Did you fall in love with your compromise name?

My dhs dad died just before I was pregnant with ds, so henhadnhis heart set on naming him after his dad. It wasnt a name I'd have chose but his dad was a lovely person, so it fitted. I got to chose his middle name and luckily one of my favourite names worked really well with it. Then I got to chose my favourite name for dd(as he picked ds's) and it also worked well with one of the names he liked. So I guess that's compromise.. we picked a name each for each child. I'm happy with both their names. Couldn't imagine them as anything else.

Both of mine were a compromise. With dd her name was second choice for both of us (our first choices were also on each other's lists but further down) and now I absolutely love it and would happily put it as first choice.
DS, it was much more of a compromise as we had such wildly different taste in boys' names. It was one neither of us had on our original lists. Quite honestly, I still wouldn't put it as my favourite name out of context but it's his name and I'm so proud of him and who he is, so that doesn't matter.

DD2 has a compromise name and I absolutely adore it. She's 8 months and I am so, so glad DH vetoed my first choice name. Her name is perfect for her. She's definitely not a Tallulah.

I can't remember why I let DH choose but he did. Liked the names but didn't love them I think. It didn't matter for long. Once your child has that name you will adore them and the name. I never really give their names a second thought. They are toddlers and primary age now.

It feels like a very big deal. But it isn't really.

Both of the DC's names were a compromise but in the style/genre we both liked. A decade or so on and their names suit them perfectly and they both really like them.
By chance, if I'd got my way, DC1 and her best friend would have had the same first name and first initial of the surname which would have been a nightmare and DC2 would have been one of three in his primary school class despite it being relatively unusual (they would have been the only three in the entire school in 6 out of the 7 years DC2 has been there)

You pick a name you agree with and name your child that, I can't say I gave it a second thought. What you wrote all sounds very dramatic, once you've given your child the name that's their name. I can't say I "loved" any of the names out there, I liked some more than others obviously. We named all our children after they arrived, we never found out the sex so I didn't stew over names, we had no idea what to name the second and third child so they were no name for several days. Why not pick when the baby arrives?

If you hate the name its not a good compromise.
We didn't use a name that I love for DS because a kid by that name bullied my partner for years.
Obviously we were not going to use it so we picked something we both liked. I was a little sad that I would never use the name but children grow into their names and the one we picked suits him perfectly.

How much do you like the name out of 10 compared to your favourite one? If it’s not a lot then I’d say keep searching rather than going for something you aren’t set on

Bit depressing but I agree with caitlin

Saying that on child no 3 I let DH choose and I really didn't like it but now it is my most favourite name and would be top of my list if I had to write one now.

Honestly, a compromise name is one that you both agree on. If you dislike the name so much that you think it might affect bonding with your baby then that's not a compromise, it's clearly a name you dislike.

I believe that both parents should pick the name together and really make an effort. But if they both have a favourite that the other person likes as well (even if it is not their favourite) I feel like the person who carries the baby, gives birth, has the risk of being injured, will (often) breastfeed, often face career disadvantages and do most of the childcare (and in most relationships it is still the woman, even in 2022) should have more of a say even though that doesn't mean that she can just pick any name, of course her partner should like it too. Then for the next child they can do it the other way around (with the mum still liking the name and being able to veto but the dad having more of a say).

I know lots and lots and lots of people (even my own age) who have zero contact with their dads after their parents divorced and no one who has lost contact with their mum. It's not the case in my family, thankfully, and I am not saying it will be the case in yours OP I am sure you will have a happy marriage, just a general observation. I am sometimes thinking about this as I am pregnant now and even though we are super happy we have quite a few female friends whose husbands or boyfriends insisted on a name and then a few months later that person wasn't in the child's life anymore and that really made me sad so it's a thought that sometimes comes to mind.

My husband and I have different styles yet we managed to come up with a list we both like and I'd genuinely be happy with these names. So I believe you will find a name you both like! Keep on searching and ask for help here, I'm sure people will be glad to help out.

My mum picked my name and my dad picked my sibling's (my mum did pick the middle name, though) and she didn't like it for quite a few months but thinks it suits my sibling now. They picked the name for my other sibling together. It hasn't affected bonding. My dad did tell my mum that if she really didn't warm up to it they would use the middle name, though. So there was that option. So I think that played a huge part because my mum didn't feel pressured into having to like it and didn't feel forced by her husband to use it. There was a plan B. I would recommend that to you as well.

I have international friends who are known by two completely different names because they have one German and one French name, for example. So they get called Frauke by their father's side of the family and Ludivine by the French side (random names as I don't want to write the real ones down). I also know a boy who had a very common name and was Jack within the family but always used his middle name at school and was known as Casper (again random name) among all of his peer. What I'm trying to say is before you pick a name you dislike give her a first name you like, a middle name your husband likes (or the other way around) and call her different names. Children are smart and it won't cause issues. When you think about it lots of people have several completely different nicknames, such as being called Alexandra and being known as Alex among her peers, as Alexandra among her grandparents, as Lexi at home and as Xandra at college. It happens and it works.