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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Sentimental Middle Name - Nervous to ask family friends!

109 replies

H1994 · 06/04/2023 10:30

Hi!

I'm 35 weeks pregnant and my OH and I have chosen a first name for our daughter - neither of us have a meaningful middle name, but wanted her to have one.

Family friends of ours lost their daughter in 2021 at aged 23 - she was an absolute angel, the most beautiful, kind and strong young woman you'd ever meet and we thought who else more inspirational to name her after.

We're heading to family friends house this evening to ask if I'd be okay for their daughters name, to be our daughters middle name - but I'm nervous... I don't want to upset them or make them feel pressured - as it's absolutely fine if they're not comfortable to let us use it!

Any advice or thoughts?

Thank you!

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Tidsleytiddy · 06/04/2023 10:41

Yes, ask and see what they say. That’s all you can do. You’ve obviously given this a lot of thought which is kind

Original poster
H1994 · 06/04/2023 10:41

@stickygotstuck thank you - and yes, this is what I'm nervous about, I don't want to cause any upset at all, which is why I'll say there is 0 pressure at all... hopefully it goes well

OP posts:
stickygotstuck · 06/04/2023 10:39

Personally, I think it's a lovely thing.
It's right that you are asking your friends. Chances are they would like it, but at the same time they may find it upsetting, especially as their loss is quite recent.

Original poster
H1994 · 06/04/2023 10:39

@pinkyredrose If it is used within their family and they agree with you and find it 'very odd' of us, then I'm pretty sure they'll say - which is absolutely fine :) we can pick another name.

OP posts:
Ridingfree · 06/04/2023 10:39

Sorry but as you are not family I find it a bizarre request and one they will feel pressured to say yes to as you are meeting in person. Unless you are SO close they are like family this Is an over step

Why the pressure on the middle name it doesn't need to be linked to anyone just a name You love. Or No need for one at all

Tidsleytiddy · 06/04/2023 10:39

It’s such a nice way to honour their daughter who sounds lovely

Original poster
H1994 · 06/04/2023 10:38

@Tidsleytiddy thank you - yeah of course... we wouldn't want to just claim it, I'll definitely say that there is no pressure whatsoever, it's okay and understandable if they're not okay with it.

OP posts:
Tidsleytiddy · 06/04/2023 10:34

I think it’s a lovely idea. I also think it’s right to ask them first

pinkyredrose · 06/04/2023 10:34

Don't do it. It's very odd. Their daughter's name might be used by someone in their family, that would be more fitting.

It isn't compulsory to have a middle name, you can just do without one.