Did you fall in love with your compromise name?

My top 3 names were Molly, Beatrice and Grace. DH wanted Alice. DD is called the only name we could agree on, which isn’t any of those 4. It’s a solid 1970s baby name which has completely fallen out of vogue. DD is 10, we have never met another girl under 20 with the same name. It’s very her, although I’m still sad she isn’t called Bea.
DS’s name is a modern/foreign name, but it’s actually his middle name and he just looks like his first name. But he loves his name, so we won’t be changing it.

We don't have a compromise name, but DS's name is not what we originally intended to call him and isn't even one of the other names on our potential list. When he was born we immediately decided he didn't fit any of those names and came up with a name that we had never even thought about! So your baby's name may still change

We had the opposite problem, had a name we both loved, but hearing a relative pronouncing it (Rebecca, Liverpudlian, the cc sounded like hacking up phlegm!) gave us both fingernails on blackboard feelings... so even if you love a name it isn't always "right".

I agree that both parents should agree on the name. As much as I've felt the urge to push for a name I love but know my partner doesn't like, I know that's just not fair to him or the baby. My son's name wasn't a name I ever would've thought of myself, his dad came up with it, and I did have names I loved more but I liked it enough to agree to it. I had second thoughts later on in the pregnancy and worried I didn't love it enough or it just wouldn't be right when he was born, but from the second I saw him that was his name. I've never doubted it since and can't imagine him being called anything else.

If it helps you decide, our compromise name is quite unusual, or at least unusual in this country. Had it been a name like Jacob or Ben or Sam I don't think it would have been as much of an issue...
If you choose an unusual name that you're not 100% convinced on I think it's more likely to lead to regret as the name stands out more if you see what I mean.
I do go through phases of liking it so its not total regret and I'm sure it will get better with time, but I wouldn't wish baby name regret on anyone, (as trivial as it sounds), it can really consume you especially when they are a baby and you're spending too much time thinking!

I think your preferences change over time too.

We couldn't decide on a name for my first son. My mum told us on day 3 post birth that she wanted to tell her friends (because that's obviously the main factor...) so we plumped for one I was a bit indifferent about but now love.

Come son number two (we'd agreed on our girls name immediately but never got to use it) we picked a name that my husband had vetoed for our first son. He now likes it, I'm still a bit on the fence about it.

But I wouldn't pick a name I disliked. It is really hard picking boys' names, somehow there's nicer girls' names.

I named dc 1+3 . Df named dc2 I didn't love the name but I liked it and it grew on me.

This for me too.

However I didn't have any of the issues that mention - nothing could have changed the instant love that I felt for her, and I've never avoided using her name.

I’ve never really analysed this before, but…

DH hated the name I picked for DS, said over his dead body, but I loved it. So I compromised and his first name is my second choice and one DH really liked.

I actually call my DS by the name I wanted, it started off as a jokey name or pet name but stuck. I always refer to him as his real name though when talking about him.

I must add op that I did like the name anyway so I guess it wasn't too much of a compromise. Don't pick a name you don't like even if it is a compromise 😊

Yes for dd2 we went with a compromise and now I can't imagine her being called the name I originally wanted 😁

We used a compromise name for one of our children and I've been resentful ever since.
It wasn't the name I wanted, and I had reservations about it which I still have. I feel like my DH should have just let me choose as he isn't even that into names and would never have thought about it again.

I wouldn't say it affected bonding in the sense that I still adored my baby just the same, but it definitely overshadowed the whole first year. I kept wanting to change it until he was 13 months old and then gave up, but even now I often imagine him with the name I actually wanted.

*told HIM!

Neither of us was wild about each other's first choice of name, so we settled on the one that was 2nd on both of our lists. Yes, we do both now love it. I gave DD1 my favourite name as her middle name.

With DD2, we made a short list of names we both liked, and he let me choose her first name from the list. I then told her he could pick any middle name he wanted. He went for one of the 'filler' ones that I wouldn't have considered, but it's fine. Our DDs ended up with first names we both agreed on, and each parent got to pick a middle name.

I'm not sure how much of a compromise it was as we did agree on a name when I was about 12 weeks pregnant so it wasn't one of those scenarios where the parents can't agree and are getting into arguments when the baby has already arrived. It wasn't my top choice though so we did compromise and I do really love the name now. It would seem weird to call him by another name.

There was only one name that dh and I both vaguely liked for DD. It very quickly came to be "her" and I love it for that reason.

Compromise name here and couldn't imagine my baby with a different name now. I just presumed he wouldn't go along with what I wanted so first couple of days of negotiations were horrible after long delivery etc. Completely irrelevant now though!!!!!!

The thing is you just don’t give it much thought after the first few months. It’s just what they’re called.

I have PND and no I don't think I love her name. We call her by her nn and have her proper name on her bc. I find myself avoiding it, sometimes realising I've called her darling or sweetheart all day instead. But at the same time the proper name is growing on me rather than the nickname.

My sons name was the one we both went 'yeah, that would be ok' about rather than one either of us loved. No regrets at all. I wouldn't say I 'love it', but i wouldn't say that about my daughters name which we were more enthusiastic about either! I love him, and i can't imagine him with a different name now, it's just part of who he is. I don't really use pet names or anything. I think once a name is attached to a person you love, it's part of them and you don't question it. I have a few nephews whose names I raised an eyebrow about when told them, but now I cant imagine them being called anything else.

However, if you feel so negatively about a name you really think it could harm your bond, or you would have to explain it when telling people , maybe that's not the right compromise!

I didn't have to. Dh has.

Nope! Still don't love it and she's an adult now!

My husband has dual nationality with 2 countries (one in Asia, one in southern Europe) and I'm British. I have a girl and a boy and in both cases we had to find a name that worked in 3 languages, that we both liked - very difficult! The names we chose weren't even in my top 50 names although I did like them. These names have become so associated with my children that I now absolutely love them. I can't think of the names without thinking of my children and all they mean to me. I can no longer see the names objectively.