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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Baby name regret

55 replies

JDF1611 · 24/06/2022 08:23

My daughter is 7 months and although we'd picked a name before she was born we weren't decided on the spelling. I preferred the more common spelling but it has various pronunciations, however the phonetic version seemed less pretty and more unusual so neither option was perfect.

I went into labour early, had a traumatic birth and was high on morphine after an emergency c section when DH pressured me to make a decision so he could make announcements. I chose the phonetic spelling.

To cut this long story short, I've been obsessing over it since. The name itself isn't incredibly common and I feel she's going to have a lifetime of correcting/spelling her name. I wish we'd picked a less unique name and one she wouldn't struggle with.

When she was 4 months we tried a nickname, a sort of shorter version of her name which I still really like however it didn't stick- none of the other family members used it and DH basically just avoided using her name all together.
DH thinks I have PND and need to get help, however I really don't know if that's the case or if it's just name regret that I cant get past. Every time someone struggles with her name it triggers me, I cant sleep and just have this horrible feeling of dread because of it. But I also feel if we change it, DH will never forgive me and we'll also feel some sadness over the name she's had for the last 7 months.
I really don't know what to do.

OP posts:
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UsernameIsCopied · 24/06/2022 08:54

Are you struggling with the fact that people mispronounce the name, or that people don't know how to spell it? Either way, you sound excessively anxious. I had similar feelings around one of my children's name which is very unusual. I winced every time someone didn't catch his name straight away. Child is 6 now and his name is a non-issue. Some people say, oh what a lovely name! Some people clearly don't like it but 99% of people don't care.
Looking back, I realise I was very unhappy during the first months, very anxious and stressed, and I focused my anxiety on that. It sounds like you are very anxious as well.

onlywhenidream · 24/06/2022 08:48

Phonetic spelling is great - very sensible especially for less common names

bloominglovelyorange · 24/06/2022 08:48

This sounds like PND to me :
do you have a name you'd like to use instead that you have heart 100% set on? Because if not you'll end up having the same thoughts about the next name I think. There'll be an issue that'll crop up that you hadn't anticipated.

KangarooKenny · 24/06/2022 08:47

If you tell us the name this would be easier.

DuchessOfSausage · 24/06/2022 08:43

There is a possibility that you might have PND, so please speak to your GP regarding that.

Is the name something like Caitlin/Katelyn?

You can change a baby's name in the first year.

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