Known as name

DSis goes by a name that is kind of a nickname for her middle name. She was called this at school / uni and also throughout her working life obvs all her legal docs have her given name on but it's never ever caused an issue. No need to legally change tbh - especially at 3 as she may well change her mind

I think OP acceptance is fine. She feels strongly about name Bella and that will probably stick for long while. I don't see little Jessica Bella changing her mind and picking another name, she feels strongly about name Bella.

I would definitely try to talk to child before changing the name about new name. Just so it doesn't confuse her more.

Also, Bella Jessica is better choice, because most people default to calling child his first name.

Does she have a legal middle name at all? ( Have just read your other thread.) If not, I think I would be inclined to add the name Bella (legally) so she is officially Jessica Bella Surname. Then if she prefers Bella, it won't be so confusing for everyone. Lots of people are known by their middle name for various reasons but if this is just a phase she's going through then she can still revert back to Jessica when she's a little older.

Two of my children have nicknames unrelated to their actual names. One was unplanned, the other was deliberate (although I think this one is related to her real name, it just isn't obvious!)

My older one is at school and the registers all have her real name and her nickname. This is totally normal where we live (Thailand) as most Thai people have a formal name (often quite long) and a nickname (often short, and often a random word in English that the parents just like the sound of!!)

When she started school I remember thinking I probably wouldn't list her nickname if we were in the UK, but that's because it isn't even a real name by British standards. But it works here, it's what we call her 99% of the time, and it's what she calls herself. She's now 7 and she's known her real name for years. Occasionally she says she prefers it but then she usually writes her nickname when naming things.

Bella is a perfectly lovely name, and so is Jessica. I would tell the school to refer to her by her nickname if that's what you do at home. I wouldn't change it legally. But it's entirely up to you, do whatever you feel comfortable with!

I can't understand people saying you need to 'parent' your child... nicknames come about all sorts of ways and sometimes unexpected names stick. Insisting on using her full/formal name is silly if both you and she are happy with the nickname.

My first went through a phase of wanting to be called Ryan thanks to 'Ryan Toy Review' on YouTube. Even told his teacher his name is Ryan but I corrected teacher that his name isn't Ryan.

“I've heard of people changing their child's name at 2,3 and 4”

I’ve never ever heard of that. How bizarre.

There is no right or wrong name for anyone- just the name their parents chose. But deciding later to use a completely different name (not an abbreviation type nickname) is really strange and would be incredibly confusing later on.

One of mine has a different known as name. Her teachers didn't even know her name until she sat her GCSEs as school use known as name on register etc.

I don't see the problem.

This. Ffs. What is wrong with some parents?! Parent your child

Speaking as someone whose NN has been Bella since I was born but my actual name is completely different think 'Mary' I'm now 30 and my parents never had my name changed. Always in school or medical or anything outside of home I was Mary regardless of what I as a child thought as I grew I knew Bella was a nn only used by close friends/family and I loved that thought... As a small child apparently I did argue with my mum when being introduced etc but she always corrected me and it wasn't long before it wasn't even an issue.... definitely don't change the name just keep correcting your daughter (gently) and use the NN at home

Maybe if she was 13, but she’s not… she’s in pre-school! I would correct her and say “no, you’re Jessica, you silly Billy! Bella is your friend.” (Obviously in a light hearted way). I wouldn’t have entertained this. She will fall out with her friend Bella and then make friends with Ava. Then she’ll demand to be known as Ava and so on.

Get her a doll named Bella.

If you named her Jessica then you need to call her Jessica and tell the school she's Jessica.

What if she gets fixated on another name in the next year? Do you all pander to that too and drop the Bella business?

She is three. You and her dad are the adults here.

If she wants to be known as Bella just tell the preschool that. That's completely fine and I'm sure they'll have had stranger scenarios than this. I wouldn't worry yourself. If she wants to be Jessica when she's 10 or whatever then she can be. No big deal at all.

Theres that instagrammer called Izzy Judd who's real name is something totally different (Bridget or something) but her brother just randomly called her Izzy when she was a baby / toddler and it just stuck. I've heard lots of stories like that.

If your dd knows herself as Bella, her friends call her Bella and you like Bella, so d definitely change it by deed poll to Bella.

This is what I got from it. Bella is the preferred name, and mum has encouraged it. I mean what would you do if she said ‘no it’s Doris?’ Or ‘no I’m John.’ You’d right away correct her and say ‘haha she’s Jessica.’ But for some reason you encouraged her to think her name was Bella (because you prefer Bella). It’s a bit odd. Just remind her that she isn’t Bella, she’s Jessica. Which is, by the way, a beautiful name.

Also not sure how it’s her middle name but ‘not legally.’ So it’s just not, then?

From your thread this morning, if Bella is part of a middle name, being called Bella is fine.

It's not legally her middle name. So it's not her middle name at all!

It sounds to me after reading both of your threads that you have called your daughter Jessica but you wish she was called Bella.

So change her name to Bella.

Fucking about like this, saying it's her middle name but not legally and she wanted to be called Bella because she had a friend called Bella is not doing your daughter any favours at all. You are giving her the message that her name, Jessica, isn't as good as Bella.

The whole situation is weird. You are trying to put it forward that it's all your daughter's doing but she is a very, very young child.

This she's 3!!

God help you when she's 13 if you pander to her this much at 3

From your thread this morning, if Bella is part of a middle name, being called Bella is fine.

If Bella is really what she wants to be called because that's what her friend was called, it's a bit contrived, and likely to change as she finds new friends. I'd think carefully in this case about getting Bella as a pregered name in (pre) school.

There is no reason why she can't be known as her nickname. You can call your child whatever you want and ask school / nursery to do likewise. I've met plenty of 'my name is Mary but everyone calls me Pen's in my time. No-one was the slightest bit bothered.

I mean I personally wouldn’t. At this preschool age their identity is confusing to them. It’s at this age that they begin to understand they have similarities and differences from others. It’s our job as parents to help them navigate that. No, Tyler is a boy but you are a girl. Yes, Amy has brown skin but you have white skin. Yes, you and Harry both have red hair. No, Bella is your friend - you’re not Bella, you’re Jessica!

Shortening her name to something like Jessie is part of her identity - telling people she’s called Bella when her name is Jessica is just confusing, and if everyone in her life is now calling her Bella she’ll start to see that as her name.