Husband or mine names part 2

He knew he would marry you from age 6?
Only going on what you have written that is not a caring and intelligent man that is a manipulative creep, he waited until you were 'legal' and isolated you from your family and from the rest of the world.
I am sorry that this is normal for you because it shouldn't be, its a bit alarming.

Oh gosh I was reading this thinking what ridiculous names he's suggesting but actually this has taken a really horrible turn. With a young baby you're probably not in the right headspace to hear this but you are in a coercive, controlling relationship and it's likely he groomed you. I hope in time you're able to see this and have the opportunity to leave this man.

Erm. So. This thread has taken an unexpectedly dark turn.

OP if this is real I'm so sorry, I really hope you're ok. Please know that it is NOT normal not to be allowed out by yourself or even have a bank card.

Do you have friends?

As he’s all you’ve known I don’t think you realise how much of what you write is just so not part of a normal healthy relationship.

@Depakote
Stick to your guns on this. It will be a true test of your relationship and may or may not confirm pps concerns.
Come back and update us please!

When he saw you the first time aged 6 he wanted to marry you and you don’t think that’s weird?!

Oh OP your posts are some of the saddest I have seen. Who says you are stupid - the way you write you posts is actually both eloquent and grammatically correct (sometimes better than mine and I have a Masters!)

Will you be allowed to go to baby groups? Make friends actually leave the house with your baby?

Oh OP grooming you at such a young age has meant you think this is what you want.

I am surprised actually that you have already not been flagged by the midwives as being a concern - I would if I was the Health Visitor flag safeguard concerns about this.

What you are describing is a highly controlling abusive relationship. I suspect the name thing is the first time you have ever challenged him

I suspect this must be very difficult to hear though OP a whole lot of strangers challenging you about this

He. Is. Controlling. You.

You are in a very toxic, very dangerous relationship.

It’s literally one of the examples of controlling and coercive behaviour the CPS give www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/controlling-or-coercive-behaviour-intimate-or-family-relationship
You should look into doing the freedom programme so that you can recognise his behaviour for what it is.

You’re in a coercive controlling relationship.
its abusive.

a much older man ‘groomed’ you as a 17 year old teen, severed you from your family support and now won’t let you out alone. He’s controlling and abusive.

@Depakote do you have any friends hobbies or a support network outside of your husband and his over involved mother? Any access to finances?

I suspect not.
please seek advice from Womens Aid

@Depakote please re-read everything you wrote. What would you say if your Dd, aged 17, was groomed into a relationship with a man old enough to be her dad and who’d known her since she was barely out of nappies?

You are in an abusive relationship. Your “D”H preyed on a child and moulded her into his dream woman. He doesn’t want you out on your own because you’ll wise up on the fact you’re in an abusive relationship and was groomed. If the legal age of consent was 14 then he’d probably have had sex with you then rather than waiting until you were barely the age of consent.

I think your dad did the right thing by punching the paedo. He was protecting his Dd but failed. You didn’t fall in love. You were a child.

No to Lily-Levi, and NO, NO, NO to not being able to leave the house without your 49 year old husband ringing you twenty times. He does this because he is controlling, not anxious, controlling.

You've got more to deal with here than the name of this baby.

That’s not anxious or worried, that’s controlling. It’s perfectly normal to go out alone and not be checked up upon.

There’s so many red flags here we could be at a festival.

Why does he want to give her a boy's name?

definitely not to Levi-Lilly! It’s not even easy to say, too many Ls! Alba is lovely, How about alba Levi (Levi as middle name) as a compromise. I do think Levi really is a boys name though.

This is extremely controlling OP. It’s not ok. You are going to need to go out alone with the baby often and not be questioned about what you’re doing and where you’re going.

Levi is a cool name. It’s German made famous by the jeans he invented.

Lily is beautiful.

Alba looks nice but sounds a lot like Elbow.

What about Liv, a mash up of Levi and Lily. Or Lelv 😂

Or Leila

This is abuse! Everything you have said about your relationship is ringing alarm bells.

I always think both parents are allowed to veto any names.
If he can't accept Margot, Alba or even just Lily then you both need to think of something else. I agree Levi-Lily is absolutely awful.

Lily-May is better as a hyphenated name.

If he wants something a bit more unisex how about Robin, Andie, Alex, Erin or Charlotte which can be shortened to Charlie ?

I agree with PP the age difference in your relationship is concerning with a possible imbalance in power.

Also your DH needs to accept he has a daughter not a son and there's no guarantee he'll ever get one.

Make sure you stand your ground. He has no right to control you.

You’re not allowed out without him?