Surname

You get a form to fill in when you get married and it basically re-registers the baby’s birth as a child of the marriage. You can easily change the surname st that point and it’s different to an adults deed poll change.

OP, the baby will automatically have your name at birth, their hospital bracelets will be put as ‘Baby girl / boy CityBlue’ as will their hospital records and red book which details their vaccinations and weighing etc.

babies always have their mothers surname but that is “traditionally” the fathers too as unwed mothers weren’t common and women almost always changed their surname.

if i we’re you I’d keep as either just your surname as baby will have at birth or add his on the end as extra surname but without the hyphen.
this makes it two surnames and easy to drop one, a hyphen makes it one surname.

Many thanks, @Reugny

A deed poll letter for an adult is free in England and Wales. You just need to get two witnesses who don't live in your household to countersign your official declaration of your name change.

The cost is changing your passport and then driving license to this name, then contacting other organisations e.g. your bank, utility companies and getting them to change your name.

(I was going to do a deed poll letter because the Passport Office weren't following their own rules about minor name changes. I wouldn't have needed to change my passport, driving license, etc as I have been using my name as is since I was 16.)

For a child if the reason isn't due to the marriage of their parents it is more convoluted and costly.

You are supposed to re register baby birth certificate after marriage anyway. Change name then, its easy, we did it with DD

Everyone someone does a background check on you, you have to tell them you have changed your name. Most cases you just tell them but in some cases they want to see your deed poll letter.

According to the passport office some name changes are minor e.g. omitting a middle name, but changing a first or last name is a major name change. For a major name change you need a deed poll letter or other evidence that you gone by this name for years. (I had issues with the passport office this summer over my name, even though my partner changed his by deed poll so looked up their rules.) In the UK you can go by any name you like as long as you don't intend to deceive people and it isn't offensive.

Ideally with a child you want to change their name before they become a teen and get exam/degree certificates, as their exam/degree certificates now can only be done using their "official" name. (One of my family members goes by a middle name but has been told their names have to be the same as official documentation.) I have friends who changed their last name in their teens to their step-father's last name without a deed poll being done and so have exam/degree certificates done in that name before this rule came in.

According to a friend she had to pay a load of money to get the surname changed. It wasn't easy at all if I recall.

your surname. You know you don’t have to change yours either

Question to those who say it is easy to change the name: does it cause issues in future? I read that, if you change a name by deed poll, you then have to have another piece of paper to go with your birth certificate when proving your identity. Not a major issue I am sure, but still, just wondering if there are any complications? (We have a surname debate here too.)

You re-register the child as a child of the marriage.

Absolutely your surname.

It depends how much you care about it in all honesty. Personally, I've never liked one half of my double barrelled surname anyway (bullied my whole life for it eventhough it's a traditional Irish surname). And then since as its double barrelled if we were going to use both mine and my ex partner's surnames she would of ended up with a triple barrelled surname😅 so I just gave her his.

And then for my 2nd and 3rd born I'm engaged to their dad and due to get married 2024, and both have his surname. But it's even funnier with him because his surname is also double barrelled, so if we had given the children both our names they'd of ended up with 4 surnames😂 which just sounds mad! Imagine trying to write that on a form!

We went with DH (then darling fiancé) surname. No regrets.

Yes, it did start to change in the 80s, it really is that recent.

I think the traditional way has proved better tbh

That’s weird. My sister and I have our fathers name, our parents were not married and our dad had no role in our upbringing. As we knew it, back in the 80’s 90’s everyone around us also had their fathers name regardless of marriage or fathers presence. Even my mother and all her sisters have their dads surname and again my grandparents were not married and come to think of it I’m sure my dads and all his sisters have their dads name and again my paternal Nan and granddad were never married. So it seems very strange people think this is a “new” thing as in our case it went back to our grandparents and even they (my maternal grandma was born in the 30’s) had her dads surname with her full siblings and again their parents wasn’t married either🤔.

It was only as my sister and I got to teenagers we started to hate how we had our dads surname instead of our mothers and when my sister had her daughter pretty early on she decided she would have both her name and her baby dads name ( her name came first though). I even contemplate right now what surname I will give my baby in a few months when they are born.. I don’t plan to get married but at the same time I still have my hated fathers surname, so considered making a whole new surname up and choosing that and making it my surname also and then double barrel it with my partner.

It’s really easy to change

Mothers surname.

Our first two both had my name until we married and changed all of us to match, the next two both had the family name from birth

I gave my DS my surname. We got married six months later and it’s super easy to change to your married name if you wish to do so. Don’t give him his name without being married.

This isn’t true? I don’t know anyone who has their mothers surname, unless their parents are not together at the time of the birth. And this is including all my school, university, and current friends as well as my family members, my own children, and now my children’s friends!

I’m also a teacher and almost all of my students whose parents are together or were together when the children were born have the father’s surname, which usually the mother has also taken if married.

I initially kept my maiden name upon marriage but changed it later because I felt weird being the only person to have done so that I knew, and everyone assumed I was single or separated upon finding out my surname!

Very, very few children I know even have double-barrelled surnames, to take the mothers and the fathers. Only on Mumsnet does it seem to be a ‘thing’ that a child shouldn’t take their fathers surname.

Traditionally, both the wife and children would take the surname.

Whichever is nicer.

in my case it was a choice of Bacon or Graham which made it a very easy decision

100 percent baby gets Mum's surname. If/when you marry you and baby could choose to take DH name or not do so.

I'd also go with your surname.

Your surname if you aren't married, but don't change it as it will be a pain for her. He can either swap to yours if you marry or just have a different name.

If he wanted your baby to have his name I'd get married before she arrives.

100% your surname and if you get married you can decide

Babies should always have the mothers surname.