urged to name the baby pretty much straight away, and you are emotionally and hormonally a bit all over the place. Often, the father will push for his choice of name.

With my amateur psychologist hat on, I think it's a bit like this. The mother might feel that she didn't get to choose, and might start to fixate on the name. The name becomes the issue and it just doesn't feel right, which leads to depression. Or maybe it's PND but the name gets blamed.

Changing the name is a way the mother can regain some 'control', and that sense of control helps relieve the MH issue.

Obviously, this is just my take, but the threads come up fairly regularly on here.

I think your reaction is bonkers.
When I had name regret I eventually developed PND as a result. Once i changed the name I was back to my normal self.
More damaging to a child to have a mum that is struggling to bond and do anything with them (and who knows when it will go away since not changing the name!), than to simply start calling the baby another name.

No as I added their new name to the beginning of their name if that makes sense.
I didn't take any names out - just added an extra one at the start.

I can't remember what I did about birth certificate, would have to dig it out but I think I got one which shows the new addition to their name - not entirely sure - it was a long time ago and I don't have it to hand.

Well said, @AshleaE .
@Highlyflavouredgravy , baby name regret is thought to be linked to PND and your lack of tact and empathy is shocking. Learn to think before you post.

Hi @Highlyflavouredgravy , I appreciate that everyone is entitled to their own opinions on the matter, however I do think your choice of wording could have been more sensitive.

This is an issue that can really impact someone’s mental health and has been linked to PND. It’s not about “focusing on something else” as you put it. This issue consumes you. Hearing the name, seeing the name, thinking about the name literally makes you feel and be physically sick and no amount of therapy or drugs can change that.

I would know and it’s certainly not something I would wish or “advocate” for anyone to go through.

In my own experience, the baby actually picks up their new name very quickly and responds to that. My baby and I have had no attachment issues whatsoever. I show my baby all the love and attention that she needs regardless of the name / nicknames that I give her and she always calls for me over anyone else.

Yes, in hindsight I would have picked the name I have for her now, but unfortunately I can’t change the past. But what I can do, is focus on making the future better and in doing so I have no name regrets whatsoever. I love her new name, it really suits her and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I think it is bonkers.
I can't believe so many people are advocating this.
The baby knows his name! And will respond to it.

It can't be good, attachment wise, to change their name.

I think you need something else to focus on.

@AshleaE I started feeling the regret properly when he was 4 months old, but we didn't start calling him the new name until he was 6 months. I knew that we had until he was 12 months to change his birth certificate, so didn't get it officially changed until he was nearly a year. No real reason we waited, but I didn't want to rush it! He's 19 months old now. The regret was all me, which I feel a bit of guilt towards my husband, but there were reasons why the name wasn't 'right'. He didn't have any connections to the name (it originates from a different country), the new name I had wanted to use for years (I chose it 5 years before he was born!) and in all honesty I just think the name suited him and was a much cooler name than the old one.
It definitely helps to know there's others like us out there!

@Tjjd2023 thanks for responding. I’m glad I’m not alone in this! My husband seems unfazed by it all, but here I am worrying about it and wondering what she’ll think when she’s older.

I do much prefer the name given to our daughter now. As for her previous name no one could pronounce it correctly; people were saying all sorts and it was a fairly straightforward name. Even family members were saying it wrong despite constantly correcting them.

How old was your son when you changed the name and how old is he now?

I changed my son's name and this does frustrate me a bit but nothing in comparison to what I'd be feeling if I'd have kept the name I regretted! We will tell him all about it anyway so it's not a massive deal. I don't think I've ever really looked at my birth certificate, just shown it when I've needed to.

@wordsthreerandom did you ever worry about the birth certificate having the older name on it? Or did that worry ease with time?

I did it. No regrets at all.
My child suits their name much better now and I can't imagine still calling them their original name.
It was really straightforward to do at the time.

Yes.It is batshit crazy.

Thanks @Princessstefanie. I guess it is what it is and I can’t change the past. At least the name is changed now (which I now love) and I’m sure over time it will be something I won’t think or worry about.

I think it’s fine and agree better to do it sooner rather than later? Will it be your decision alone or do you need to convince his dad that changing his name is the way to go?

Yeah it does, but her ID will all be in her proper name so it's not so bad

Thanks for replying @Princessstefanie that’s great to hear! I feel like we definitely made the right choice to change our little ones name. The only thing that gets me is the birth certificate still has the old name on it. Does that bother you at all?

No I don't regret it
I feel like the new name is her name. She just turned one and everyone knows her by her new name now. i'm glad we kept the old name as a middle name so it's still part of her identity.

@AshleaE , I know someone who accidentally misspelt a baby's name when registering it. They spelt it out and accidentally got the order wrong. They had it corrected and they still regret that the original name is on the BC. Not the name but something like Isaac registered as Issac.
I can't remember when I last needed my birth certificate, I use my passport for ID.

Hi Princess Stefanie,

just wondering whether you still regretted the name change now?

I’ve just changed my daughters name and she is 7 months ( we registered her at 1 month so been using the name for 6 months). Tbf we haven’t used the name much as we call her the baby or baba (which my son uses) a lot. Same as you I felt pressured into picking a name and selected one but it never really felt right to me. We’ve kept her old name as an extra middle name so it’s still part of her name. Just so you know you can change it once before one years old, after then it will need to be done by deed poll or i think you can do it through baptising . Also the birth name will never change on the birth certificate. It will always be the same in the original section and the amended name will be in a section on the back of the certificate. I still feel really unsure whether it was the right decision as everyone had gotten used to the other name and i was told I would probably end up liking it as she she got older.

Agree with all the others. Just do it.

I come from a culture where you have your official registered name, your informal name and a family name (nickname). All are used interchangeably and no one blinks. Try the new name on for size for a bit and see how you get on if you want to...