Nicknames - unpopular opinion?

I chose a name that I love for my DD. It does shorten to a "nickname" which I dislike, but this far she is very definite that she is known by her full name and anyone who shortens it gets told off by her

I think most nicknames just happen. My mother had one for me, a version of my middle name, but no one else called me that.
If you name your child 'Elizabeth' but only call her Betty, then that's the name she'll have until she's old enough to either keep it or change it.
An ex boyfriend was Jimmy but felt that too juvenile for a lawyer so goes by James now (though I always think of him as Jimmy).

I’d think along the lines of if anything could be really terrible for the child in a nickname, which could depend on the surname - e.g. Hugo may be a lovely name, but if your surname is York will Hugo York become Hugh York (and then New York …. And then that New York New York song is the theme turn to his life!… probably quite a tame example… but I can’t think of anything really terrible!)

We can only do so much though, all it takes is for a band to release a track and that’s it. I knew a Gordon who was subjected to ‘Gordon is a moron’ mercilessly and I’m sure there are a lot of Ruby Ruby Ruby Ruby’s that hate the Kaiser Chiefs.

It's good because names date and while libby might be perfectly fitting for friends and family, she may want to use Elizabeth sometimes and if your parents give her that choice rather than making the decision themselves then that is good for their child. It's just sensible. Not compulsory, you call your children what you like but it is clear why it's good

I think it’s worth thinking about ….. in the same way as initials could be. A boy I went to school with had two middle names. His parents wanted to call him Robert Ian, but their surname starts with a P. Having the initial RIP wasn’t ideal so they popped another middle name in. I’d think along the lines of if anything could be really terrible for the child in a nickname, which could depend on the surname - e.g. Hugo may be a lovely name, but if your surname is York will Hugo York become Hugh York (and then New York …. And then that New York New York song is the theme turn to his life!… probably quite a tame example… but I can’t think of anything really terrible!)

Incidentally… my name can’t be shortened because my Dad dislikes nicknames. However - Dad gave me what he calls a ‘pet name’ (no words can explain how much his logic baffles me!!!) and people tent to lengthen my name as a nickname (add an “i’ sound onto the end). And everyone I know with ‘true’ nick names are called things completely unrelated to their actual name… e.g. eat lots of McDonalds and we’ll call you nuggets (don’t know any nuggets… do know someone named after food items!)

I have never had a nickname. I was called by the diminutive for a year or two by an American friend but not in the last forty years. I don't understand the planning of one!

Exactly this. Both my DSs have normal names with diminutives, such as Alexander and Jonathan (not their names). Both also have nicknames which have no relation to their actual names but have arisen from their habits/personalities/ physical characteristics. A diminutive is not a nickname.

Just choose a name where you like the long form and the usual short forms.

My parents tried throughout our childhoods to dictate that my sister could not be known by any shortenings of her name (hers is easily shortened, mine isn't). They even used to try and publicly correct her friends, which was cringeworthy. It didn't work. She uses the shortening, and it suits her.

Oddly enough, despite insisting that neither of us should be known by anything other than our "proper" names, both of my parents were always known by short versions of their own, a double standard to which they only very reluctantly admitted when we teased them about it as adults. When we were growing up apparently only they were allowed to shorten their names. 🙄🤣

Nonsensical to you but not to us. IMO a made up name like Nevaeh (Heaven spelt backwards) or Chloe being spelt Klowee is far more nonsensical than anything I have done regarding naming children.

But we loved the long name and the diminutive and that’s why the long name is on their birth certificates.

The same could be said about middle names, they’re generally not used yet children are given them.

You address then by the names you love - that I understand. But giving them a version of the name that they, in your words, "they were never going to be addressed by" - that's nonsensical.

Mumsnet users often refer to needing a ‘proper’ name for their CV and job applications in future. I find this so strange, because if you’ve applied for the job as Matilda, when you get it do you tell everyone you’re actually Tilly? And if your qualified and interview well, what difference does your name make? Also many employers have applications that remove your name, gender etc for equal opportunities.

Same. And I also don't feel like I need a 'work name' and a 'home name'

Yeah I don’t understand it either. My DD has a name which is a diminutive for another longer name - I loved the diminutive but not fussed on the long name so I just named her the diminutive and that’s what’s on her birth certificate. And it’s a name which will be perfectly acceptable no matter what age she is, her profession etc. Loads of people I know in real life have done this. Where I’m from a nickname isn’t usually anything to do with the given name, we would say “Alex short for Alexander” for example rather than “Alex as a nickname for Alexander”. As a pp said I would consider a nickname to be Smiley for someone who smiles a lot etc

Many people don’t have £1 million and manage to get through life just fine. Doesn’t mean I would turn it down if I was offered it!

I have a name with a number of shortenings and I like it. I like being able to use my formal name for formal things. But that I have a different, shorter, more friendly name for day to day use.

And I love the fact that at university my name got shortened differently so that a particular group of friends - the ones who were basically family to me for 3 years - have a different, special name for me. But that it is still a reasonable shortening so if other people hear it they don’t ask why I am called Bod or whatever.

It’s just nice.

I gave both my sons names with lots of options- so Frederick/Freddie/Fred/Rick/Ricky ( not their name but something similar!) They started off being known as Freddie, Freds as a diminutive but evolved into Frederick at university. I do find it a little difficult to remember my Freddie is now Frederick but I'm getting there!

@alanabennett We spent a long time choosing their names and we picked them for the same reason anyone does, because we loved them and still do. The birth certificate name is just a full version of what we call them. For example something like if we had named our DC Andrew and Elizabeth then we’d have called them Drew and Betty. Don’t know what the issue is.

As a person with no shortening to my name I can say I hate it. That's why my dd has a long name with lots of options. I think it's awful for my boss, family and closest friends to all call me the same.

Awful? Gosh, it must be a terrible name

I think if someone is introduced by name, that’s mostly what they get called.

Yes. I know a Victoria and a Catherine and always call them that - that's what they introduced themselves as. I wouldn't dream of calling them Vicky or Cat....

If your children "were never going to be addressed by the names in their birth certificates" why on earth did you give them those names?

(MN is so bloody weird at times!!)

That's such an odd attitude, to me. Your name is your name...why would you care a jot that your boss calls you the same thing as your friends? Let alone find it "awful"?

I know a Jane shortened to J, and an Ava shortened to Ave.
I also know Elizabeths, Andrews and Thomases who always go by their full name.
I think if someone is introduced by name, that’s mostly what they get called. No one knows what is or isn’t on their birth certificate.
My parents gave me a 3 syllable name but only ever used the first syllable, thinking I could change to the long version if I preferred. I honestly couldn’t! If I’m called the long version (eg at a hospital appointment) it takes a couple of times being called for me to associate that name with me (and even then it’s the surname that gives it away). It’d be no easier to adapt to my birth certificate name than to any other name that isn’t mine, albeit slightly less paperwork.

My first name can't be shortened. It gets lengthened. Not the name but think Jill being called Jilly, Jillian, Gillian etc or Hugh - Hugo, Hughie, Shuggie etc

If you pick a name like Penelope, Felicity or Alexandra, it will get shortened. You can correct people all you like but it'll still happen. Even something like Andrew or Emma will end up being Andy/Drew and Em/Ems/Emmy

My name is 3 syllables and never gets shortened.

I find it odd when posters ask what nickname they should use for easy-to-say names like Emma, Clara, Rory or Oscar...?!

Just use the name as it is!!