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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Original poster

One week old baby- husband won't discuss a name.

238 replies

busymamaof2 · 01/07/2022 02:19

DD3 born last week. Now ten days old.

For the other two we compromised on names, although husband always exaggerates claims he feels the other two were names he compromised on and were never his own choices. This is wrong. We both compromised and neither got our first choice.

DD3 and he wants something so plain and generic I just cannot even contemplate it. Angela. I don't like it. Fairly dated now. We are also Scottish and Irish so everyone is expecting something Scottish, Irish or Celtic especially as other two DC have those connotations to their names.

He is refusing to even have a discussion on any other name. Keeps saying hello little Angela to the baby to wind me up. Last night I said I wouldn't be bullied into a name I didn't like, especially as this week he has gone straight back to work 3 days post birth, he has been no help with the baby. In a week I'd say he's changed 3 nappies. Given her one feed. Yet despite his hopelessness it's a my way or highway name.

The amount of texts I am receiving asking about a name is driving me mad and clearly indicates we're having problems.

What would you do?

OP posts:
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itsgettingweird · 01/07/2022 04:41

So one dc is named after your grandparent?

This is a name he's wanted since your first girl?

I don't agree with his behaviour but any chance your compromises have meant names you prefer more than him and he's now determined to have more of a say?

If he's otherwise a normal human partner the determination in his behaviour would indicate a real strength of feeling that needs to be at least acknowledged.

Fwiw Angela is much nicer than your names (IMO) although I do like Nancy.

mocktail · 01/07/2022 04:29

If you want to reflect Scottish and Irish heritage then I'm not sure Nansi or Megan are going to do that to be honest!

I hope you can agree on something soon. Congratulations on your baby Flowers

Scirocco · 01/07/2022 04:10

If you're looking for an Irish or Scottish name, I think the Gaelic version of Angela is Aingeal. Would that be something you could live with, even as a middle name, perhaps?

Do you know why he has his heart set on Angela? Does it have a special significance for him? If so, it might be nice to try to include it as a middle name (you could even give her two middle names, one from each of you, and then a first name you can agree on). You could give her 2 middle names to hide it more...

PinkCheetah · 01/07/2022 03:17

I must say I prefer your name choices OP. But I can also understand if your DH has wanted Angela since DD1 then it's a firm favourite to have it sidelined every time must be disheartening. Nonetheless his behaviour is outrageous. I don't even have a solution for you but you have my sympathies Flowers

lemmein · 01/07/2022 03:08

Well you clearly have much better taste than your DH so as someone who has carried her for 9 months, and by the sounds of it, is pretty much doing everything yourself, I'd register her with one of your beautiful names.

Angela indeed! Unless you've given birth to a 40 year old I wouldn't even acknowledge it.

Original poster
busymamaof2 · 01/07/2022 02:42

WideOpenSpaces · 01/07/2022 02:39

What name do YOU like, OP?

Nancy first choice, ideally spelt as Nansi to reflect heritage

Orla

Megan

A number of others but not Angela!!

OP posts:
WideOpenSpaces · 01/07/2022 02:39

What name do YOU like, OP?

Original poster
busymamaof2 · 01/07/2022 02:38

Smileandtheworldsmileswithyou · 01/07/2022 02:30

Angela as a middle name and give her a name you both agree on, if he won’t discuss it tell him you will be choosing a name and getting her registered.

It wouldn't go with the first name (or the one I like).

OP posts:
Original poster
busymamaof2 · 01/07/2022 02:37

BruceAndNosh · 01/07/2022 02:30

When did he decide on Angela?
I mean has this disagreement been going on for 10 days or 3 months?

He's wanted it since the day DD1 was born! It's always been on my red list. I just can't like it.

To make things more difficult - we went for my grandfathers name for DS. Angela was his wife. It would look absolutely ridiculous that we have the name of both of my grandparents as names to 2 of our 3 DC! I mentioned it to Mum and she was very much "oh don't be ridiculous!" And I tend to agree!

OP posts:
stuntbubbles · 01/07/2022 02:35

Smileandtheworldsmileswithyou · 01/07/2022 02:30

Angela as a middle name and give her a name you both agree on, if he won’t discuss it tell him you will be choosing a name and getting her registered.

But OP doesn’t like Angela, why should she use it as a middle name?

I’d be really cross about this, OP. You’re supposed to be recovering from labour and birth, bonding with your newborn, establishing feeding, and you’ve got 3 kids to look after on little sleep, and he’s titting about winding you up by calling the baby a name you’ve made clear you don’t want, refused to take paternity leave, and left you with a nameless baby. Read him the fucking riot act and get that baby named.

BruceAndNosh · 01/07/2022 02:30

When did he decide on Angela?
I mean has this disagreement been going on for 10 days or 3 months?

Smileandtheworldsmileswithyou · 01/07/2022 02:30

Angela as a middle name and give her a name you both agree on, if he won’t discuss it tell him you will be choosing a name and getting her registered.

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/07/2022 02:21

What's your choice of name? I mean you could just go and register her...