Surname

Your name.

You're not married until you're married. Then if you take his name, you can easily change your baby's surname, but if you don't get married the child has the same name as their primary cater (except the very minute percentage where Dad becomes the primary carer).

Ah that's interesting, thank you.

I so wish I'd put my foot down and insisted on my little one having my surname. We weren't married and have now split up. She's with me most of the time

Only if the mother is married to the father. The trend for babies (who are born to an unmarried couple) being given the dad's surname is pretty new.

Children should be re registered after a marriage or civil partnership

If the parents have married or enter into a civil partnership after the child was born, they are legally required to re-register the birth. This is the case even if the father is already on the child’s birth certificate. This particular requirement stems from The Legitimacy Act, section 9.
The relevant form is LA1.
In the event that the father did not already have parental responsibility, the father will acquire parental responsibility once the birth has been re-registered in accordance with Section 4, sub-section 1 (a) of the Children Act 1989.

childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/register-and-re-register-a-childs-birth/

It's a legal requirement but the fine is £2 for not doing so iirc 
@Dacadactyl

Each to their own but we did dad's surname only then i changed mine when we got married a couple of years after he was born. It was right for us. We now all have the same surname and have also had another baby.

Yours. 100 times over.

Yours or double barrelled.

I always think the child should take the mothers surname (whether that is her maiden or married name). Seems odd not to given the process that is gone through for her to have a child.

You and dp can theb decide if after marriage you and dc change to his name or he changes to match you and baby.

Your name. Then, when you marry, he can take this name.

What I mean is that you only re register if you want to change the childs surname, to show "they are a natural child of the parents marriage"...or at least that is my understanding. But I could be wrong.

We aren't married and our children have a doubled barrelled surname. If we marry I will either keep my name or double barrel it. If you go that route be prepared for some push back. My partners father has taken the kids surname as a personal insult and I constantly had to correct him when he accidentally (100% on purpose) called them by the wrong name.

You don't re-register the birth if you get married. Where have you read/heard this? It is not my understanding of it.

I double-barrelled the baby's surname with my name going first!

Yours. If you all want the same surname when you get married he can take yours too.

This is so interesting. My partner and I are not married yet, but I will take his name when we do and we gave our twins his surname. For context, we were engaged and the wedding date set before they were conceived, so in theory it would have been less than a year before we all had the same name anyway. In fact Covid happened, and they will be 4 by the time we actually marry next spring now. But it never occurred to me not to give them his name, really, even though we knew they would need to be re-registered after we married anyway. It doesn't bother me not having the same surname as them right now. I look forward to the day, very soon, when we will.

I thought it was traditional to take the father's name! But you can give the baby your name if you want.

I am glad you found a compromise for your family.

I appreciate that in your case your partner was upset about not featuring at all rather than double barrelling/changing his name. But I have to say I have little time for the men who are upset by the baby not having just their surname. A lot of men seem to take it as a given. The woman does all the work in producing the baby and yet the man seems to think they have a right for the baby to just have their surname and the woman doesn’t get represented at all. Grrrr.

Definitely give the baby your name. Why have you had such a long engagement and still not set a wedding date? Has he kept putting it off?

Although I should add, my partner was so against our daughter just having my name. And he is not some anti-feminist brute. He was really upset at the idea. So you might have need to dig your heels in... family on his side also made their feelings known about it all.

Personally, my child would be having my surname. For us, we weren't engaged but compromised by changing both of our names to something new before our baby arrived.

There was no way on Earth after all the work I'd gone through growing and birthing her (not to mention what I went through breastfeeding her) that she wasn't going to have my name.

Give her your name

When you get married you have to re-register the baby anyway so id give the baby your surname for now and then if/when you get married if you decide to take his name you could change it to match and if you decide to keep your own name you could add his so the baby has both names.

100% this

Definitely your surname. Or both.

Practically it just makes so much more sense. Without wanting to be a buzzkill so many relationships breakdown so it's a no brainer to me that a child should share a surname with its mother/primary carer.