Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

Baby name regret - one parent only

31 replies

LT2 · 02/08/2022 14:49

So I am suffering from PND so this is a contributing factor, but I keep obsessing over my baby's name. I feel as though the one we picked isn't 'him' for different reasons and like I've just gone off it. He's 6 months. I started feeling this way around 2 months ago and it hasn't gone away.
I have been in tears daily over this and it's all I think about from waking up to going to sleep! I have had trouble sleeping and little appetite.
I would change the name in a heartbeat but my partner loves his name. He has said I can change it, but I feel so much guilt (the name I want I've loved for years and we didn't go with it in the first place because DH didn't like it!). He didn't come up with any names. I thought of the one baby has at the minute. I feel as though we only chose it as it's the only one he said yes to.
What would you do? I don't know if I'll ever love this name for him and i feel regret I didn't use the one I had wanted for years.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Original poster
LT2 · 02/08/2022 17:39

@BaronessBomburst unfortunately not, he already has 2 middle names.

@ClocksGoingBackwards yes. I do think the name regret maybe caused the PND though, rather than the other way around. I'm afraid that if I leave it he'll know his name and I'll live with the regret forever.

OP posts:
ClocksGoingBackwards · 02/08/2022 17:31

This is a symptom of your PND.

You can’t make a decision as big as changing your baby’s name when you’re still suffering.

BaronessBomburst · 02/08/2022 17:29

Can you add the name you love as a middle name?

Original poster
LT2 · 02/08/2022 17:28

@wingingit33 I could, but it troubles me that I don't love this name for my son. I thought I did but various reasons have made me go off it. I'd also always regret not using the name I've always loved if I didn't have another boy.
@Awwlookatmybabyspider I don't think I was very strong with voicing that I loved the name that much, which I regret very much. There doesn't seem to be a name we equally love. I do know that he won't feel as down as I do so maybe that answers what I need to do, but I still feel full of guilt (he tells me not to). It's so tough😔

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 02/08/2022 15:38

If it's making you that unhappy I'd say change it do it very quickly though because very soon he'll know his name. I've often thought I wished have put more thought in myDD's name. I've got no regrets choosing and sticking with it though. Incidentally the name I was toying with changing it to is the actual name my DD has given to my new DGD. (Anyway that wasn't why you called)😂
You say you'd feel guilty on your partner for doing so, but let's keep in mind your partner from what I can see didn't study you by when he stopped you from using the name you wanted and just waded in there with his own choice.
A compromise is absolutely fine after all he may feel about your name choice the same way you feel about your baby's current name. Therefore I'd say you need to sit down together and discuss other name ideas that you both equally love.

wingingit33 · 02/08/2022 15:35

Do you have plans for anymore children? Could you save it for another boy if you have one?