Baby name regret - Isla or Eden?

OP, if you are still here, just wondering what you did and how you feel about the names now?

Hope you are feeling better.

Imo, it's normal for one parent to feel stronger for the picked name. It clearly meant a lot to your partner as it's the only one he suggested and then he felt certain that she looks it.
I'd trust him and give it time to grow on me.

Yes, it's popular but it's gorgeous. And is not more popular than Lily - the other name you considered.

Eden is one of my favourite girls names. I always suggest it to my friends in hope someone will use it!

Wishing you lots of happiness whatever you choose to do❤

I think Eden is a lovely name. It’s more about the trauma you’ve been through and how you handle it. We had a cousin change her son’s name because she had PTSD from a trauma and every time she heard his name it brought it back. She instroduced him with his new name and we all accepted it no problem. He was over 2 years old and just adjusted very easily.

We also have friends with a girl called Annabelle but they only use that name on paperwork. The day to day name they use is different. Schools always ask what the official name is and then what they like to be known as.

I would change it (after a long chat with your partner to check he is on board with that)

For what it's worth, I far prefer Isla to Eden...

So sorry you've had such a bad experience, OP.

Prefer Eden. Isla is nice but overused

I find it interesting reading many MN threads to find how common it is for parents (mothers, usually) to have name regret.
OP do what feels right for you. I haven’t read a single post where the parent has regretted changing their DC’s name.
Metaphorically turn the clock back to day one and choose the name you feel most comfortable with and stick with it.
Good luck.

Love Eden. Isla is lovely too but v popular. We changed DS' name when he was 6 months old - so glad now.

And glad everything is ok now - what a scary time that must have been x

Hi,
I just wanted to reply to your post. Not sure where you are with your name dilemma but wanted to give you my experience. When my daughter was born we didn’t have a name picked out. Just a few we were deliberating. The birth was traumatic and looking back realise I was depressed whilst pregnant. I couldn’t decide on her name and my husband was just happy to go along with whatever which didn’t help me. My husband pushed me to register her at 3 weeks as he felt I would feel better once we’d done it. As soon as I did I literally fell into a dark hole obsessing about her name, hated saying it, seeing it written down and having anyone else say it. PND was diagnosed and I was thankfully given some support. Eventually started to feel better and finally settled on a name when she was 3 months old. Doing the name change paperwork was straightforward and I just felt so relieved once her amended birth certificate arrived. It was a really hard time and not a lot of people close to me understood. She is now 5 and I’m just so pleased we did it. The admin part was easy, my daughter had no idea and we’ll explain it all to her when she’s older. I also decided to not give a fuck what anyone thought which was hard when I was in the throes of PND but once I started to get better I really didn’t care. We didn’t use the original name at all as it represented so much pain for me. The preference of name is entirely what you prefer, both are beautiful. I just wanted to reach out to you and hope that you’re feeling better and that you are happy with where you are now xx

Well so are Marigold, Penelope, Isabella, Priscilla, Apollonia, Bernadette, Francesca, Celestina - in the opinion of parents who have agreed together to give their daughters those names.

But the OP and her H agreed on Eden, though he had said during the discussions that he also liked Isla.

Then he took advantage of the fact that she was shellshocked from a near death experience and six weeks in hospital to give the baby a name she had not agreed on.

It actually doesn't matter at all what people on this thread think of the name Isla. It isn't the name the OP thought they had agreed on. It's a name her H foisted on the baby without agreement.

So you agreed on Eden and had never agreed on Isla ? And he went to register the birth and named her Isla. But you were there, but unwell so didn't say anything? 🤷‍♀️

It's a tough one because I'm sure bay couple would say they both have names they really liked but their partner hated or didn't rate.

Was she given a middle name?

I mean if he agrees then change it yes. But Isla is a great name anyway, very sweet.

I would make sure she has both names on the birth certificate. Then try calling her Eden for a while and ask your partner to do the same, to see how that feels. She’s still tiny, it’s fine to change the name, but I would try it first to be sure it’s really what you want.

What’s very troubling is your partner ignored what you agreed on when you were very sick. It’s not obvious, it’s weird and appalling.

I do prefer Isla to Eden. I think Eden is a bit naff, and has both born again Christian and stripper connotations. But if that’s what you want and agreed then change it. Evelyn or Erin might be alternatives.

Sorry to hear about what happened to you! That must have been really tough :(

I like Isla. Eden is OK.

What about Eilidh?

Your partner took advantage of your health emergency to give your DD a name other than the name the two of you had agreed on.

No this is not PND. It's a case of you realizing he cast your wishes aside and gave her a name he had probably preferred all along. Who the heck 'looks like an Isla' right after she's born

Eden is a real name that has been around for at least a generation. A cousin of mine has a daughter of this name, now in her twenties.

I think you need to sit your partner down and talk to him about doing something really important to your daughter that wasn't ok with you. It wouldn't have been ok to get her ears pierced without your full consent either, and that's the analogy I would use here. This is her name for life.

You were looking forward to life as the mother of a daughter named Eden, not someone named Isla.

Both are nice. For me I couldn’t get past how appalling your DH treated you when you were unwell. Using your illness to register the birth in a different name. If I was ill post childbirth I’d expect my preferences over DH to be honoured if we hadn’t agreed on a name. He sounds absolutely horrible.

re name if you prefer Eden you prefer Eden. People on mumsnet having a differing view shouldn’t put you off naming your baby the name you love and that you and DH chose together.

They’re both nice. I think most will prefer Isla although slightly prefer Eden myself. I think if you both agreed on that and Isla only by partner I can see why you feel like this. Sorry if that’s unhelpful!

I like them both but prefer Eden

I think I’d have to change it, or it would always be in the back of my mind.

Have you told your DH how you feel?

I like both. I always thought I'd call my DD Isla if I had one, but then I used a name more similar in style to Eden because I wanted it to be connected to my DS's name in origin.

But In my opinion I wouldn't change your DD's name now personally because it's a lovely name, it's not a crazy unique spelling or anything. I know an Isla and they seem to call her la la. If you ever have another DC then save the name for them. Or get a pet 🥰 ( I have a friend with a pet dog with the same name as her DD after she did this and then had a third child)

Well, as for those names, I have an Isla, she's 7. I know 1 other Isla and she is 10yo and spells it Ailla. My Isla is the only one in her year, her brownies, her swimming. I do hear others out and about. But it's not like when I was a child and there were 7 Sarah's in my class. I like the name a Eden too, I know 1 Eden. If your daughter feels like an Eden to you then I think you need an honest conversation with your partner.

I changed my DD's name when she was about 10 weeks old. I didn't have another name in mind, I just didn't like her given name and the feeling of dislike for it got worse and worse. So it was changed and I've never regretted it and very glad that I did as I still don't like her original name 14 years later! Everyone adjusted to the new name easily and she was too young to know anything!

I really don't like Eden - to me it's a place rather than a name. But you don't have to please anyone else. Isla is lovely and I don't know any. My dtwins were early and DH rejected the name I wanted for one of them and in my tired state I agreed to his choice. I have a unique nickname for him and he likes his name and says he wouldn't have liked my choice. So I've got used to his name, basically.

I have an Eden, so obviously I'm biased. It doesn't rhyme with anything bad and everyone can spell it.