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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Surname

63 replies

CityBlue37 · 21/12/2022 08:08

My partner and I are not married (engaged 3years). We are having our first baby in 3 months and I'm really unsure whose surname the baby should have?
I don't like the idea of our baby having a different surname to me and we will get married within the next couple of years in which case we can change her name then but am I being selfish and over complicating things and should I just go with his surname?
Any thoughts?

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Hwicks · 21/12/2022 11:55

We gave our son my partners surname but changed it at 6mo to both of ours.. not hyphenated. We plan on doing the same with our next baby due next month.

Sundala · 21/12/2022 11:51

Your surname. You can change it upon marriage if you want to, yours and the baby's. An engagement is not a marriage and offers you none of the legal protections.

If you did separate, your child has your surname and it makes it easy to change should you wish to in the future. However, if you had given your baby his surname a court likes a child to keep their Father's name so if he says no to a surname change, you cannot ever change it whilst the child is still a child. They can change it themselves at 16.

As said above your baby in hospital will most likely be labelled as Baby Your Surname.

meditrina · 21/12/2022 11:42

It's traditional in Britain for babies to take their mother's surname (which of course matched the fathers if married)

It's quire recent (1980s-ish) to use a name other than the mothers, and it can cause problems (esp following relationship breakdown).

I'd go traditional and stick with using the mother's name

KirstenBlest · 21/12/2022 11:26

Your surname. You can change the child's name when you get married.

Being engaged doesn't mean anything legally. You'll probably find that the time isn't right, you have different financial priorities etc

Ocrumbs · 21/12/2022 08:16

In the hospital they will be baby yourname whatever happens

Flapjackquack · 21/12/2022 08:15

Traditionally children have their mother’s surname in the UK. Definitely go with yours.

BuffaloCauliflower · 21/12/2022 08:14

Definitely give baby your name. It’s always been traditional that babies get mum’s name (if married she may have taken the dad’s name but it’s still then her name) the idea of giving Dad’s name when unmarried is a very new idea. If you change your name on marriage you can change their name then if you wish.

Dacadactyl · 21/12/2022 08:14

And it is dead easy to change the birth certificate and totally uncomplicated to do so if you do end up getting married.

AntiqueCestChic · 21/12/2022 08:14

Your surname or double barrelled with both surnames.

I really regret giving DC my partner's surname and not mine - had always thought we would get married but it never happened, so now kids have his surname only.

Dacadactyl · 21/12/2022 08:12

100% your surname.

If he wants to change it, he can marry you.

I have been in this situation and I gave DD my surname (although we had only been together 5 months when I got pregnant with her). When we married 3 years later, we legally changed it to his surname.

I suspect he will never marry you otherwise.

Lulualoo · 21/12/2022 08:11

Definitely the mother’s name.

Ocrumbs · 21/12/2022 08:10

Yours or double barrelled

Numbat2022 · 21/12/2022 08:10

Very sensible, baby gets the mother's surname.

Do you even want to change your name when you get married? You don't have to.

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