Nicknames - unpopular opinion?

Putting a shortened or nn on the BC has become an awful lot more popular in the last 30 years if you read the full baby name lists.

Eg when parents want to avoid multiples of the same name in a class so choose eg Abigail not realising once you add up all the Abby, Abbie, Abbey and Abi's it's a lot more common than they think!

With names like Elizabeth, with so many different diminutives it's more complex. I think for that one you should use Liz/ Beth/ Eliza etc as the given name as the nn is less predictable.

Then there's NNs that sound nothing like the original eg Peggy for Margaret.

I knew of one girl who was called Lottie on her BC but didn't like it so changed to Charlotte as a pre teen!

I think people just worry the name they have lovingly chosen won’t get used, and so want to try and predict nns so they don’t end up with something they hate.

When people say nicknames they obviously mean diminutives - it’s just that takes a lot longer to type than nn

I think it’s natural to flap a bit about what your child is going to be called

The poster didn’t say anything like that. They said not everyone gets called by a nickname and they’ve never met anyone as obsessed as people are on mumsnet. Not that they’d never heard of anyone having their name shortened.

Yes doomed, my dm chose names she didn't think would be easily nicknamed. We all have multiple nicknames for everyone. It probably drives her mad with annoyance and pride that we have such fun with each other.

I have a name with a very obvious nick name- think Susan/Susie.

My DH (then Dboyfriend) were rumbled at work- we were keeping relationship our secret but he outed us by calling me my nick name instead of more formal work name.

I think it's nice for there to be different names for home and work.

And no , I'd say most people in the UK don't have nicknames.

People call them nicknames but they're not. They are diminutives or shortened versions of the names.
Eg James known as Jim , but nicknames evolve as you grow eg something related to your appearance or character or hobby.

This.

Have you genuinely never met anyone who gets called by a diminutive of their name? You've never met a Chris or Elly or Pat or Kath or Becky or Jess or Freddie or Alf or Tilly or Matt or Sam or Ollie or Livi or Katie or Frankie?

You genuinely believe that people being called a nickname/diminutive only happens on Mumsnet? I find that absolutely incredible.

I named both of my DC one thing but we call them another and have done since birth. They were never going to be addressed by the names on their birth certificates. DD used her real name when she had a Saturday job because there was another member of staff with her name that we use and she was happy to offer to do that. Their friends know their birth names and don’t think it’s a big deal. The names are variations of what is on their birth certificate it’s not like we named one of them Rodney and call them Dave!

Not sure exactly what OP means, but for me I thought of people who intend on calling their children Ted, Pippa, Beth, Theo ad Kit but naming them Edward, Philippa, Elizabeth, Theodore, and Christopher.

It's a tad pretentious to me, but then again a lot of the name threads are.

I'm from the nick names evolving camp.Having said that , thinking about it in advance is sensible if you have strong feelings about that sort of thing. Common shortenings ,Chris , Ben, Becky etc are unavoidable to some extent although the name owner can correct .The parents who try to control this by pressing their choice of nick name are the ones I don't really understand.Let the child decide is my thought on this.
FWIW DC1 has a pet name at home or is called by their full name but from about aged 11 has been known by everyone outside immediate family by the common and slightly frivolous shortening.
DC2 has a name with a lot of common diminutives but is always known by full name or occasionally the simplest shortening.
DC3 is always known by the most common shortening .
I don't really know how this has evolved but at least it is partly related to position in family and other children struggling with the longer forms of the names.

You have to cede a bit of control. My daughter’s name is quite long so when she was learning to talk she effectively made up her own diminutive which is only tangentially related to her actual name. She called herself that, so her nursery friends and nursery staff called her that, and all the rest of us too in the end.

There’s a huge difference between a nickname and a diminutive. But yes, I would probably agree that as a culture, it’s normal in Britain for people to be regularly called by diminutives. Many Benjamin’s or Alexander’s or Elizabeth’s will be known as Ben, Alex or Lizzie. I know that once I know someone I often knee jerk to calling them by a shortened version, which is probably wrong!

Nicknames are silly names that attach themselves over time. My son couldn’t say my daughter’s name so she became LaLa for a long time, to most people in the family. But that’s not something I would have planned on calling her when I named her.

Both my children have three syllable names and I expected that by now they'd go by the shorter versions but they haven't (they're 7 and 5). They have nicknames for each other that they've always called each other which is sweet.

Massive difference between a nickname and a common shortening of a name.

I've known some one for 40 years called goat. That's a nickname. Calling someone Ben from Benjamin is a shortening of a name.

I think it's a good idea to consider shortenings as often names do get shortened. My name has two common shortenings, one I don't mind and the other I really dislike so it was a factor when thinking about my own dc names. I do know someone who was really keen to avoid having names that could be shortened so went with one syllable names for his kids. But now he refers to them as the first letter of their names (eg Ben is 'B'!). I find that really bizarre given how strongly he was opposed to shortened names when his wife was pregnant!

I find it odd that people plan their child's nickname. Nicknames should arise naturally or not at all. I also don't think a shortened version of the fullname is a nickname. It's just an abbreviation.

If you don’t like a name being shortened I’d pick one that can’t be. Something like Alice or Jane or Shaun which is unlikely to be shortened. But then even the Shaun I know is called Shauny for an nickname! I think you have to accept that the name is given to the child and then is theirs, so they might prefer Xander rather than Alexander, or Ellie instead of Elizabeth.

I do find the attitudes to nicknames/shortenings on here (and nameberry which I’m a fan of) really odd. Like people asking ‘what can Poppy be a nickname for’ and other people suggesting the name Penelope or Philomena. And to me it just feels like you like the name Poppy. Why try to twist it into another name rather than just use the name you like. To me some of the nicknames seem super convoluted.

@C0mfyChairP0se can you explain why it’s good? Many people don’t have name options and manage to get through life just fine.

Well, I don't care if some people don't get it, but it's good to give your child the option to revert to a longer name when they're older, or to a more fashionable nn.

eg Elizabeth on the birth cert even though you plan to call her Libby. It gives HER choices.

I think there is a big difference between a nickname and a common shortening.

In this country, if you’re an Elizabeth, Matthew, Andrew, etc you will inevitably get called the shortened version at some point in your life and will likely have to actively say something to not be called it.

When naming my kids, one has a name where we loved the common shortening. The other has a few common ones and we loved all but one. I think it would be silly to not consider it - I wouldn’t have used a name where I hated the common shortening.

Nicknames come about a bit more organically, might have nothing to do with their name and not something you can control at all. I love my youngest’s full name, but from starting nursery, every possible shortening got used and some we’d not even thought of. I think it’s lovely how different people have their own names for them - it’s an indication of familiarity and friendship.

@VirginiaQ lots of people do actually suggest they want to call their children Tommy, Ellie, Alfie etc but then you get all the MN hand wringers insisting you absolutely must put the “full name” on your child’s birth certificate so they will be employable adults 🙄