One week old baby- husband won't discuss a name.

He can't bully you into liking a name. And the very fact that he's trying to do so when you're 10 days post birth is shameful of him.

I had also had big disagreements with my DH on the name of our 3rd child. After 2 boys we thought we were expecting another boy and were surprised when he was in fact a she... We already had a boys name planned and DH wanted to stick with it (it's the kind of name that you could have for both sexes) but I really wanted a traditional girls name. We absolutely couldn't agree so in the end we both compromised and named her for the Queen - apparently this is what you do when you can't agree or decide. Despite the fact that she is registered as Elizabeth, I just always called her the name that I wanted, and that's stuck.

So OP... feel free to let him have his way on the birth certificate and then just crack on and call her the name that you love. Everyone is a winner then!

@busymamaof2 Congratulations on your new baby.

I don’t have an opinion on your DC name choices - you do you.

But I do have an opinion on your DH - he is behaving abusively. He has returned to work early in a strop rather than parent his newborn and care for his post-partum wife. He is trying to bully you into giving in when you are vulnerable. This is what you need to discuss.

iIn terms of naming baby, if he is willing to discuss it kindly and calmly, you could give him one more chance. Clarify that Angela is off the table because you hate it plus it would be inappropriate to name your DD after your Granddad’s girlfriend. And then come to an agreement.
If that’s impossible or he refuses to engage, I would quietly and without telling him in advance take baby to the registrar’s office on Monday and register her with your favourite names. Because negotiation is not possible in an abusive relationship.

But I really hope he comes to his senses. Good luck

Well two of my favourite people (Think mentor/substitute Mum-type thing) were called Angela and Christina so I used to think I’d call a girl Angelina.

I actually really like Angela, more than your list I’m afraid OP. It’s not one I would have ever thought of but it’s really lovely.

I'm confused because the OP is in the same situation and you are trying to sell variations of Angela to her even though she too is being strong armed by into it by someone who refuses to communicate and she knows she hates the name.

If you can acknowledge it's an awful situation for Spritelite, then why wouldn't you acknowledge that it's a horrible situation in the making for the OP if five years down the line she is feeling sad and angry and it's too late by then do do something about it.

God Angela is awful for a baby. That's really unfair he's just saying it's my name or nothing. Could angelica work as a compromise? I love all of your name choices op

Angela’s nice. I don’t really like the nicknames though. Having said that I know a Nancy whose nickname is “Nan” and I don’t like that.

You’ll both have to scrub your favourites and find something you can agree on. that’s what I had to do. My DD has a name I’m not wild about but it’s a good name and that’s all that matters.

This is an awful situation and I’m glad the ratbag became an ex. But what if the now five year old little girl loves her name and would find it confusing and upsetting to change it?

My greatgrandmother who was undoubtedly Irish was called Angel.

Call the baby Angel then no one can assume the gender.

i know an Angeline

lovely name

Nancy is a beautiful name

And names beginning with A are also really in at the moment I’ve noticed

Nancy is a perfectly good nn for Angela.

Tbh, it sounds to me as though you are both being unreasonable, though admittedly, since you have just given birth, you have more of an excuse.

Compromise options:

Irish spelling/version on Angela www.ireland101.com/what-is/angela/irish

or a variation in the name where you can use the full name and he can use Angela as a pet name e.g.

Anhelica or Angelica or Angelina

Traditional names are actually really in at the moment.

If he was discussing it then I really doubt anyone would be saying register her, even if he was being really fussy but still talking.
I think peoples concern is that he will register her and the OP will always hate the name.
Plus that sort of behaviour indicates that he is a bully and the relationship won't last long term, so probably the OP should not end up regretting caving to a bully that she doesn't even end up staying with like the other PP.

So name the child Angela but tell everyone to call her Nancy? That’s just so convoluted and everyone will think they’re odd.

God some of the comments on here are rediculous! If he registered the baby's name without asking the OP you'd all be saying LTB. Why is her choice more valid than his? He is being stupid but they need to sort it out not just go with her choice! And just because the other 2 have Irish/Scottish names doesn't mean she has to - this is not about what other people expect but what the parents want! grow up all of you! including the husband!!!!

I know an Angela, who calls herself Gella which I think is really shit, but she's too young to be an Ange and obviously does not want to be an Angela.

Doesn't help. Bullies you.

Why are you accepting such low standards, OP?

I hate Angela. This stems from the fact that MIL is called Angela so everyone shortens it to Ange which is fine, but all of the kids call her flange to wind her up. DP said people have called her this as a joke for as long as he can remember. This would immediately be a nope from me.

You really don't need the name suggestions.
This is about the stonewalling, him making a decision that should be joint and blocking you out.
Using the name for her knowing you hate it is cruel power play.
I feel quite upset for you.

You already have one child named after one of your family members. Is your second child named after one of his family members? If not, you are not really doing any compromising here. I can see why he is annoyed

Why is he obsessed with Angela?

is it a family name?
an ex girlfriends/the one that got away name?
the name of a page 3 model he was obsessed with? (Two of my sisters are named after page 3 models and we were told they were boak. Luckily not me 😬)

the name, to me, is a level of control he’s trying to gain as well as wearing you down by withdrawing from parental duties.

was the baby planned and wanted by both of you?
any other issues going on or is he just being a dick about the name and trying to get his way?

personally I’d go register her seems as he’s decided to fuck off back to work.