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Baby names

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Original poster

Struggling to cope with baby name popularity

80 replies

Leeloo1233 · 01/02/2023 08:57

We had a tough time naming our baby. It took us really long, partly because I had severe PND and the name decision caused me a lot of anxiety. The names that I had always pictured I would give to my kids didn't work in my partner's language/culture. Every name seemed to cause me anxiety and I got lost in what I actually liked and didn't like until everything was a blur and we couldn't even narrow down our list of 20 names.

Eventually we picked a name that is quite common, but that my partner loves. I thought it was fine, and there was nothing else that I liked more and just wanted to giver her a name before I got more ill.

Now she's two, and I hear her name everywhere. And not just her name, but variations of the name to the point that every child seems to sound the same. We went to visit a daycare today that had three kids with a variation of her name, and I got so anxious I don't think I can choose that place, despite it being otherwise nice.

How do I cope with this and move past this? I feel so much regret that out of thousands of names we considered we settled for a name so boring and unimaginative.

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desperadodogface · 01/02/2023 09:34

If it helps, I was given a unique name and I've spent my whole life hating it, having to spell it and having it mispronounced. Nothing wrong with a common name IMO. Both my girls have names in the top 100. My eldest had the number 1 name in our region of the UK when she was born and was one of 3 with the same name in her nursery room. She was even known as her first name with two letters of her surname to differentiate her from the other little girl with the same initials. It hasn't affected her one bit

TraumaQueenMama · 01/02/2023 09:34

I had a similar wobble with my son's name. Except I chose an uncommon name and the anxiety came from whether I'd made a mistake and people making ridiculous barely relatable shortenings of it because they wanted a more traditional name. (Think shortening Finnian to Ian!)

I think I got past it about nine or ten months. This may have coincided with using his name more as he was a lockdown baby so we didn't go anywhere and I called him nicknames a lot. Are you using the name yourself enough?

It will be annoying that the name is popular but perhaps you could look at it that it is popular because it is a nice name with a nice sound?

Does she have a middle name too? Remember that will help separate her from the crowd and can be an affectionate nickname (eh I was first name shortened, middle name shortened as a small child- Think Jenny Anne.

Are you over the pnd as well, because there is no set time for it being over and might be effecting your perceptions still.

LulooLemon · 01/02/2023 09:33

If the name is common, that means it's popular because a lot of people love it.

I would much sooner be called a popular lovely name than something weird that is met with a raised eyebrow every time I introduce myself, follows by the inevitable request for its spelling.

Be proud of the great name you have given your child. 🙂

Cuppasoupmonster · 01/02/2023 09:31

In a gentle way OP, there’s nothing to ‘cope’ with. It’s a complete non issue, not even close to a problem. My daughter’s name is fairly common, it makes no difference to anything.

CastleTower · 01/02/2023 09:27

That sounds really difficult, I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

I think there's a lot of pressure on parents nowadays to use the name to show how special and unique their child is, and (as part of that) their great and original taste.

In reality, I think if the worst you can say about a name is that it's "boring" then you're doing fine.

Just to give another perspective - I have a name that's very common in my generation. There were often several around, with various spellings and shortenings. Even now, I'm often in work meetings with others of the same name. But I love my name - I never gave its popularity any thought when I was young at all. I didn't feel less special - my name always felt special and meaningful to me.